Hi there.

i have 3 children to my ex , husband, my oldest is 18, my youngest is 12, I met a man 3 years ago after long time on my own
after my ex husband had an affair on me. so took me long time to trust.

we fell in love very quick and started to live together, then we got engaged, not long after we found out we were expecting a baby,
we were shocked but very happy, as it was his first, before i met him , i never thought i would want anymore, i had also had a breakdown due to being over worked and stressed trying to be a good mum to onces i had. so was scared, but i had an termination when i was 21, which wasnt taken lightly, but it was best for my youngest at the time, being on my own.

i went for my scan at 12 weeks, only to find out we had lost the baby, i was on medication at the time for my breakdown, so thought this might have somethink to do with it, was told i might have a mola pregnancy, which was caused by cancer cells forming, so as you can imagine my shock, not only we had lost baby, but also i might have cancer.

anyway test were done on tissue, which was performed when dnc was carried out. lucky it all came back clear, i was so releved
6 months later we had been trying for baby almost straight away after test were clear, we hit the jack pot , i was pregnant again.
same thing again only had scan at 10 weeks to be safe, was lucky i did, because when they scanned me they found that the baby was eptopic, had to have emergencie op, to remove pregnancy and also my right tube at the same time, couldnt believe that we could be so unlucky both times, my doctor planned for me to be sterlised , but when i went to appintment and saw the
consultant she said that my other tube was healthy, and there was no reason for her to sterilise if it wasnt what we wanted,

she pointed out the risck to us, but said there are risk s with every pregnancy, i was so happy that she was telling us this,
but feel selfish at the same time for longing for another baby, like i said before i never thought i would ever meet a man who i loved enough to want to go through pregnancy again for , but i did , and we long to have a child together. we get married in 12 weeks time, im scared that he may not ever be a farther and would be such a shame, i love him so much and i realy dont want to loose him, but iv said to him, if it turns out that i cant have another pregnancy because of health reasons , i would understand if he didnt want to continue in our relationship, do you think this selfish? he says he loves me and nothink else
matters, and he has my 3 children who he loves as his own, he is fantastic, and thats why when i think i may not be able to have a baby with him, which would break my heart, how will we cope. we already lost 2.

please can anyone give me some advise ,