I don't know what to do really.
I'm 18. I was 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I went to the hospital by myself a couple of days ago because I had slight bleeding. I didn't have any pain in the lower stomach area. At the time I didn't think there was anything seriously wrong, as my boyfriend's mum said to me that it could just be spotting.
The doctor said that there didn't seem to be anything wrong with me but I should come back the next day for a scan. When I did go back yesterday, the nurse did my first ever ultrascan. Just seeing it on the monitor made me feel really happy and hopeful, so I didn't think there was anything wrong. I should of really, but it really hit home when the nurse said there was no heartbeat. I didn't even think about it, just seeing the baby was breath-taking.
The doctor just said it wasn't my fault, the baby just died. But I feel that's not good enough for me, for absolutely no reason my baby has died. That is what hurts the most, the fact that there really isn't a valid reason as to why this happened. Is it really my fault? Is there something wrong with my body? Did I not eat the right foods? The doctors, I felt, were being very unhelpful and insensitive about it. After telling me that they were sorry, they then went on to say that I had two choices; a natural miscarriage or an operation. They gave me a bunch of papers and then said goodbye. They didn't ask me what I wanted to do. I didn't really notice this much as I was in a bit of a state, but now I feel insulted and extremely hurt that they didn't check I was ok to go home on my own.
I don't know how I can cope with this, because I sacrificed a lot of things to have this baby; smoking, drinking, even my family. But now it seems like that was pointless, my life feels pointless. Everything was going so right. I hadn't even properly considered miscarriage. I have been in a daze half the time, and I can't properly eat or drink anything. I don't want to go out anymore because when I left the hospital yesterday every baby and pram and child suddenly stood out. I don't think I can keep living like this, it seems like it will never go away.
Please help because at the same time, I don't want this to affect me my whole life in the way it is now.

im so sorry that you are going thru this honey , your storyy sounds just like mine i started bleeding went for scan feeling positie as every one had said how its quite normal to bleed early preg etc, my first scan, same as you lady said i can see baby but no heart beat i saw my baby just lying there... i was 10 weeks but baby had died at 8. i was 2 weeks off the danger zone i too had stopped drinking smokin etc i was devastated thought world was going to end didnt know how i would cope..

i passed my baby 4 days later and buried it it gave me some closure, i will never forget but time as eased the pain. im now 7 weeks and think im m/c again heavy bleeding extreeme pain have scan tom....

but alot of people do o on to have normal pregnancys, there is noting we did wrong, i think alot of the time in early preg we m/c as baby does not develop properly , but does not say it will happen again. i think you can have tests but dont think they do that till you have 3 m/c which seems so wrong we have to go thr that pain before we can get anwers but also think that just shows that the chances for alot of people having more than one m/c is slim...

sorry am i babbling..

take each day as it comes honey, you will get thru this and when you ready you ttc again, dont give up hope pm me any time you want to chat

big hugs

Really.
It made me feel a bit better reading what you wrote.
I am having an operation on Tuesday as I don't think I could have a natural m/c. Too much trauma, what with everything that has been going on.
My family have been surprisingly supportive. They were against this pregnancy so I was really shocked when they were sympathising with me and looking after me.
I have also started having counselling sessions. I think it is helping, although after the first one I don't think I said much that could have helped my counsellor understand...I just don't think I made sense.
I think I could eventually go through each day, it's just so hard right now. I just want to give up.
I'm sorry to hear about your m/c, I'm praying that the scan will go ok for you today.
Thank you again for your message.

x