Db is in 2 minds to ttc again : Discussion Board soFeminine - 6 July

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Thread started by:
"Db is in 2 minds to ttc again"
Posted by la232 13 March  at  14:14

so hi all well i had a m/c last wk after 17 month of ttc,i think im ok and db is sort of.....the pregnancy before that was a eptopic and i was rushed in the docs said if id of left it another half hr id of died,anyway now db is in 2 minds wether to try again he says he doesnt no if he could go through it again.
the thing is i really want to try again....how do i convince him
linzi
 
Replies:
 
Messages:
"Hi hon"
Posted by rachjones 14 March at 22:32

So sorry to hear about your m/c. i m/c last nov and altho the pain wasn't that bad, the circumstances (toilets in a motorway service station) and me being heartbroken after and still having dodgy days seem to have put my OH off a bit.
maybe just give him some time, it's still early days. ultimately i think my OH will realise that if i'm prepared to take the risk for what i want more than anything then he'll have no choice but to go along with it!

Good luck hon, Rach x x x
"I know exactly what u mean!"
Posted by saucysassy 14 March at 11:46

But with me its other way around I had exactly same story had ectopic that actually ruptured luckily was in hospital preparing for theatre at the time and it was still very touch and go as I lost so much blood but I pulled through and that was the absolute roughest time for my hubby I never saw him so worried and scared for me in his life he was absolutely terrified to get me pregnant after that for atleast a year til he knew i was really strong and ready. When we started to try again I got pregnant after about 3 months and now miscarried but its me whos wondering can i go through another baby and if i lose it again I just dont know and its my OH whos saying dont let past get u down we will have a baby but my heads not ready even tho i want to try right away im so confused! I think men dont feel the loss of a baby as much as the woman does in a way but they see how it affects u and they dont want u to feel that way again which is why hes worried i think its just about giving it time for him to relax and realise ur fine ur over it as much as u can be and u can cope and a baby is something that u both really want. Im sure hell come around in his own time so good luck use ur womanly wiles and charms!
"Hi me again. "
Posted by vic792 13 March at 18:13

Well my hubby is a bit like that too. I think they just worry about us. Espesially after an eptopic I had a threatened eptopic and he was like no way are we trying again. But when it wasn't he calmed down abit.
Maybe he just needs a bit of time. Otherwise you will have to just jump on him when he is asleep lol.
Take care hun
Vic xx
"Hey"
Posted by ashley1206 13 March at 16:06

I had this after my mc in Aug last year. I think it's because they feel so helpless. And not sure if your OH is anythinng like mine but he never spoke about it didn't even like me talking about it, he's a sort of brush it under the carpet and it will all dissapear sort of bloke. (I tend to talk for England I find this helps) After a 4 hour heart to heart one evening I managed to persued him to try again and here we are.

Maybe if you talk to him and let him know you are ready this will help

tc Ashley x
"Sorry to hear your news"
Posted by lolly2310 13 March at 14:40

So sorry to hear about your loss. I suppose he must be so worried about you and feels like he can't put himself through it again? But if you really want to keep trying, maybe show him the info on websites about healthy pregnancies after M/C. Have you considered counselling? I have had one M/c and a chemical pregnancy and have been offered counselling by NHS. I don't know whether to go but I'm considering it. Maybe that would help him to have all the info and they could reassure him about how they would monitor you through pregnancy?
Good luck with everything.
Lu




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