Im 19, pregnant and i just dont know what to do!!!

Hi everyone, i have just found this website and reading everything said about pregancy by people in a simular situation to me i really need some friendly advice.

I'm 19 and just found out that i am pregnant.... again. I was 18 when i first fell pregnant unplanned and had no signs, so i was totaly unaware. but unfortunately i had a miscarriage around 16 weeks and vowed i didnt want to get pregnant after something that bad happening to me, anytime soon. me and my boyfriend were in total grief and despair!

I have recently found out that i am pregnant again with a home pregnancy test and once again me and my boyfriend are in obvious shock as again it was unplanned.

But i am now in a situation where is am torn between what to do!! i cant bear the thort of having a termination :'(, but im thinking me with a baby!?! is that really what i want!! i guess im in a good situation with a full time job, money coming in, but its also the fact that if i do want to keep it, telling my mum is the most scary thing ever. she was extremely supportive over my misscarriage, but its still a very frightening thing to tell your parents when only 19!

xxxx

Hello

hello i am 19 and i have 2babys one girl and she is 1 and a helf and her name is katie and 1 boy and he name is david he is 7weeks old and thay are the best thing in my life i am stll with the dad and ver happy with hem i think you wood love to have a baby but you wont becoz your bf do wot you wont to do let me no wot you have than plz all the best sharon 19

Hi there

hi there, i hope u did not had an abortion and if you went thru with the pregnancy congrats.... i had my first baby last years at the age of 34, it came in very good time but looking back i regret i didn't had her sonner. do tell your parents, what they going to do? kill u? no, maybe at first they wont support you but as soon as they get used to the idea and see the baby they have to be very unhumane not to fall in love it him/her.
i wish u all the best for you and the baby

Same situation!!

heloooo

im 19 on the 17th of this month and i have just found out that i am pregnant with my partner wjo i have only been with for only a few months, ive had a termination before and it was the worst thing i did and i regret it every single day, currently me and my mum are not speakin and i am living with my grandad i am very scared to tell both my mum and my grandad as i dnt no how any of them will react! my b.f thinks its best that i have a termination and is not budging from this idea but he does not seem to understand what i have been through before and there is just no talkin to him he thinks that his life will end and is very scared of the situation.
i understand what you are going through as i am in a similar sort of situation, i have also just started a new job and not too sure what they will think about this either.

xxxxxxxgood luck with what ever you decide xxxx
i am soooo confused and just dont no wot to du at alll????

Hiya

I had my son when i was 19, after having a termination a yr before, and myfamily and then partner were none too thrilled. I went ahead and had him anyway. I know it sounds awful but more so because i couldn't go through another termination than actually wanting a baby.

If you decide to go ahead it is the toughest thing you will ever do in your life but it is also the most rewarding and even though your family will be mad, when they look at your baby it will be forgotten.

I'm 23 now and my little man is starting school and i'm just sooo proud!!

It really sounds like your worried about what everyone else thinks. At the end of the day it is only you that has to live with whatever decision you make and there are so many groups and individuals that will offer you support should you need it. Your never really on your own even though it feels like it a lot of the time.

Sit down and think about what you want and only you.

Good luck.

Danni xx

Hiya

hi nicole.sory to hear about the miscarrage.i know how u feelin coz ive been there.i had 2 kids at 17 but ive now turned 18.my lil girl ella is 3 and my lil man jayden is 6 months.both pregnancys wernt planned but i couldnt go thru with abortion.can i just stress i am not anti abortion as it every womens free right but it was just a personal desition i made.i look back now and i wouldnt change a thing,sure it has been hard at times but i had my bf and my family behind me.if your worried you can always go back to work afta lil ones born and having a baby or unexpected pregnancy dont mean ure life ends infact i have found that is has actually driven me more to do my best in life and be succesful.yeah your young but dont mean you can be any less of a mum than any one in there 30s.wen i had my daughter every1 looked dwn at me and thought i would be a typical teenage mom but now i just laugh at them,my b.f. has a great job,we aint on benafits,im going to uni nxt year and we rent a lovely 3 bed house.can i also say i have nothing against bein on benafits coz i was till my b.f. earned enough money.as for telling ure parents,i was 14 wen i fell pregnant and it was hard but ones its out u will feel betta.also im gonna add this even though i wasnt coz it was somthing i didnt wana relive but at 16 i had a termination and i made a huge mistake as i sufferd guilt and depressin afta,make sure u think it thru.anyways sory to bable on but if i can do it then u can,dnt doubt ure ureself.xxx

Similar situation

I am 18 and pregnant for the 2nd time and have only been with my BF 4 n a half months i had a MC last time and tore me apart now i am pregnant again.
well to think you were so heartbroken when you had a MC last time i do not persoanlly think you could have a abortion.
i know what you mean about your mum as my mum has not spoke 2 me about it since i told her.
hope i canhelp xxxx

Chill out

I had my first whe i was 16 it was a shock as i was a wild teen i had a lot of freedom when i was growing up and being a only child i was spoilt i couldnt ever imagined myself back then with a kid but im now 21 with 3 children and couldnt imagine life without any of them! times are hard it was easier with 2 as you have 2 hands ive been with my boyfriend for 6 yrs!!!
ADVICE:
you are young but if i can you can do it you can!
just make sure you dont forget who you are!
plan a night out every weekend either with the gals or your partner!
being with your partner means double help from both families!
telling your mum will be a shock but tell her when you have decided what to do so you dont have any guilt put on you whatever decision you make!
she will be over the moon if you do have the baby its her grandchild, my mum says its even better being a nana cause you can give them back after!

hope ive helped let me know waht you decide !

Im 21 pregnant and dont know what to do

Hello Nicole,

I am in the same boat as you, I am 21 and have been irresponsible to be honest. I did a test last night and it was positive I am in complete shock and really really dont know what to do. You sound like your in a steady relationship and it seems like last time you were pregnant you were happy and were going ahead with it.. what has changed this time around? I can understand that you are scared about telling your mum, as am I, mine is a midwife too!! I think you should tell her get some good advice but always remember to make your own decision. My boyfriend and I have only been together 8 months he is 30 and said he is not ready for a child. However this morning he said he would support me whatever I decide...? Im confused scared and just dont know what to do, my mum is gonna be really pissed off with me and I know she will think it best that I have a termination. My curcumatances are that Im living with my brother, we bought a house last November and have a mortgage together, I have to think about him too, my job pays well and so does my partners but still... I dont know!!! xx

Hi : )

Thankyou so much for your reply. We are in a very simular situation, but right now my head is just completely confused.

I keep asking myself can I do this? Is this really happening to me?

Last time I was pregnant I didn't even know until I miscarried and that was at 16 weeks. Me and my partner were completely heartbroken.

But just as I type me and my partner are going strong, things have recently turned sour. Not at all because of this pregnancy because he assuresme he will stick by me whatever I decide although he isn't ready for a baby.

Telling my mum... well what can I do? How will I tell her? How will her and my family react? I don't even know what I am doing yet but I no she would be supportive considering she was when she found out about my miscarriage. Icouldnt even bring myself to tell her that... she found out a month later!!!

x x

Aww nicole

Chill Out, Spend Time On Your Own, And THINK About What You Want..!!
Regardless Of what you think your mum will say, at this moment in time its your feelings and your choice nobody else's. you partner had NO IDEA what you are going threw and all the emotions that are running threw your head. I respect the fact your worried about your mums feelings and the rest of the familym friends ect. but seriosly hun they will grow to it. People can only stay mad for so long and things like this happend everyday to everybody...E.G Myself!! Im 19 myself, and 9 weeks pregnant i was devastated..i had so much going for me, job, car, money, freedom, loverly boyfriend, easy life at home, cheap rent, and i was terrified it was all going to change. If i had my way i probaly would have had a termination simply because i feel i am still to selfish to commit to a baby for the next 18 years. But thinking long and hard i have a boyfriend that said he will stick by me, a car which is a bonus, and a job which ive been in for 3years and get great maternity leave, life will go on. things may be put on hold for a while but having a baby isnt the end of the world. Trouble is us young mummys worry about what other people think and say too much but to e honest LET THEM CARRY ON...forget them..because its number one you need to think about (yourself) good luck with whatever you do..xx

Reply 2 nicole

Just Reading What You Wrote Just Made Me Think Do You Ever Want Babies In The Future Cos 2 Be Honest If Your Partner Is Now 30 And You Are Saying He's Not Ready For A Baby Then I Don't Think He Ever Will 2 Be Honest. I Wouldn't Class 30 As Really Young 2 Be A Dad
It's Your Decision At The End Of The Day But If You Do Want Babies In The Future Then Possibly Your Not With The Right Man If He Doesn't Want Them
Good Luck

Candice 33 Weeks + 5days Pregnant With A Baby Boy
xO

Reply 2 nicole

Hi nicole i was in a similar position 2 u in 2006. I fell preganant at 19 i was with my partner for 8 months and was at college and had to jobs so it was a complete shock. I told my mom and was completely petrefied of telling her but she was understanding which was suprising.As i told my mom about the pregnancy my sister told me and my mom that she had an abortion that we did not know about i could tell she regretted it as she was telling us but she did it because she was too scared to tell my mom. I thought about having an abortion but just couldnt after seeing how upset my sister was so i carried on with the pregnanacy i still attended college up untill a week b4 my due date. 3months after having bailey i started uni as i was determined to make a sucess of my life i have now recently graduated. Having bailey young was a struggle im not going to lie but he has made my life so much richer in other aspects. I am now currently 24 weeks pregnant wth a lil girl and have now been with my partner 4 nearly four years i am glad i have started a family young as i have still persued my dreams of going to uni it has been tough but bailey has showed me that nothing is impossible