hey clare
when i had my m/c the hossie said that theyd put me on aspein the next time i got pregnant,i dont no why.we started trying again as im 27 but my db is 37 you see so his 10 years older than me,but if your panakin a bit go to the doctors and aks them it wont hurt anyone will it.have they not mentioned the asprin to you?
i hope you will try again soon your rite thou all the emotional stuff what goes with it,non of my mates have ever lost a baby so comming on here helps me,the way i look at it our lucks gotta change at one point,theres a little bundle out there for us weve just gotta get it.if you ever need to talk to me pm me anytime i hope you will try again soon.take care for now
linzi xxxxx

I had two miscarriages last year. The first was a missed one which was picked up on my 12 week scan on 24th May. I went home to decide what to do and waited for things to happen naturally. I had no signs that I was miscarrying, in fact still felt pregnant even though the baby had died about two weeks previously. Eventually I decided to go and have a D&C even though it wasn't what I wanted. I felt that I was getting rid of my baby. I hated being in hospital, some people were understanding, others not. what I found hardest was that people were taking over my body and I had no control. Having said that the op itself was fine and they gave excellent pain relief. I did get an infection and ended up back in hospital later in the week. We decided to try again once I had my first normal period and we got pregnant in the first month of trying. We were absolutely thrilled! There were 4 other women at work pregnant and I was relieved that it had happened for us too as I would have been devastated. I was so anxious during my second pregnancy and my sickness eased off fairly quickly. I panicked and arranged a scan which showed that the pregnancy was 7 weeks and one day and all looked normal, heart beating merrily away. Nine days later I started bleeding. Another scan arranged for next day which showed baby had died soon after the first scan. As things had already started to happen I decided that I would go home and let nature take it's course. I asked the nurse at the EPU what it would be like and she said it would be like a heavy period, blood loss and clots, heavy cramps and if I examined what I passed that I might see the remains of the yolk sac which would look like a grey-white membrane. Reassured I went home thinking I could cope with that rather than go through the D&C again. That week I had cramps and blood loss as described and it started to tail off so I thought it was all over. However then in the middle of the night I awoke with awful pains in my bits. I spent two hours sat on the loo (pushing!) and throwing up. I thought at the time that I had another infection. The pain eventually subsided and I dozed. My husband suggested that we get some sleep and I went to the loo for a wee before settling back down. As I sat down I could feel something coming out and it plopped into the toilet. I knew then that I had passed my baby and all that pain had been it passing through my cervix. It was about the size of a plum. I couldn't bring myself to flush it away so I fished it out and buried it at the bottom of the garden!
This was in October. I buried all of my feelings and tried to cope as it seemed that people expected me to do so. It was almost like 'well you've been through it once a second time should be easier'. No-one really spoke about it or offered much in the way of support or understanding. If I started to cry I would distract myself and bury the emotions thinking that if I did that eventually they would subside. My second baby was due on 13th May. All the others at work are due now or have given birth already and another friend didn't tell me she was pregnant until she was 20 weeks! She is due a month after I was. I haven't dealt with this well or really had chance to talk aout it hence the length of this and the tears coursing down my cheeks as I type!
I am glad that I had the D&C with the first after my experiences with the second. To have passed a baby twice the size would have been extremely painful! I feel let down by the hospital for not letting me know what it really would be like. It's only by coming on sites like this that you find out which I think is wrong. Also I have to say that it is reassuring to read others stories to know that you aren't alone, and that other people have similar experiences to you.
I am now trying to face my grief and deal with it so that I can move forwards. The thought of trying for another baby fills me with dread, that I might go through the same again is just too awful to contemplate.
If you are going through this now I feel for you, don't allow others to interrupt your grief and let yourself cry (even if you don't think you'll stop - you will!)
If anyone else has been where I am now I would love to hear from you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you haven't writing it has been useful in itself
Take care all x
Clare

hi clare i totally no how you feel.apart from you being so far te first time,i hads my first m/c nearly 8 wks ago and i stll cry.this is my story
been with my bf for nearly 8yrs in jan 06 decided to have the coil out and start ttc i i didnt think nothinbg just went with the flow in aug 06 my period wasnt even due (for a wk anyway) i stareted to get belly ache just thought it was period pains,i was then constipated so i sent db over the old mans over the road for laxitives.i hadnt been the toilet for 3 days,the pains started to get worse it was worse than labour its all i can describe it as,it was worse the following nite and went the walk in center they asked me if i could be pregnant and i said my period wasnt due for a week or so she done a pregnancy test and it was posotive i aws so chuffed but the pain was awfull.anyway she felt my stomache and rang the hospital i heard the conversation a suspected eptopic.i was rushed to hospital were i kept clapsing they took me to a n e.were i as for a few hrs kept calapsing anyway they took me for a scan and they couldnt see no baby the look on andys face it hounts me still for this day.tgey rushed me down to theater and i woke up later on,drugged up i slept for nearly 2 days i stayed in hospital for 5 days reality kicked in,the woman in the bed facing me had a eptopic and she was pregnant a yr later i new i coukld still have kids,at home sunk into depression drunk every friday and saturday night,head wrecked,when i was in theater my tube ruptured if id of been half a hr late i would of died or so they told my mum,they even told her to get my dad there,my whole world fell apart i was 25 and felt like half a woman.we went on holiday 5 wk later to spain didnt help thou.we decided to try again its alls i thought about after trying for 5 month still nothing so i went the docs and they sent db for a sperm count,he did it.that month we stopped using ov tests as i had enough,anmyway he got the results and made the appoinment for the monday,my period was due on the saturday before i done a cheap test as i was out drinking all day and they were negative,i still hadnt come on by sunday so done another test (hung over)it was posotive omg i couldnt belive it so i bought another 2 and they were posotive.i made a appoinment to see the nurse who confirmed it,he went for his results and it showed he had a low sperm count but it didnt matter,a wk and half later i went for a scan and all was ok i seen my little baby and i felt like the luckiest woman in the worl i was 5 and 1/2 wks.2 wk later i started with belly ache by 2 days i started to bleed.(i bled when i was pregnant with my daughter all the way thoruogh)i went to a n e who sent me home and told me to go for a scan on the monday morning,the pains got worse i new something wasnt rite i told andy i thought id lost it i was crying,he told me i was being stupid.i went for my scan and it was confirmed my little baby was there so much bigger than my last scan.but no heart beat i couldnt belive it why me.i went home and the day passed i was booked in for a d nc 2 days later.the day after i passed my baby i saw it just looked at it for ages crying histerically i flushd it away....i didnt go out for a wk just cried well i sort of picked myself up as leah(my daughter) it wasnt fair on to see me like that.ia wk later i recived a letter from the hospital with my 3 month scan it was for 7th april at 11.40 well again crying angry i took it all out on andy.i prepared myself fpor my period and it came again i crumbled,its been nearly 8 wks and im ok or so i think and were back at trying again and i have my bad days like you im sobbing,i take each day as it comes.and i no the heartache will start each month when my period comes but i want it so much.
tc linzi xxxxx

Hi Linzi, is good to know that I'm not alone. although wouldn't wish this on anyone either if you know what I mean. Have been wondering whether to go to doc's and ask for tests before trying again. Am 36 this yr and still don't feel up to trying again but don't want time to pass me by. As a bigger kick in the teeth my periods are far worse now so each month is such a bitter reminder. Hearing your story and what you've been through, it makes me so angry that people don't give us the time and understanding that we need. they have no idea of the way that it affects us emotionally. You are so brave to start trying again so soon i really admire you. Hope it works out ok for you. I keep thinking go on - third time lucky! But so scared.
take care of you and yours
Clare xx

hey clare
when i had my m/c the hossie said that theyd put me on aspein the next time i got pregnant,i dont no why.we started trying again as im 27 but my db is 37 you see so his 10 years older than me,but if your panakin a bit go to the doctors and aks them it wont hurt anyone will it.have they not mentioned the asprin to you?
i hope you will try again soon your rite thou all the emotional stuff what goes with it,non of my mates have ever lost a baby so comming on here helps me,the way i look at it our lucks gotta change at one point,theres a little bundle out there for us weve just gotta get it.if you ever need to talk to me pm me anytime i hope you will try again soon.take care for now
linzi xxxxx