Miscarriage at 8 weks- me too

Hello,

Just reading through the posts has made my day more bearable, knowing other have/are sadly going through this horrid situation has made me stop and think about what to do next.

My partner and I have been trying for a year to get pregnant after a miscarriage last year around this time, the pregnancy that time was 10 weeks.

Due to my partner working away last week we waited till his return home Sunday PM with great excitement as we'd planned on doing the pregnancy test Monday AM. This all went to plan,as we thought the test was positive. I had had been "feeling" pregnant and loving my new improved boobs, was full of energy and and spent days looking at what to eat,drink, classes to attend and the usual Internet searches of what our bean looks like and what's to come etc. I have dates marked out on our calender so I felt pretty confident about being 8 weeks pregnant so attended my GP on the Monday to get the ball rolling.

I noticed a slight bleeding Monday AM, on chatting with my GP about this he thought best I attend my local early pregnancy clinic for an early scan(8week). GP was great, he called the EPU at the local hospital to be told nothing available till Thurs.
Needless to say in the evening the bleeding got heavier , craps set in and on a visit to the loo, due to bleeding,I knew it was all over. I called the hospital to be put through to the delivery ward, the midwife advised a visit to the A&E, what a waist of time that was! After an hours wait, I know that's not too long for an A&E but when you have idiots thinking its funny being there being seen ahead of you to then be told "there is nothing we can do but wait till your scan Thurs" it is infuriating.

I am now very confused, the doctor I seen at A&E said "expect heavy bleeding, clotting for up to a week" but I had spot bleeding Monday daytime then heavy bleeding Monday PM, and very little since.
The miscarriage I mentioned above (10week) was very similar, bleeding for an hour or so, then nothing but a scan confirming the miscarriage can it be that quick and why is this happening!?!

I had a still born baby 14yrs ago, a miscarriage last year and another last night. should I stop trying? how and what can deter whither I can have a child. I'm now wondering if I have had more than two miscarriages as I've been "late" a few time in the past year, and if a miscarriage is a few hours bleeding in my case has there been more. Is it fair to keep trying? And at what point do you stop? I'm almost 41yrs old. I feel so confused and let down by the people ie doctors who should be helping us to understand this unfortunate circumstance. I'm angry at what my head is thinking- why should we not have a baby when there are drug,drink addicts, child abusers in one way or another all being allowed this amazing gift but not us, why?

Life today feels so surreal, wish it wasn't!

Hey x

Just a quick note to send both of you a very big hug...............x
Please dont give up and if you think there may be a problem make sure you get seen and tested...just really push for tests. Ignore the GP they can be just lazy and give you the text book waffle...go further.

Take care,

Lou (2 early miscarriages and one lovely 14 month old daughter) xx

Thank you

Hi,

thank you for your reply.
I went for the scan this AM to confirm all had miscarried, as we thought it had. The nurse was very helpful and has agreed to arranged the relevant tests. I'm hoping to have them done this Monday just waiting for a call to confirm times.

Feeling more positive about things knowing there are others in my shoes, thank you again and well done on your 14 month old daughter!

x

Keep trying!!

Although this is my first miscarriage your experience at the hospital is very similar!! Your comment about people having babies with addictions is exactly how i felt. I have spent 7 years working with people with alcohol and drug addictions up until 8 weeks ago when I miscarried, since then I have not returned to work and don't plan to. I know that I can't blame what happened to me on anyone else but it doesn't stop me from feeling extremely unhappy about it.

I had a good cry last night when my partner came home it's really only been 4 weeks since I stopped bleeding but the type of person I am I expected to have picked myself up again by now! I've found personally that I'm having real problems in getting my mind to realise that I'm no longer pregnant, have to pinch myself sometimes. Now I'm focused on trying again asap, I disagree with you, me personally wouldn't stop trying until my doctor made it very clear that I would be wasting my time and i'd still try and prove them wrong. 41, your in your prime!! I'd say go to your G.P who can send you for tests, least that way you will know and can plan your next step.

I have lots of faith, it'll happen for us soon.

x

I agree

hi, goodness me does my heart go out to you!

It's good that you had a cry with your partner and when is the right time to pick yourself up?
The right time is when it happens and it will, just let it happen and don't be so hard on you for letting yourself take the time you need!

It must be difficult having to deal with the miscarriage and the work you do, I empathise with you.
It takes an incredibly strong person to carry out your work, I studied criminal psychology to the third year. Sadly, I wasn't a strong enough character to "deal" with the issues in case studies and felt I should choose another career path.
The work you do invaluable, the babies you mention need people like you and I am humbled.
I hope one day you'll return to work.

I did go to the doctor this AM, he was helpful in reminding me I'm almost 41yrs and that he has no doubt that my age is a huge contributing factor. He also reminded me that if I am to keep trying there is an increased risk of Downs after the age of 43yrs.
One piece of advise he gave me that did help lots is-
1-until 3 months its a collection of cells/organ and not to think as it as our baby
2- don't see a pregnancy as such until I'm 3-4 months , I spoke with my partner about this and it seams to have helped him too.
It seams cold but it oddly made me stop and think. He has advised we let nature take its course (god I hate hearing that again and again) if I miscarry again he'll send me for relevant test, he wasn't willing to do this until I had three recorded miscarriages.

We have come to the conclusion(today anyway, things change so quickly in an emotional mind) that we will try a further two times then stop, its simply too difficult to go through this again and again.

I will keep things crossed for all of us hoping one day dreams do come true x

Bless you

Keep in contact and let me know how your doing x