My names ashley im 21 years old and am ttc. I fell pregnant (with my first, By surprize) in may was absolutly over the moon!!! I had an early scan at 6 weeks and one at 8 as it had a suspected ectoptic but fortunatly every was "Fine". I carried on having the morning sickness, heart burn etc till about 14/15 weeks and had my dating scan at 17weeks (mine was later as i had two previous scans). On the 14th Aug I had my scan the baby was alive and had a very strong heart but unfortunatly had no amneotic fluid this meant the baby's organs (Kidneys, liver bladder etc) hadn't formed properly and meant my baby wouldn't survive in the real world. Me and my Partner had the choice of going full term or having a medical termination (Docs advised termination as it would be fairer for us and the baby). We deceided to have the termination and on the 16th Aug i was induced and delived my baby. I have never wanted to know the sex but doc have wrote it all down for me for the future .....WHEN not if i have more children. I know this sounds the most horrible message to write to you and I'm sorry if it has upset you but I just wanted to let you know it does get alittle easier i time. 3 months on and me and my partner are trying again so fingers crossed. But if you ever need to talk to anyone even if its just a rant to let off steam i'm here. And please don't let anyone elses judement upset you, you and your partner done what was best for you and your baby.

Take Care

Ashley x x x

Hi All,

I'm new and not quite sure what i'm doing so here goes...

After finding out i was pregnant in sept i saw the baby at 8wks on a scan as i have a cist on one of my ovaries so was having it checked out and the doctor dated the birth there and then so said i did not need to come back for the usual 12wk scan however my husband and i had booked for the 'ttt' test in a private hospital as i am 33, on arrival and seeing the baby we were very excited then the doc said there was something wrong, the sack at the back of the neck i believe should be less than 2mm, ours was 8.2, the scale finishes at 8mm! This meant poss downs but the doc said usually a downs baby has no nose profile on a scan and ours did, he also said the heart beat was slower and there were serious heart problems. He mentioned Edwards syndrome then said the baby wil prob not survive 20wks and if it did it would prob die during or literally just after birth, whe said he didn't really need to do the blood test as he could see there were magor issues but would test it anyway, he called us later to say the downs had gone from 1 in 2 to 1 in 6 and Edwards had gone to 1 in 2!

In the space of a week our lives had just crumbled around us as, it was our first baby, as the baby was so sick that it was recommended we terminate or i world have to give birth to it if it died after 14wks, we were told it would be classed as a miscarriage and we could have our baby burrid or cremated, we chose a cremation.

As we new the baby would have no chance of survival due to the scale of defects it had we had no option but to terminate, so from the monday and seeing the little one to the fri when i was in hospital getting rid of the much wanted baby.

I feel terrile that we had to get rid of it and when speaking to friends i asked them not to judge us on our decision and some friends are pregnant and chose not to have the test.
This was last friday (9th Nov) and i am still of work, after the op i felt good that we could start again but now it's sunk in i feel lost and angry that we were chosen to have to go through this.

All i want to do is try again asap but my husband is saying take it easy and to get myself well again, he hs been wonderful and very supportive.

Has anyone out there got pregnant very soon after a miscariage and can anyone offer me any advice as i am scared this wil happen again though we were assured we had the same chance as anyone on having a healthy baby next time round.

Sorry this has been so long.

Lucy

My names ashley im 21 years old and am ttc. I fell pregnant (with my first, By surprize) in may was absolutly over the moon!!! I had an early scan at 6 weeks and one at 8 as it had a suspected ectoptic but fortunatly every was "Fine". I carried on having the morning sickness, heart burn etc till about 14/15 weeks and had my dating scan at 17weeks (mine was later as i had two previous scans). On the 14th Aug I had my scan the baby was alive and had a very strong heart but unfortunatly had no amneotic fluid this meant the baby's organs (Kidneys, liver bladder etc) hadn't formed properly and meant my baby wouldn't survive in the real world. Me and my Partner had the choice of going full term or having a medical termination (Docs advised termination as it would be fairer for us and the baby). We deceided to have the termination and on the 16th Aug i was induced and delived my baby. I have never wanted to know the sex but doc have wrote it all down for me for the future .....WHEN not if i have more children. I know this sounds the most horrible message to write to you and I'm sorry if it has upset you but I just wanted to let you know it does get alittle easier i time. 3 months on and me and my partner are trying again so fingers crossed. But if you ever need to talk to anyone even if its just a rant to let off steam i'm here. And please don't let anyone elses judement upset you, you and your partner done what was best for you and your baby.

Take Care

Ashley x x x

Hi Ashley,

Thanks for your support, it's so hard to think that it was us (me and hubby) who made the decision the terminate,(though very much backed by the doc's) i know it was for the best but when it's a wanted baby and your choosing to get rid especially when your friends are pg as well it's just crap!

I'm so desperate to try again but my husband says no until i have a period, and to be honest i'm still bleeding. Can i ask you how long did it took you to stop bleeding as my op was the 9th Nov and it hasn't stoped yet? In fact yesterday it got a bit heavier more like a perod but has slowed down again, i called the nhs helpine and they said it was normal.

Lucy
x x x

I delivered on the 16th Aug and didn't stop bleeding until about the 1st Sept. I had my first "proper" period on the 16th Sept (Exactly 1 month) my cycles have been quite normal (As normal can get) since then infact I think I'm ov today! We started trying again after my first period and this is my 3rd month trying so fingers crossed! It is so draining tho especially when you have friends pg. I wouldn't advise phoning the NHS direct they really worried me. Can you phone your gyny ward they helped me loads I was even admitted again two weeks after m/c as I wouldn't stop bleeding but they informed me this is "normal". If you ever need a chat just pm me any time take care.

Ashley x x x

to hear about your lost, I know how you feel. I lost in 9th aug 07 (hubs bday), at 6 weeks. I was lost, i switched off every phone in the house wouldnt answer the door or nothing for the first 3 days, then nick talked to me asking me to try again, it hurt us both so much but he felt if we tired it would help us both take our minds off of the wee angel. Later that week we caught again. When I had the mc, I was told that it was possiable to get caught again and if we did decide to, it was the same chance as of mcing as having healthy and would be ok to start trying also that a period would start between 4-6 weeks after. I found out that 4 people i know had mc and then caught right after and had healthy kids. So i decided to do a test on the 10th of sept and it was positive, had a scan at 5-6 weeks and showed a little dot with a healthy looking heartbeat, ongoing pregnancy. 2 weeks ago, i had my 12 week scan and showed a healthy looking baby. I am the 5th person in my family (in-laws included) that this has happened and i do believe that when you do get pregnant again that its going to be healthy think positive. Sorry mine long to but thought i give you my background.
Lis 13+5

You certainly have been through a tough tough time. I haven't experienced your loss but I have had two miscarriages this year - it's not easy is it.

But I can offer you a little hope. I had my second miscarriage 1st October, took a holiday and decided to take some time then we'll try again. I was booked into the hospital two weeks ago for some routine blood tests and they told me I was pregnant!!! We're hoping for third time luck (this will be our first) and we weren't obviously trying. It's still early days but fingers crossed.

I know you're hurting and you want to be pregnant again and it will happen. But there is something to be said for waiting....I did that after my first miscarriage and it helped me no end.

Do whatever you feel is right but keep your chin up and we're here if you need to talk.

Lots of love and big skweeshy (I'm Scottish!!) cuddles!

Liz xxxxxxxxxxx

i had an induced miscarriage at 14+weeks when my waters broke and they said the baby wouldn't survive without the fluid arnd it. it was the worst experience ever. i am still haunted by those few days in the hospital...the thought of being the one to end my own babys life...

people dont seem to understand what i went through -everyone says put it behind u and take better care next time -like it was my fault and i didnt take my pg seriously..

its devestating -all our dreams shattered -it would have been our first and my parents were so looking forward to their 1st grandchild too...

worst of all is most of my friends are pg and my cousin is too...having to listen to their pg stories is heartbreaking....reminds me of wht is no longer mine..

i pray and hope with all my heart my next one goes well and i can't wait to hold my baby again...

take care all...