hi girls, its actually not till 20th june but makes me cry just thinking about so god knows what i'll be like on the day. Really thought i'd be pg again by now and that that would lessen (not take away) the pain but i'm not. Have booked day off work and plan to go up to hills with oh to get away and also pay some sort of tribute to the little person i so wanted to meet but never will.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope cos am worried i'm going to fall apart a bit x x x

Hi Rach and All,
My 2nd due dater is this tuesday 13th. O my first due date I tried to block it all out (was still trying to come to terms with 2ns miscarriage as well) and had the plasterers in that day!! Nothing like a house in turmoil to take your mind off things! I didn't show any emotion for ages. in fact i remember stting down thinkin I could relax on Christmas Eve and starting to cry. I just got up and started doing something else to take my mind off it. Big mistake! I just kept doing that until mid January when I came down with every bug under the sun! What I'm trying to say is - don't bury your emotions. You have every reason to feel loss and cry and you should do so. It's sad that sometimes our OH's don't see the significance of hese dates, but they didn't carry the baby and they didn't go through the physical trauma of losing it so they can't possibly understand in the same way.
On the 13th I have booked the day off work. My OH is working night and can't get the time off so I will be doing things for me. The last few weeks have been really hard. I have had three colleagues at work who have given birth in the last month (I was next!) and I have really just let it all out regardless of who has been there. Over the past few weeks I have been making a memorial garden at the bottom of our garden where the 2nd baby is buried. this has brought me a lot of pleasure in creating something beautiful for my little babies. I am going to get a memorial plaque and some other bits and bobs for it in tuesday. I am also going to have a massage facial and pedicure and cook myself something really nice or go out somewhere (depends how I feel).

I think that it is important to mark these anniversaries in order to help us to move on. What has happened to us is not insignificant although others can make us feel that way.

Take care of yourselves, we will be stronger for this, but remember it is not a weakness to cry.
Clare xx

I felt exactly the same and I think only you and your oh can get each other through it. I was 17 wks when I had to have a medical termination and would of been due on the 25th Jan. (Mt on 16th aug) so I was near on positive that I would of be pg by then but here I am May and still being visited by the deadly witch lol. I like yourself booked the day off work but changed my mind at the last minute and it seemed to take my mind off things being in a "normal" day. I received a call from the midwife at the beginning on Jan to say she would love to come and see me before one of the most exciting days of my life arrived!!!!

I still have my off days yesterday being one of them but we have just booked our wedding for next june so hopefully this will take my mind off ttc

Take care and pm me any time

Ashley x x x

And I'm not sure how I feel really.

My mother and sister in law are taking me out to dinner later to try to distract me

I think the worst thing is that OH does not seem to have remembered or realised what today is - it would have been nice if we could have done something nice together to remember the little one we lost.

I guess he is trying to focus on the task ahead - I have 12 week scan for this pregnancy on Tuesday. I found out the last one hadn't made it at the same stage so I guess he's anxious.

Oh well, just have to carry on I suppose. Good luck with your horrid day in June.

Take care

Lisa x x x

i just read your post and cried, im 5 weeks down the line and my baby would be due on my mums bday so ill never forget that...
taking some time out and breakin the routine willl help allowing yourself time to grieve and deal with your emotions. when i passed my baby i buried them in my parents back garden we now have a sleeping cherub there as a memorial almost. why dont you let off a pink and blue balloon when your away, i liked that idea for me too. do what makes you happy, or at least feel a little bit better. you wont fall apart you ave come all this way and u have been there for others including me. your not alone pm me if ya need to.

big hugs honey be strong but let your emotions free

xxxxxxxxxxx

Oh hun, I totally feel for you. I don't have any words of wisdom about dealing with the date itself, infact - the due date for the baby I lost will be about 10 weeks after yours so I'll probably be back tapping you for info about how to cope - but I think what you've said sounds like a good plan. Doing something to mark the day but also to take you away from it all is probably wise. I suspect you'll have a good old cry on the day but you'll feel stronger when it's passed as it's the worst of the landmark days to get passed. Just think you've come this far, and one way or another you'll be OK after that day too. We'll all be here to listen if you want a good old rant around that time aswell.

Huge hugs xxxxxxx

your words have made me feel a bit better. In a way i'm hoping that it will kind of give me a bit of closure and of course i'll always wonder but i so want to get this date out of the way.
So reassuring to know that you and all the girls are here and hope i can provide some words of support when needed x x x