Hi,

I went for a scan last Wed at 9 weeks and got the sad news that my twins where not developing and that I had had a missed miscarriage.

I was devastated and had a D&C the next day. I have been having good and bad days with my moods, but I don't seem to be able to cry and I don't know how I am meant to feel.

I know it hasn't been long, but I have a few questions which I never asked my doctor and I was in shock at the time.

How long after a D&C should my husband and I wait to have sex (worried it will painful), and if we where to get pregnant again quickly would their be any risk to the baby. My doctor said we should wait a few months beofre trying but I don't know if I want to? Am worried that the longer we leave having sex and trying for a baby the harder it will be. (Sorry if TMI, I just don't know who else to talk to.)

I would just like to say I am sorry for everyones loss and I will appreciate any comments.

Thanks x

hello there i had a miscarriage on the day of my first scan it was hurrendous i woke up that morning very excited to be going for my 1st scan with my partner when all of a sudden i started bleeding very heavily, i got to the hospital and was examined and was informed i had, had a miscarriage it was the most awful news i was also told to wait before trying which i did but for less than the recommended time and i have just found out 3 days ago that i am pregnant again it is the best news i could have wished for. I will never forget my first unborn child but i have someone else to be strong for now... I would wait a while but you will know yourself when you and your partner anre redy to try again hope this helped take care and good luck

so sorry to hear your sad news, just wanted to reassure you all your worries are totally normal and there is no right way to feel. I couldn't cry for ages after my first m/c, felt numb like you and couldn't work out what I felt really. Just think it's a massive shock to the system and it takes a while for your emotions to catch up with what's happened to you physically. It can be really confusing cos you wonder why you're not a blubbering wreck and feel there must be something wrong with you that you're not more upset. It really is just shock and, even if you never cry it doesn't mean you didn't care about your twins, sometimes loss goes deeper than tears.

I've had 3 m/c's now and it hurts like hell but in a funny way each loss just makes me more determined. My friend said to me the other day that you have to experience the lows in life to really appreciate the highs and I think that's true. I know now how much I want kids and how loved they will be after what I've been through to have them. Know the docs advise waiting a while but I think you and your partner will know when you're ready to try again and there doesn't seem to be any medical reason to wait once any bleeding has stopped so do what feels right for you.

Hope you're doing ok, message anytime if I can help.

Lotsa love, Clare xxx

Your message really touched me - you sound such a strong person. I had a ruptured ectopic on NYE last yr 7 wks pregnant & didn't even realise it. Lost a tube but no other problems (pregnant on clomid first time). Had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago 6 wks preggers(again on clomid) having period now & hope to jump back on the band waggon soon to try for 3rd time lucky. Just wanted to share - it's good to hear others are in similar boats - 2008 our year girls! x

the docs only say to wait so that it makes their jobs easier to give you due dates. You try when you feel ready as you know when your body is ready. I had a mc 9 weeks ago and currently about 8 weeks pregnant again. There is no extra risk of mcing again and the docs/hospital/midwife will keep an eye on you. As for the sex, it wasnt sore, just the normal. You will have good and bad days, it will take time, i still get upset about mine but it gets better with each day. Any time you have ??? to ask us lot on here will try our best to answer it. Take Care
Lisa

Hello there im new to this site,im so sorry for your loss.i also miscarried,nearly 2 weeks ago now.i to am struggling,cried a little,but now feeling angry.
most dr will say wait anything from 1 to 3 months before trying again,this is for dateing reasons.although scans these days are very good..i know several people who have concieved again,before there period,and had healthy babys.as for having sex again,im afraid will hurt also,wait until you are ready,it may be uncomfortable in the beginning,as your cervix may be a little tender.we have tried again,just take it slow,you be in control.if it hurts then stop.no one can say how long will take to concieve again,but it will happen,i wish you all the best..