I am sorry for your pain. I too am Catholic (revert), and all I can say about your fear of your 'friends' judging you is that everybody has done things in their lives that they regret, and that God alone, who is infinite Love and infinite Mercy will be your judge and my judge and their judge in the end. If they are truly Catholic they will know this.

Although you sound very resentful towards the whole Catholic ethos right now, and all you see arouond you are wealthy prosperous Faithful, know that Jesus Himself chose to came into this world penniless. He did not condemn the woman who was to be stoned to death, or the woman at the well (this gives ME great hope!).

As for popping out a sprog every 9 months, that is not what Catholic teaching is all about. Using NFP, which is beautiful and really works, you and your husband can choose to space your children when you have good reason. Financial limitations are considered a good reason, as is the fact that you have two little ones and feel stretched already.

In so far as coming to terms with this abortion, I think you and your husband could really benefit from a Rachel's Vineyard retreat. Google the term and you will find someplace near you. This allows you to grieve and mourn the loss of your precious child. If you try to bury this episode without dealing with it, it will just raise its ugly head again and again. Your marriage will only improve if you come to terms with this together, as the two of you were involved in this decision.

You both also have recourse to the beautiful Sacrement of Reconciliation (confession) where your burdens will be lifted. I was away from the church for 15 years, and my first confession after coming back was very difficult to do, but I felt so wonderful afterwards. I described it to my brother like a colonic for my head! (excuse the crassness) It was like 10lbs of weight I was carrying on my shoulders had been lifted. I can only recommend it.

I am sorry if this sounds like a commercial for 'Lets all be Catholic'. Please know that I do feel your pain (I am crying now) and that I will pray for God's Blessings for you and your little family.

Love
Siobhan

hi,

i had an abortion last monday on april 14, at 12 weeks pregnant. Every day since I`ve had it done, I cry after my baby. I wish I`ve never had that abortion. My baby was happily living in me for 3 months,and yet I went ahead with it. I regret it so much...

Here are the reasons behind my abortion: I already have a 22 month old son, I`m 25, married but unemployed. My husband works, but since I`ve stopped working,we`ve been so short on money. And living in todays world, it`s difficult to get a job if you`re pregnant. So, because of financial reasons, I realised I had to have a termination. The bigest mistake I`ve ever done. I wish I could just say like many of you: it was the right decision at the right time,I can`t! I don`t know if I`m ever gonna forgive myself.

We`ll definitely try for another baby as soon as I recover. But how can I stop longing for my lost baby, how can Ijust move on with my life?

If there`s anyone out there, with a similar experience, please help me.

Thanx

xxx

ditto!! i was the exactly the same about three years ago... i wont lie, youll think about it most prob the rest of your life and have giult there.. but in a way you done the right thing... at the moment your hormones are everywhere..


i had a abortion when i was 18.. i was engaged to a guy i was going to marry, had our own house, but i was unemplyed,,, i fell pregnant. and he said if i didnt have a abortion hel leave me. i was so scared bringing up a baby on my own. i knew i couldnt cope.. so i was blackmailed to have a abortion. he said if have a abortion hel stay with me and well be happy. me being young i went ahead with the abortion..


as stupid as i was i wanted a copy of the scan.


after the abortion i was SO low! i actually tried topping myself... i cried every night for my baby. feeling my belly.


but i promise you IT WILL GET BETTER!!


I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. AS HARD AS IT SOUNDS TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT AND CONCENTRATE ON YOUR LIL BABY AT THE MO. XX


IF YOU NEED TO TALK MSG ME AND ILL GIVE YOU MY HOTMAIL ADDY .XXX


CHIN UP BABY!!


IT WILL GET BETTER

There are lots of us here who know how you are feeling,I had my abortion three months ago now and I am just starting to feel normal. I to regreted it as soon as it was done, and just wanted to still be pregnant I cried everyday for two months thinking I would never get over it, now I think about it everyday but am coming to terms with it. It wouldn't have been fair on my two children to have had another.I would just say give yourself plenty of time to get over it as it's still early days and don't rush into getting pregnant again. Your hormones are all over the place at the moment and even if you got pregnant again you will never forget the one that was lost.I just wish they would give more counseling to women before hand as so many of us do this and regret it as we feel rushed to make a decision. Hope you start to feel better soon,
Michelle.

HI everyone,

just wanted to say thank you all for all your help and advises. I now kind of live life trying to forget what happened( like I could), but realise that on the other hand I`m just getting more and more depressed. Did the abortion trigger my depression? Or is it just hormones? Post-pregnancy hormones?
Living in a catholic community where most of my friends are mnarried to their high profile-high-status husbands, driving their expensive cars, flashing their diamond rings, and yes, having more than one child, we had to say to them that I`ve had a miscarriage. I mean they are lovely and supportive, but would they ever understand my reasons for having an abortion?-NO! Would they ever justify me making that decission?-NOT a chance! So here I am, all on my own, my husband barely ever talks to me, and all I have is this forum and the people who I can actually talk to(well write to).

So, if we do like the catholic religion wants us to do, not using any contraception and not having abortions, we`d end up poping children every year! Which is fine if you can cope with it, but I couldn`t cope with two small children. Neither could we afford two children.
I wish I was still pregnant, and now think what`s the earliest we can try for a baby again? Is it right to not think about our abortion like it never happenes or should we try and come to terms with it?


love
billie xxx

I am sorry for your pain. I too am Catholic (revert), and all I can say about your fear of your 'friends' judging you is that everybody has done things in their lives that they regret, and that God alone, who is infinite Love and infinite Mercy will be your judge and my judge and their judge in the end. If they are truly Catholic they will know this.

Although you sound very resentful towards the whole Catholic ethos right now, and all you see arouond you are wealthy prosperous Faithful, know that Jesus Himself chose to came into this world penniless. He did not condemn the woman who was to be stoned to death, or the woman at the well (this gives ME great hope!).

As for popping out a sprog every 9 months, that is not what Catholic teaching is all about. Using NFP, which is beautiful and really works, you and your husband can choose to space your children when you have good reason. Financial limitations are considered a good reason, as is the fact that you have two little ones and feel stretched already.

In so far as coming to terms with this abortion, I think you and your husband could really benefit from a Rachel's Vineyard retreat. Google the term and you will find someplace near you. This allows you to grieve and mourn the loss of your precious child. If you try to bury this episode without dealing with it, it will just raise its ugly head again and again. Your marriage will only improve if you come to terms with this together, as the two of you were involved in this decision.

You both also have recourse to the beautiful Sacrement of Reconciliation (confession) where your burdens will be lifted. I was away from the church for 15 years, and my first confession after coming back was very difficult to do, but I felt so wonderful afterwards. I described it to my brother like a colonic for my head! (excuse the crassness) It was like 10lbs of weight I was carrying on my shoulders had been lifted. I can only recommend it.

I am sorry if this sounds like a commercial for 'Lets all be Catholic'. Please know that I do feel your pain (I am crying now) and that I will pray for God's Blessings for you and your little family.

Love
Siobhan