Found out at scan thursday

I guess like so many women, I went for first scan at 12 wks thurs with husb. 1st pregnancy. And there was no heartbeat. We're so stunned it's incomprehensible. Apparently it ended at 10 wks. Have to decide on medical or surgical management for mon or tues. I'm so scared that I'll end up unable to try again. And the hospital have freaked me out with the risks of d&c and even mentioned hysterestomy which to a couple who thought a baby was on the way yesterday is just a nightmare. Yesterday I was holding it together but tonight I've gone to pieces.Where do you go from here?

My experince tablet and d and c

sorry 4 ur loss ,,what did you opt 4 tablet or surgery ,,, i had same 12 week scan baby had no heart beat ,i was offererd medical mangment or surgery i went for the tablet on the sunday passed baby that evening,,,,,this was awful and no one should have to go through this alone,,,,went back to hospital next day this was monday as they wanted to see evteything that passed . told me all was ok ,,on the friday had bleeding ,went to hospital they sent me back home ,i was fine and bleeding had stopped,,then sunday rushed back in with very heavy bleeding and large clots , they said i needed d and c ,SORRY DONT want to worry anyone, but i wish i just had the d and c in the first place , but evrey one is diffrent ,,,,,,if d and c opted you will wake up it will all be over , without you having to deal with the whole process,,i dont think i will ever be able to erase my memorey of what i saw,, my heart really goes out to u xxxx

Next steps

I couldn't face the d&c. So I had the first tablet yesterday and go into hosp tomorrow. Only cramps so far so I can see a d&c happening in any case. I'm just trying to focus on positive stories. The sister I saw yesterday said her daughter is 13wks now after 2 mcs and she herself had 2 mcs. And my cousin miscarried her first and now has 2 boys and my aunt her first and she has 3 boys. I wish this wasn't such a secret pain and yet I can't face telling my friends and family so I'll perpetuate the silence.

Hugs

What you are going though is so hard. There should!! be a mw that specialises in bereavement at the hospital.

Obviously for the baby to arrive in its own time is better for your body in many ways. DnC can damage the uterus etc - information on a post pregnancy hysterectomy is here - http://pph.a-little-wish.co.uk you are fortunate a hyster has been mentioned as often it is kept a secret!!

It is a matter of information gathering and if you would like to chat with me, feel free

hugs xx

Thx

Thanks for the reply. I was awake most of the night and have decided to go for medical management instead. I know it will be more drawn out and probably more traumatic but I think it is the right choice for me.

Next steps 2

Home from medical management a few hours ago. I started 10.30 yesterday and they let me home at lunchtime. It was actually fine. 2 paracetamol for the whole thing. Nothing seemed to happen and 2 hours after first dose most came away. My husband and I saw a little bit and that actually helped. The foetus was so far away from what I had dreamed about it was only ever a pipe dream this time. I must have miscarried much earlier than 10 weeks. I had to stay overnight until they were happy that I had passed everything I needed to. I need to move on now. The nurse assisting me has had 8!!! miscarriages and then had 2 sons and the gynae mcd first time and now has a son. In fact she didn't even wait for her next period. She thinks the body overcompenstaes in the following months for the fact it has just lost one. She said it's more odd if you don't miscarry. It still hurts and I feel empty. I will stay much more emotionally guarded next time. And there will be a next time. I need to stop looking at these forums now but I just wanted to pass on my med mgmt experience. Good luck to all of us.

We r all with you

im very pleased that part is over for you and good to hear is was over in acouple of hours ,x and what your post says about your gynae has given me so much hope for myself ,as ive been trying to find info on when you can ttc after mm , ,wish you all the luck for further pregnancy ,,,,,,,, and evrey one else xxxxx also this forum has helped me realise its not only happend to me ,we are all with you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx