Your sister said some really nasty things to you, which she had no right to say. Sometimes siblings are like that, there are so many other agendas and things like jealousy and rivalry that makes them say an do things which are not logical and sometimes mean and nasty. She cant very well sit there cuddling her baby and tell you to go abort yours! I am a bit shocked at this to be honest.

I can only urge you to keep that promise you made to yourself about not aborting your baby in your 20s. Let your baby be the motivation for you to work harder and smarter. You will be doing it for someone else you will love more than yourself, so it will be easier.

You know from bitter past experience that its a baby, and its not just any baby, its your baby. You are an adult now, so dont be swayed and blackmailed and forced into killing your own chid. You are a mom now, and you got to protect your child. Everyone else can go....jump in a lake!

Love
Siobhan

Hi.

The reason i feel the need to write on this message board is that ive just (yesterday) found out that i am pregnant and i think i maybe a couple of weeks. (Due to antibiotics for a kidney stone) and i feel utterly lost.

I'm going to be 21 next week and i have no idea what im going to do. I'm with the father and we've been together since we were 17 but we're not the most stable of relationships. He's also told me he doesn't want a child. I've only told him and my sister, who has a 5 month old baby herself and i know how hard it can be bringing up a child. Shes told me i should have an abortion because im immature and stupid for getting pregnant in the first place. And to be honest was utterly horrible. I have no support from either of them and feel resentful that my views are being ignored.

You see, ive had an abortion before, two years ago and it was alot easier to make that choice then. I felt much more confident about it but i think the who process gave me a reality check and made me realise what i had done. Even now i still feel bad about that choice but i dont regret it. I always told myself if i got pregnant in my twenties i would keep it. When i had my first it was a medical becuase i was only 5 weeks gone but it was so painful and i actually saw my foetus as it dropped out after i had been to the toilet. That image will haunt me for the rest of my life, i cry even thinking about that child. I hate it when people tell you "it isnt a child, its just a foetus" It looked like a little person to me. with eyes and hands and legs. it was very hard for me to get over. and still getting over

I don't want to tell my dad because i know he would go mad and tell me to have an abortion. Im only 20 and don't have a steady job and have nothing to offer my baby other than my eternal love and support but i know that my family will call me an idiot and make me feel asif i am making a mistake. Every time i tell myself 'an abortion is the right thing to do' i feel asif my heart is breaking. It such a hard thing to do and i am so confused.

Any advice would be heartfelty welcomed.

xx

i totally understand what your going thru when i discovered i was pregnant with my third everyone had something horrible to say and at 14 week when i was booked in for my medical abortion i just couldnt do it .... i had my first baby at 18 second at 20 i had a surgical top at 7 weeks when i was 21 and now im 23 this one was an accident but now 5 and half weeks away from my due date i cant wait and am over the moon ok im tired but me and the kids , oh and his family and everyone loves the baby already, conscidering they wanted me to abort its quite a u turn and they are even argueing over whos buying what lol. do what feels right hun. i have no job but am starting college in september if i can tear myself away from baby.
dont let anyone force you into it as youll regret it forever
ps listen to gaefish she helped me an awful lot

all the money in the world couldn't buy those two things! the things you have to offer your child. I was 21 when I fell pregnant, although I was married. However the father is constantly away for work, months on end and home for very short periods inbetween, even when he is here he does v little to help so I am basically in effect a married, single mom if that makes some sort of sense we also survive on his salary, which isn't all that much and in our country there is no support/grants, financial or otherwise to help with children. What I am trying to put across is that what you are facing having to deal with, although it seems scary, is managable. you will be able to cope!!! that beauty growing inside of you will fill you with a strength that you will never otherwise know.

you made a tragic mistake once and by your own admission you are still suffering the consequences thereof, please don't put yourself through that again, you or your beautiful baby. you are right, other people are heartless and cruel, it's not just a foetus, it's a perfect, beautiful formed and growing human being and it is here, it can't just be erased.

please seek help and support, there are centres and if you look them up they will walk this through with you until your family comes around...WHICH TENDS TO HAPPEN THE SECOND THAT THEY LAY EYES ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE ANGEL!!

I am here if there is anything I can do to help you in anyway, please contact me.
you know in your heart the right decision, it's why yourhear breaks every time you try to lie to yourself that abortion is the rightthing-abortion is NEVER the right thing, but you already know that from the pain you carry.

thinking of you and your precious little one,
take care
kerry xxx

The stark reality here is could you see another baby dropped in the toilet? I know it sounds harsh but you have been through it once. Could you honestly do it again?

You say you have nothing to offer a child accept 'eternal love and support'. Isn't that enough? I am married with 3 biological children and a stepson. We don't have much financially or materially but we love our kids with all our hearts and are always there for them. They are happy kids. I was a single mum for a good few years with my first child. We had nothing compared to many others but my child was happy and contented. He brought so much joy to my heart. He still does even though he is now a moody teenager!!! You say you are only 20. I was 19 with my first and I wouldn't change it. I am only 34 now so we are growing up together.

Ignore everyones negative opinions. They will come around when you are holding that beautiful baby in your arms. And if they don't then thats their loss. How would your sister feel looking at her baby now thinking she could have aborted it? I think people tend to 'detatch' themselves when it comes to abortion. The baby that is inside you now is a very unique individual. There will never been another one like him/her.

You can do this. We women are so strong. When it comes to our kids there is nothing we can't do!!!!

Hayley x

Your sister said some really nasty things to you, which she had no right to say. Sometimes siblings are like that, there are so many other agendas and things like jealousy and rivalry that makes them say an do things which are not logical and sometimes mean and nasty. She cant very well sit there cuddling her baby and tell you to go abort yours! I am a bit shocked at this to be honest.

I can only urge you to keep that promise you made to yourself about not aborting your baby in your 20s. Let your baby be the motivation for you to work harder and smarter. You will be doing it for someone else you will love more than yourself, so it will be easier.

You know from bitter past experience that its a baby, and its not just any baby, its your baby. You are an adult now, so dont be swayed and blackmailed and forced into killing your own chid. You are a mom now, and you got to protect your child. Everyone else can go....jump in a lake!

Love
Siobhan