We have some friends visiting soon.
They lost their son ~23 weeks and this would have been his due date.
They want to mark the occasion by going to the beach and reading a poem.

I am touched that they want to share this with us but am worried about saying the wrong thing or my emotions getting out of control due to my own m/c. (Nov'07 & Aug'08). My m/c were before 7 weeks and I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to make it past 20 weeks and have the worst happen.

How do I offer support and sympathy without making it seem like I am comparing the situations?
What can I do/say?
Does it make me a selfish person if I'm worrying about how it will make me feel too if it drags up my m/c emotions?

Sarah
xXx

I would be thankful that the people I was sharing such a day with were able to understand my pain which you can having lost your own little ones.

The number of weeks gestation is kind of irrelevant - it is still a lost baby and generates the same emotions - I would use this oppotunity to grieve together for what you have both lost and to support each other - I think you'll probably find a lot of strength in each other which you can't get from anywhere else.

Hope it all goes OK

Lisa x