hi, i hav'nt posted here for a while as i have been in and out of hospital for what seems like a lifetime. back in april i had a missed mc at 21 weeks, i was so shocked as this was my first pregnancy, but we had a beatiful funeral for my boy Jack, and after lots of tests was told we could try again. then in august we found out we were expecting again and was so exited, but nervous at the same time. the doctors said i could come for an early scan just to make sure things were ok, so me and my partner went at 10weeks....to find out that we had lost another baby, we did'nt know what to do and hav'nt really spoke this time round, its not like last time we both really wanted to try again, but this time its like were just in shock or something, like it has'nt happened. i feel like i need to talk to him but i cant because he does'nt want to, and i fully respect that but if i cant talk to him who can i talk to??? when i got pregnant the first time we told everyone, but this last one was a seceret simply because of what happened, i think this is why were finding it so difficult to talk abaut this time round. i keep loosing my temper and shouting at him bacause i think he has just brushed all his feelings aside, but he assured me that he thinks about what happened to us every day. its my birthday tomorrow and he has the day off to take me shopping so im going to try and have a day without crying if i see a pregnant lady(it wont be easy...will it?) lol...im only 25(tomorrow) and people tell me ive got ages to have a baby, but nothing will ever stop the hurt of loosing a baby. im sure my time will come. p.s. do i need to cut my fella some slack????LOLxx b.xx sorry its so long, its been a while.

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this a second time. Life is so cruel. I've had 2 mc in just over a year, and it is soul destroying. It's something that is dealt with very uniquely by any one who goes through it and each time it happens, it brings a totally new batch of emotions. This is going to apply to your fella too.

It's hard because you didnt tell anyone, you dont feel you have anyone to talk to. Maybe you could tell some one else, someone you trust, it would probably help to just let out your emotions without having to rely on your fella, who is no doubt going through his pain and anguish too. After my first mc I decided that I was going to make a point of telling close friends and family so that if it did happen again, they'd be there for me. It did, and I have to be honest, it was a relief to have them there for me.

There are no right or wrongs in this hun, so dont be hard on yourself for snapping or crying. You've been through so much and it's going to take time.

I hope things start to get easier for you soon.

Lots of love and big hugs.

Sarah 9+1 wks. (3rd time lucky) xxx