I can't believe it. I have actually booked to have a termination next wednesday. I'm distraught. I don't want to do it. My partner lives 250miles away and does not want me to have it. I live at home and neither do my parents. So I have no choice. Im so scared. I know that I will regret it.

How do I get over this feeling and be strong. My partner said we will get through it together but at the moment I cant even bare to talk or look at him.

Help?!!! xxx

no one has the right to push you into this its your life ,please think again im not anti abortion but you are doing it for the wrong reasons ,from your post i get the feeling you want this baby,dont do it to please anyone else ! two years ago i had a abortion i already have one child and have been with her dad 8 years he didnt want another child so i did what he wanted because i thought it was best but i did want the baby i didnt tell him that though ,we have never told any one and he untill recently never spoke about it so i carried the guilt alone untill this summer and i broke down unable to live with it any more ,we spoke about it for ages and he feels awfull for the pain he has caused me ,i wanted out of the relationship because it kills me that he put me through that but i have my daughter to think of and in all other ways my oh is a fantastic man and great father ,so we are now trying for our second baby not to replace the one we aborted but to move on and make us stronger together im lucky we are close and have been able to save the relationship ,althoug i have told him i can never forgive him for what he made me do and you too will never be able to forgive your oh or your parents ,my advice for you would be to think again and if you want the baby keep it ,you will be suprised at how many people will come round once the baby is born and if on the off chance they dont you can and you will cope because thats what mums do best ! ! i wish i had had some advice when i was in your situation xxx take care

firstly can i say o my goodness you are in a truely awful position, and im sure everyone thinks they are doing the best but who for? i have 2 children my first i was only 17 and my oh was 25 wed known eachother 3 months wedidnt know what was in the future but i couldnt do that to my baby and i knew id try my best, i did keep him and hes 4 now (ok i wish i hadnt drank so much lucozade hes slightly hyper) and hes so special to me hes my little boy, my whole family disowned me and i was on my own while my oh was working away for the whole pregnancy but i did it and you know what my family were the first to visit in hospital the day i had him full of appologies. i also did it again with my daughter my oh and i seperated but got back together when she was 3 months old.
which is when i fell pregnant again i knew in my heart i didnt want another baby and i had an abortion, it was an awful thing go thru but even now i know it was right. im now 19 weeks with our 3rd child and oh wanted me to abort as i was at college and due to start uni but at the last minute i pulled out my threads are on here somewhere if you want to read them. but i had my 20 week scan today and the little monster wouldnt stop wiggling. im still unsure it was the right thing to do but i knew abortion was wrong this time yes its hard but you suprise yourself with the things your capable off, i just look at my 2 and cant believe i made them.

as for your oh im not suprised you cant talk to him i was the same your being pushed into this, its your choice hun, tell him let you have time to think and have a few days to just arrange your thoughts, you will have to live with your decision forever so please make sure its the right one.
xxx

Hi Lillycat

You have no support or encouragement to have this little baby, only your own conviction that you do not want to abort, but want to keep your child. But this is enough.

It is really terrible that your parents are trying to pressure you into this, and your boyfriend.

The problem with 'going through this together' with your boyfriend is that you will not respect him afterwards, and will surely hate him for not standing up for the life of HIS child.

So if you go through with this termination, your relationship with this man is surely over aswell. I am sure you will be quite dead inside, and will suffer greatly. If you think you are suffering now, this is nothing compared to what you will feel afterwards.

I dont know how much you love this man, but for the sake of your relationship, ignore his wishes now and follow your heart. Men can get very scared when faced with an unexpected pregnancy. Their first answer is often to abort, but this is a test for you now, hold tough and cling on to this unborn child for dear life.
Maybe you will still be toghethr afterwards, maybe not. There are no guarantees in this life, yet there is a good chance that the father of this child will stick by ye.

We live in a strange society where we do not care about the unborn. You know that it is against every fibre in your body to kill the little life inside of you. This is motherhood, and is the most natural thing in the world. The most unnatural thing would be to tear this little life out of you.

There are refuges where you can go to be left in peace to have your child. There is always a way. Just be strong and fight for this way. Dont let everyone pressure you into abortion. They think it is best but you KNOW better. You really do.

You can always cancel this appointment, you can stop it right up to the last second. Dont let anybody tell you otherwise.

Love and a big hug
Siobhan

I guess your parents are trying to protect you, but they really do not know what is best. When you have this child they will also fall in love with it. It happens all the time. I recently got an email from a lady who said that her mother apologised to her afterwards for trying to get her to abort, and totally loves her 8 year old grandchild now.

Thank you very much for all your replies. You are helping. I'm still so confused though. I love my partner but either way he has made it very clear that he will leave me. He doesn't see us surviving with a baby, the stress and strain of it too much as we live so far apart. And of course if I abort he will find it difficult to get over it. It's all about him. But i know if I have this baby, he will fight for it and possibly leave me with nothing. I touch my tummy all the time.... I can feel my body changing. I don't want it to end. I wouldn't be able to cope on my own. My parents have made it clear they will throw me out if i have it but show me no support for aborting it. I'm so alone. I wish i knew what to do.

So its all about him huh? Well actually it is not. It is all about the little baby inside of you, and he will just have to grow up fast. If you abort you will beat yourself up for the rest of your life saying,

but I could have moved near him
but he could have gotten a job near me
but we could have worked it out
but
but
but

Please dont go there.

You will be able to cope on your own, you will be fighting for two people, not just yourself so your motivation would be even stronger. There is social welfare support for people in your situation. OK so it wont be the high life, but at least you will have your baby and your sanity intact.

People are upping the threats to you, your parents will kick you out, your boyfriend will never see you again, if you have it he will take it away from you. Call me nuts, but I see this as a sure sign that you are doing the right thing. The right path to take will not look like the easiest at first, but it is the best in the long term.

You are being put throgh the Test dear Lillycat6, and this test is for the life of your baby, your sanity and happiness for the rest of your life.

Get yourself some crisis pregnancy counselling, and make some arrangements to move out of your parents house now if necessary. At least this will show your parents that you are serious. If you PM me the town you live nearest I will do my best to find you a counsellor in your area.

You can pass this Test with flying colours, so take heart and have courage and tell the others to ... off in the nicest possible way, remember its the life of your baby they are trying to destroy.

Love

Siobhan.