Hiya Ladies,
since december 07 ive had 2 m/c & am still recovering from my latest. My sister-in-law had a gorgeous little baby girl in october (2 months before my 1st m/c) who I absolutely adore, she admitted today that shes aborted a child this week! Her & my brothers attitude is 'its our business' Im very good friends with my sister in laws sister & ive heard that my sister-in-law is refusing to use contraception because she wants my bro to have the operation so she doesnt have to take the pill etc. My brother is refusing because hes only 34 & says hes got 3 kids & theres nothing saying he wont want more in the future. I just dont know what to think or feel about the whole thing, I think my bro is right to refuse the op but then he contradicts himself by going along with a termination even though he 'might want more kids' I mean, wheres the logic. They act has if they never got caught pregnant & my s.i.l even expected sympathy the night she 'got rid' in her words! Im quite mad but then I just start to feel teary, im doing all I can to act has if I havent heard the news at all but deep down I dont know if I wanna slap her & let her know WHY I think shes in the wrong or just totally blank her because its all too close to home @ the minute.

I neither agree nor disagree with termination, I believe some people are justified in their choices but what makes me mad is the fact that they just have sex & think 'oh if it happens ill get rid again' Am I going insane or does this just not make sense, what kinda world we living in here, la la land? These are babies for crying out loud, I mean, she only has to look at her daughter to see what comes at the end of the bump! I just think Im going to have to stay away from her & him for a while till I can get my head round the whole situation! Any advice would be appreciated, my husband hasnt got an opinion, he just disagrees with their contraception (or lack of it)

Hellen xxx

Hi Hellen,
I know it's been a while since you posted this message and I hope that you're feeling a bit better. I completely understand where you are coming from. when you have been through a pregnancy loss to have to face someone doing it of their own free will seems absolutely crazy!! Just remember that everyone makes decisions for a reason and emotion will come into that whether they choose to show it or not. Throughout my miscarriages I have known people get pregnant whilst drunk on a one night stand and
carry to term giving birth to healthy babies outside of a loving relationship without a father. i know that other people will have their views on single mothers being good mothers etc but it grated on me that we can't have a baby when we desperately want one yet someone else can have one so easily.
Our OH's can also be annoyingly objective where emotions are concerned. Mine is just the same. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care it's just That they have DIFFERENT BRAINS!!

take care hon
Clare x