it is totally understandable to feel annoyed at people at work, they either ignore you or are over the top. i went back to work soon after both my miscarraiges and it sucks!! i dont know about you but i wanted the world to stop so I coud be in my grief and its sounds that you are still at that stage. It is awful to lose a baby and the emptiness you feel is totally normal and reasonable and you have to give yourself time to grieve and be sad. The smiley face is really hard and exhausting so trying to find some people who you dont have to put it on with is helpful. time is a great healer and it wont be long before you start to feel better again (I know that doesnty help right now) have you tried to mark your loss, i planted a tree with both my m/c's or some people write a letter and bury it like a saying goodbye it can be therapeutic. take care hope things get better at work soon, xxrachxx

Hi everyone - well I went back to work yesterday (2 weeks after m/c) - was so hard, I felt physically sick on the way in, and then only saw a couple of people to begin with before I got to my office and shut the door!! - I thought people would be putting their heads round the door saying hi but only 2 did and I started to get angry and upset thinking nobody cared!! i know that's stupid and in reality people were just giving me a bit of space on my first day and wouldn't know what to say in case they upset me, trouble is I get upset thinking people are ignoring me cos I think they don't care. they'd put a basket of flowers on my desk which set me off. today I got angry cos some of them were laughing in the corridor outside my room and I'm thinking "don't laugh, how can you be laughing" - i think I must be going mad, all I can see is emptyness and nothingness, all i can think about is getting pregnant again, my life at the minute seems to have no purpose to it, I can't be bothered with work and I can't be bothered to socialise. I know it takes time but I feel people expect me to just get on with it and unless they've been through the same ordeal they've just no idea how to react to me and I'm getting angry and upset because of that.

Sorry for the rant but I'm really having a hard time dealing with this, am putting a smiley face on for people to make them feel better!
I'll shut up now!
Shirley

I feel for you i really do im lucky in that I work from home and I personally hadnt told anyone I was pregnant except my sister and the parents of me and hubby so didnt have anyone to tell i didnt even tell my friends until I was sure and seems was good decision my sis decided to tell the whole world tho and thats annoyed me. Im like you dont want everyones sympathy cos Id be in tears but when they say nothing makes me mad like im not important! me personally I couldnt have faced going to work I work for myself and i cant be bothered and nothing seems important and dont care about it and have to pretend to be happy as hubby gets annoyed when I get upset. I dont know the solution only thing I know is something major happened to you if you havent been through it noone has the right to tell you how you feel sure at some time you have to move on but its when you want and dont give a damn what other people think cos right now its perfectly acceptable to be selfish!

I totally feel for you.....I felt the same when I went back to work. I went back 5 days after the miscarriage (a few of the girls from here told me it was too soon and I think they were probably right). I didn't feel "with it" enough to be at work, but I was damned if I was going to sit around in my pyjamas for another day and let it keep me down and keep reminding me thats things were far from normal, so I went for the normality really.

Unfortunately, hardly anyone at work seemed to care, granted, it wasn't their job to run around me and see if I was OK every 5 mins but they barely even flinched when I said why I'd been off, and if anything were questioning when I'd be working normal hours again etc. (yeah, thanks).

It was a shame because it made me question some friendships on top of everything else going on.

Having said all that - going back to work is one of the hurdles on the way to recovery, and you've done well to get through it. We all know how you must have felt and hopefully you can feel reassured you're not alone.

Take care,
Love N xx

When you mention questioning your friendships i agree - there's one woman in particular I work with more than anybody else and she hasn't even asked me how i'm doing! - she hasn't blanked me but she might as well have for all the help she's been! - she hasn't even mentioned it - maybe I shouldn't be too harsh maybe she's worried to say anything - but it really does make you think just who does give a s..t about you.

But at least like you say I've made the first step and hopefully it'll get a bit easier with every day.
Shirley xx

hi ohh like you said people were just giving you a bit of space,trying not to upset you.....its been 2 wks since my m/c i think ive suprised myself i mean i have my bad days but ,i had a eptopic before this one and i went down drinking more,so i wont let it win me this time i will get a b f p..........................
if you need to talk just pm me
linzi

it is totally understandable to feel annoyed at people at work, they either ignore you or are over the top. i went back to work soon after both my miscarraiges and it sucks!! i dont know about you but i wanted the world to stop so I coud be in my grief and its sounds that you are still at that stage. It is awful to lose a baby and the emptiness you feel is totally normal and reasonable and you have to give yourself time to grieve and be sad. The smiley face is really hard and exhausting so trying to find some people who you dont have to put it on with is helpful. time is a great healer and it wont be long before you start to feel better again (I know that doesnty help right now) have you tried to mark your loss, i planted a tree with both my m/c's or some people write a letter and bury it like a saying goodbye it can be therapeutic. take care hope things get better at work soon, xxrachxx