Campaign for uk standards on the treatment of miscarriages

I'm Abi and I'm starting this Campaign for better treatment of women suffering miscarriages following the lack of empathy and neglect that I experienced from my local hospital. My story is on the end of this post (sorry it's so lengthy).

I need your help to highlight this issue - and I'm going to take it as far as I can go.

Whether you have had a miscarriage or not, I hope you will want to support this cause - it's what every woman deserves.

If you've had a miscarriage that turned into an even more traumatic experience at the hands of your local hospital or whether you feel your situation was dealt with professionally and with genuine care, let me know. I want to promote these positive stories and highlight these negative ones (anonymously unless requested otherwise) so that everyone is given an acceptable level of treatment.

My aim is to take this complaint as high as it can go, to hopefully introduce a procedure and standards for hospitals to follow when dealing with women suffering miscarriages.

Below is what I think should be standard care to all women

1)Miscarriages should be treated as an emergency. Meaning being prioritised through A&E.

2)All professionals need to be trained in compassionate and empathetic communication, they should be advised on the effects that losing a baby has on women and therefore would be less likely to cause any upset.

3)Appropriate waiting/treatment rooms thats not in the Childrens ward, or the Anti-natal clinic. Women suffering a miscarriage or a suspected miscarriage should be separated from pregnant women having routine checks, and from women wishing to terminate their unwanted pregnancy.

4)Scans should be given to all women suspecting a miscarriage the same day. Portable scanning units with trained staff should be available in all A&E departments. Failing that, there should be at least 1 scanning unit per county ie North Tyneside/South Tyneside etc and it should be open 0800-2200 at least, preferably 24hours for appointments, referals, and emergencies.

5)Every woman should be entitled to choose how she wishes her miscarriage to conclude by surgery, through medication to start things off, or naturally. These options should be fully explained with timescales, what they involve and risks by trained professionals.

6)Waiting times for medical or surgical management of a confirmed miscarriage for those who choose it should be within a reasonable time scale of 1-2 days to reduce the risk of the trauma of going through a natural miscarriage.

7)Patients having a miscarriage at hospital should be kept regularly informed what is happening, what to expect next, what the hospital is going to do for them. (The staff should also know this!). Women choosing to miscarry naturally at home should be told what to expect, and should be told to look out for any worrying signs that would indicate that they should attend hospital.

8)Medical jargon should be more sensitively renamed - not to refer to the miscarriage as a spontaneous/missed ABORTION, and Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception are both insensitive.

9) More information and advice to be given after the miscarriage regarding both the physical and emotional side councelling to be routinely offered with an initial appointment arranged within 2 weeks of the miscarriage if wanted by the patient.

10)A follow-up reassurance scan to be given to all women before 6 weeks after the miscarriage for piece of mind and to confirm that there are no further complications.

11)A histology conducted by the hospital should include the option of a sex test as this can help with the grieving process even if it an option that requires additional payment and the results of the histology should be givin within 6 weeks of the miscarriage for closure. (understandably this would depend on the products of the miscarriage and the stage of the pregnancy).

12)Further blood tests should be routine including those for chlamydia/lupus, antiphospholid syndrome and blood clotting disorders.

13)Options for the disposal of the baby/foetus should be provided, it should not be treated as clinical waste and should not just be routinely disposed of.

14) Having to ring around to cancel your own pregnancy related appointments shouldnt be necessary, it should be automatically done.

Please help by joining and supporting my group by posting your comments and stories. A miscarriage is so much of a traumatic experience without having to deal with knowing you didn't receive the best possible care. Help make sure that this doesn't happen to anyone else.

Thank You

Abi XxXxX



My story.

I'm Abi, the creator of this group and here's why I'm doing this. I lost my baby at 16 weeks ago when I was 12 weeks pregnant.

I'm posting this hoping for as many replies as possible following a complaint I made to my local hospital. Basically I received some of the poorest care possible.

I went into hospital on a Tuesday with bleeding and was told that I wouldn't be able to have a scan until Friday unless I was "Bleeding to death" - that's a quote.
On Wednesday I booked in for an emergency scan with a different hospital which told me that my baby had no heartbeat and had died at 7 weeks 5 days. I was told I could go into hospital on the Saturday to take the tablet to empty my womb, however on the Thursday I went into labour. When I arrived at A&E I was told to wait for 3 1/2 hours in the waiting room and it wasn't until I lost a lot of blood in one go that they put me in a bed (IN THE CHILDREN'S WARD!!!)

After waiting for around 10-15 minutes for pain relief I was given morphene and the pain of my contractions lessened. However one nurse stood me up to wipe the blood away after thinking that my contractions had finished and that was when my baby was born - when I think of my baby now I don't think about the scan pictures that I have, the mental image I have is of my baby hitting the floor.

Eventually I was transfered to a different hospital as no one could deal with me there (after being there for around 5-6 hours, surely they would have known that when I got there). My baby was taken away for a histology and I was kept in over night at the other hospital.

I asked a nurse to know the sex of my baby to which I was told "I'm sure that can be arranged" - to give me some closure and to help me grieve, 14 weeks after my miscarriage I was given the result of the histology and this test wasn't done. I would have paid privately to know as it was important to me. Now I'll never know and I'm struggling to cope mentally.

After 2 months of feeling that something wasn't right with me I have finally had a scan on my uterus that has told me that my left ovary is abnormal which has left me in a further state of depression.

I am still suffering depression and anxiety following the way I was dealt with - I have had trouble grieving for my baby due to my ongoing complaint as I have had no closure.


After complaining to the hospital about my situation and the lack of care and empathy from staff I now have a meeting this coming Tuesday 4th August with the Modern Matron and the Operational Service Manager to discuss my complaint. By doing this I aim my complaint to go further to establish a nationwide agreed proceedure on how women are dealt with when suffering a miscarriage, ie I want it to be treated as an emergency (it's not a broken arm or leg afterall) - and I want a scan to be given to all women before 4 weeks after their miscarriage for the piece of mind that everything is back to normal - and if it's not at least it's better to know sooner rather than later as things can hopefully be done to make it right. I would also like for women to officially be given the option of a sex test during the histology (obviously this depends on how far along the pregnancy was, and whether it is actually possible to conduct one on the products of the miscarriage) even if it means having to pay for one, as long as the option is given.

I would really appreciate anyone who has suffered any sort of neglect at hospital relating to a miscarriage to post a reply on here. Even if you received brilliant care infact, that you think should be made standard, I want to take your story (anonymous of course) with me to this meeting, and again to people higher up until something is done to lessen the pain, stress and anxiety of going through such a traumatic and upsetting ordeal.

Please help me in my aim to obtain better treatment for women suffering a miscarriage by posting a reply, pass the message to your family and friends too if they have any stories.

Thank You

Abi X

Hi abi,

I wish I could say I found your story shocking but it's so commonplace to be treated this way nothing surprises me anymore. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I'm sorry for all of us actually my story is not much different from everyone else who's replied and I'm so glad you've found the strength to make a stand, we all deserve better. I've had 3 miscarriages and was treated with the same callous disregard every time so this is something that matters a great deal to me and I will be spreading the word and getting as many signatures as I possibly can, I've signed already. Thankyou for doing this, lets hope we can save other women the misery we've suffered.

Good luck and I hope you find some peace, I can say from experience it does get easier with time, you never forget or stop loving and missing the babies you lost but it does get easier to live with. I never know if this info helps and gives hope or rubs salt in the wounds so I'm hoping the former but after losing my first 3 babies and thinking I would never be a mum I now have a 10 month old daughter, miracles do happen so never give up hope.

Take care,
Clare xxx

Feeling empty

Hi Abi,

I was appauled to read your post and the treatment that you received and i can fully understand and support your campaign. I had my first miscarriage 3 years ago where i experienced a missed miscarriage. I went for my 12 week scan to be told that my baby had died approx 2-3 weeks earlier. I decided to have a d&c as i couldnt cope with dealing with anything else. Overall the treatment i received was fine, b ut when it was time for me to go up to theatre for my d&c i was told i had to wait in a room on my own upstairs till they were ready and my husband could not wait with me. I was waiting in a room next to the delivery suite and had to listen to the nursing staff discussing which women had gone into labour etc this obviously was the last thing i needed. After my operation the nurse asked my husband and i when we were likely to start trying for another baby!!! Unbelievable, i was still trying to come to terms with the fact that i had lost my baby the last thing i was thinking about was getting pregnant again!
I suffered my second miscarriage yesterday after bleeding and excruiating backache and abdominal pain, this time i wasnt offered an alternative to letting nature take its course. The nurse at the EPU told me that the baby could only be very tiny and i wouldnt pass very much. How wrong she was. I know these people deal with this on a daily basis but i think they really need to be more sensitive. Unless you have ever been through a miscarriage you cannot begin to understand how it feels to be told your baby is dead. So many people say oh well it was very early on, wasnt really a baby just a bunch of cells, but not to me. The moment i saw the positive result on the pregnancy test that was my baby and nothing will ever take away the feelings of loss, anger and complete emptiness i feel now. And i now have to wait for another miscarriage before they will do any investigations, obvioulsy losing 2 babies is not enough i have to possibly endure this pain one more time before they look into things. The one thing that i find really insensitve is that women who have to go through losing a baby and possibly having a d&c etc have to endure this in the same unit that pregnant women are having their check ups, for me that felt like a huge slap in the face...like i dont feel inadequate enough!
I hope that you are listened to by the powers that be and that finally women who are going through this devastating experience are given the respect, sensitivity and care that they deserve. Good luck!

Vicky x

Hi abi

I have pasted my story for you below which I posted on the forum a few weeks ago now. I am very interested in how your campaign is going. I have had the following things happen that have made things so much worse:

1. Whilst waiting for my operation a nurse was stood a few feet away from me telling all the other nurses about how she is suffering from morning sickness and moaning about how much weight she has put on already (in an early pregnancy ward where all women are suffering some form of pregnancy trauma)

2. I have since had the midwife call me to "rearrange my appt" and a letter from the hospital to rearrange my scan because there hasn't been any communication about me losing the baby even though I was assured I wouldn't have to ring around and cancel my own appt's

3. I haven't got any follow up appt's or was I offered any counselling which I would have accepted, I really feel like you are sent out on a limb without any after care or support

4. I wish I knew the results of the histology, I don't even know whether my baby was still in my womb or whether it had ever developed!

Please update on how you are getting on. I hope you are finding a way to cope with your grief.

JJ xx

The most traumatic week of my life!
Hi all

Wish I wasn't posting such a miserable post but I am sat at home alone for the first time since getting back from hospital this weekend and need to share my story.

I got married in April and was delighted to find out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, it was something we had been planning for a year and we were so excited. Last saturday (10 days ago) I had a small bleed and went to a&e where they took blood tests and booked me in for a scan last Tues. I stopped bleeding and had no pain so was reasonably calm and thought things would be ok but the scan showed a sac which was way too small for the amount of pregnancy hormones and no heartbeat. I then had to spend 3 nights in hospital as they thought it must be ectopic as I was still very much pregnant with strong pregnancy hormones in my blood tests. During this time I was put on tamazipan as I was struggling to cope with the differing opinions from the doctors and the fear of surgery and as they kept telling me I could be two hours from death if the pregnancy ruptured!

In the end they put a camera in on Friday, didn't find the baby in my tubes luckily but had to do a dnc as the pregnancy was obviously not viable.

I am now getting over the physical element although I am still very sore but the week I had last week and the fact that I have lost a baby (my first) is so much to deal with.

I am (as everyone seems to) having to deal with stupid comments like "you'll be ok it's just your hormones" and "enjoy your time off!" etc and I am getting to the point where I don't want to talk to anyone apart from my best friend who lost a baby last year and of course my amazing husband.

I am off to the docs this afternoon to get signed off for next week too as the hospital only gave me a week and I am concerned that he won't sign me off and say that I should just get back to normal. I know that as soon as I go back my boss will just want me to get back to it as she isn't very maternal or sympathetic so I need to be 100% before I go and feel I need a another week to do this.

I know that it was just one of those things and we will try again as soon as we feel ready but I am feeling extremely low and would love to hear from people who may have been through a similar experience.

Hi abi

Thanks so much for starting this really important work. I had a m/c at 8 weeks in Feb this year, it was my first pregnancy. The whole experience was made worse by having a male doctor that didn't communicate what was happening and the emotions of the whole thing. I tried to access counseling but had to wait three months for an appointment and when I got one it was with a male counsellor. I'm still waiting....

I'd love to help, if I can do anything please let me know.

2 miscarriages this year

Hi Abi

The treatment that you had sounds shocking. I had a miscarriage in January this year and found the treatment pretty shocking by the hospital. No one seemed to offer any sympathy, they would just come in and ask me if I wanted any paracetomol. I stayed over night in hospital and someone came in and kept asking me if I was going to get dressed, I didn't wanted to get dressed, I'd just had a miscarriage, I wanted to stay in bed. The first doctor I saw was heavily pregnant, just to rub salt in the wound. I had to hang around hospital all day waiting to have the scan, I had to have a full bladder but they couldn't give me any time scales on when I would actually have it, they just kept saying "not long now". after the scan I then had to wait 4 hours just for the doctor to confirm I'd had a miscarriage and could go home, when it was blatently obvious to me the night before when I was bleeding and all the pregnancy stuff like the gestation sac came out. I asked the doctor how long I should take off work, and she said I could return to work the following day if I wanted. It was only when one of the nurses was removing the needle thing they stick in your arm that I was asked if I wanted a leaflet on miscarriage. that's the only support I got offered, a leaflet.

Anyway, that was back in January I found out I was pregnant again at the beginning of July. Things seemed to be going better this time as I had morning sickness and I read that you're less likely to miscarry if you have sickness. I had a really bad pain in my side though about 3 weeks ago, it was agonising, so I went into casualty. They thought it could be an ectopic pregnancy. As it was Sunday I had to wait until the following day to have the scan. That showed a healthy heart beat and that I was 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant. The pain turned out to be a urine infection. The staff then were lovely, there was one nurse in particular who came in with me when I had the scan and had looked after me the evening before.

Since then everything had been going well and I had started to tell a few people as I couldn't keep it secret any longer. On Friday (14th) we went for our 12 week scan which we were very excited about. I was deverstated when they told me that there was no heart beat. The measurement was 10 weeks 5 days, so it had only died the day before the scan. I got taken into a room and someone explained the options to me. I decided to go for the operation as I don't want to have to wait for up to 3 weeks for the bleeding to start, and I'd rather not seeing it coming out of me. I'm going for the operation tomorrow, not looking forward to that. The treatment this time around has been Ok so far but I think it just depends on the staff on duty at the time.

just wanted to share my story with someone, has been awful 48 hours and not over yet.

Hi!

Having gone through 2 m/c this yr I know how devastated you must both be. Katie557 I am thinking of you at this awful time. The only thing i could say is that things obviously weren't right, imagine if you had had to make a decision as to whether you would keep the baby. Its very very cruel that you got that far and see your baby but no heartbeat. Please take care of yourself. I hope you start to feel a bit more positive soon, you will never forget of course, but like i have to keep telling myself.... we WILL get our babies when the time is right.

Abi - It is a disgrace that you were treated with so little respect. I am SO ANGRY on your behalf. Best of luck with taking this as far as you can. You are doing something really worthwhile albeit challenging. I hope you also get your BFP soon. xx

Lots of hugs to you both.

Ems. xx

Campaign for uk standards on the treatment of miscarriages

Hi Ladies

So so sorry to hear all of your stories about losing your little ones, I know how hard it can be - I'm still suffering myself.

As far as the Campaign is going, I'm just waiting for my petition to go up online (7th September). The only thing I can ask from all of you is to spread the word. I have a group on Facebook (Campaign for UK standards on the treatment of miscarriages) and I'm regularly on discussion forums- sofeminine.co.uk / mumsnet.com / netdoctor.co.uk.

I will need 500 signatures on the online petition for it to be taken seriously - I'll post the link here when it's up and running.

I'm not asking for much - All I want is for every woman to be given a decent, respectable and acceptable level of treatment. It's not expensive and it's not difficult to do - it's just what everyone deserves.

Abi X

Petition link

http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/miscarriage-care/

Here's the link ladies, please sign it to show your support for the introduction of UK standards of care for the treatment of miscarriages! And please spread the word!

Thank You

Abi XxXxX

My experience

Hi, I just thought I would share my experience with you.

I found out I was pregnant with my first child in July this year. I went for my 12 week scan on 1st September. I was so excited to see my baby and we couldn't wait to go round to our parents with the picture after the scan to surprise them. I was told during the scan (very bluntly and with no compassion from the male sonographer) that my baby had no heartbeat. We were absolutely devastated. The sonographer then threw some kitchen towel at me and told me to wipe off the ultrasound gel and we were then whisked out of the room quickly,passing all the happy pregnant people on the way and told to wait in a side room for the Dr to see us. We sat there for 10 - 15 minutes feeling numb until the Dr came down. She told us that our baby had died at 8 weeks and 6 days and asked us if we wanted to see the scan picture. At this point, I was crying uncontrollably and couldn't face seeing the picture. She then told me "this won't happen again next time"! How can she be so sure? She then briefly explained the options available which was to a) go home and wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally; b) have a medically induced miscarriage or c) have a D&C. We were then told to go to a ward in the main hospital.

When we got to the main hospital I was taken to a cutained off area to wait for another Dr to see me. I have to say that the Dr was lovely and explained my options to me again. We opted for a medically induced miscarriage but they couldn't fit me in until the following Monday (6 days later)! I then had some blood taken and was given a leaflet explaining what would happen. At no point did anyone tell me the pain I would experiece during a medically induced miscarriage or how long I would bleed for after. If I had known, I would have probably opted for a D&C.

The following Saturday I was told to come into the hospital to take an oral tablet which would start to loosen everything up and then 48 hours later on the Monday I would have 4 tablets inserted behind the cervix to start the process. I arrived on the Monday, had the tablets inserted and was then sat in a chair, yes a chair, not even a bed with a curtain around me. Well, I have never felt pain like it in my life. I can say that it was the worst experience of my life. Within half an hour of having the tablets inserted I was in agony and didn't know what to do with myself. The nurses at the hospital were lovely but they were very busy and kept forgetting about me. I was in so much pain, my boyfriend asked them if I could have some pain relief. They gave me paracetemol which didn't even touch it. I then started feeling sick and threw up three times. Again, no nurse seemed to notice so my boyfriend went and told them and they offered me anti sickness medicine which would be injected into my leg. This worked but I was still in agony from the pain of the contractions so asked for more pain relief. They then brought me stronger pain relief and this seemed to help a lot. I don't think I saw a nurse for a few hours after that. During this time I was having to regularly visit the bathroom to use a bed pan which would be inspected to see if the baby had come out. This was awful as well. I dreaded going as I couldn't bear the thought of seeing my baby. A few hours passed and nothing seemed to happen, just very heavy bleeding but no baby. I was given another oral tablet to help things along I started to feel more pain so asked for more paracetemol. I never received these! At about 3pm after being at the hospital in pain since 8am I was taken to see the Dr who examined me to see if the baby was visible and if so they would pull it out. Fortunately, the baby was there so I didn't see it. I think if I had I would have been scarred for life. I was then left in my waiting area where a nurse eventually came to see me to tell me everything was out and I could have something to eat and then go home. I think I must have waited another hour until I got a sandwich and then another 45 minutes after that before me and my boyfriend had had enough and he went and found someone to discharge me. The nurse who had looked after me all day had gone on a break so another nurse discharged me. She didn't seem to have a clue what she was talking about. She told me I might have some light spotting for the next few days but then it should clear up. Light spotting!!! What a joke. I was given no information about the after effects of the miscarriage, no follow up appointments or scans and not offered any councelling. I was just sent home with no idea what had happened to my baby? Was it just binned??

Sorry this message is so long. I honestly wouldn't say that the nurses treated me badly but they did forget me a lot and didn't explain the process in enough detail. I was given no indication of when it is safe to try and conceive again and it is only from going on forums like this one that I have found out valuable information that should be routinely given to women in this situation.

My experience

i am currently going through a miscarriage and feel totally alone. i thought i was 10 weeks preg but my scan on mon showed my baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks.i started bleeding on the sat rung all numbers in my pregnancy notes but no-one could help me coz it was the weekend and i was only 10wks gone.i rung my local primary care and had to beg to be seen. the doc said there was nothing they could do except book me in for an eergency scan on the monday which confirmed the baby wasn't as big as expected.they did give us false hope as they mentioned i might not be as far along as i thought but i new my baby was in trouble.they told me to go home and rest and wait for 10 weeks when they would book me in for another scan to see what was going on.i new i had lost my baby but they were still giving us false hope.yesterday i passed the sac and today i passed more sack and baby.the pain i have gone through can only be described as labour. they didn't prepare me for the pain or what would come out of me.No=one has been in contact to see how i am and if things are progressing or if the bleeding has stopped.i feel totally alone thanks to the good nhs.i have never been through this before and i'm scared about what is happening to me.i am really disapointed i thought ny midwife may have been in contact just to check on me.work have been good i have all this week off but just feel i can't go back just yet i may feel different next week but i feel so up and down.i feel i wanna lock myself away but have 3 other children i need to see to.i feel i don't want them out of my sight i want them with me all the time. i've lost my baby.i would have been 11 weeks tomoz.and people we just finding out about my pregnancy now i'm having to tel them sorry i'm not pregnant anymore.