Hi there,

I can really sympathise with you as my girlfriend and I were in a similar situation to you. I felt that I was no way ready to be a Dad and that abortion would be the only way out. However, at the last minute, my girlfriend said she couldn't go through with it and didn't take the tablet.
We're now years down the line and I'm so glad she never took that tablet.
We did our best to think the situation through at the time, but the fear and panic makes it nearly impossible.
I know how you feel, but you musn't let things such as what people might think about you influence your decision.
You said your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, I said that to my girlfriend too, but I now feel the total opposite. The real danger you face is letting that fear and panic pressurize you into making a decision that you could regret for the rest of your life. If my girlfiend did take the tablet, I would have felt such guilt and regret later, that it would have seriously affected me.
Abortion seems to be marketed as a way of keeping your life the same - sort of empowereing women, but it doesn't work like that. Either way, your life will be changed.
The other problem you face from abortion, is if you let the pressure put on you from others drive you into getting an abortion, you stand a real chance of wrecking your relationship with your boyfriend and your mum, because you may feel a strong resentment afterwards, that the people who love you the most pressurised you into something that you didn't want to do.

The only advice that I can give from my own experience, is to think about your baby and yourself and try your best to do the right thing.

The problem with these situations is that all that fear and panic and worry of what others might think or where you'll live, can distract you from the quiet reality of what's happening inside of you. There is a real baby in there who'll look a bit like you and grow up and share your life with you - all the other things such as what people think and where you'll live will get sorted out as time goes by.
Extra financial support is available and so is housing, it just needs to be arranged. Loads of girls go through college and uni with children, I'm not saying it'll be easy, but it can be done.

What I'm trying to say, is that you and your baby can get through it together

I truly hope this helps.

God bless

Just found out that im pregnant, last month i missed my period and put it down to stress with my a levels but something inside of me told me i was pregnant (probably because i had all te signs) so when i missed my period agen this month i had to get a test. I was that scared i had to get my boyfrind to buy it. I dont want to be pregnant but i dont think i can go through with an abortion.

My boyfried knows exactly what he wants...he doesnt want a kid. Were both 17 in our first year of college and non of us have a job to support a child. He was sayin the only way we could have a baby is if he drops out of college and gets a job now, and id have to get a job for a while too. if i keep the baby id be having it at the end of this year and i dont know how we will get enough money to get somewhere to live before then. he wants me to have an abortion he says its for the best. I havent even been to the doctors yet im just not ready for all of this.

If my mam finds out she will go mad. she is always hintin on that im too young for a kid i know she doesnt want me to have one. i know what shes like and she will make me feel like sh*t for being pregnant. And the rest of the family will look down on me s im too young and they think i shouldn't be having a child till my late 20's.

I don't want a baby at 17, my boyfriend doesn't want one either, we didnt plan it to happen the condom split. I cant tell my mam im pregnant it just wont go down well at all. But dont want an abortion, iv always said i would never have one. i dont kno what to do.

Im not sure what im asking, i guess i just need some advice especially from people who are or have been in a similar situation. What would you do?

me either,im so confused bout my situation right now..im still 16 and still in 1st year college.im on my 2nd month of pregnancy right now,my boyfriend knew bout it,at first we both wanted to abort it but when we already did all possible ways to abort it nothing happened so he decided to continue it and be a father but he isnt the father,i was raped by hisfriend when i was drunk and i didnt tell him...im very confused..pls. help me..

What do you thing about adoption? In any case you should do what you want to do because this decision is only up to you. The others, if they love you, will understand and support you whatever your decision

Hi hun,

I had a medical abortion about two and a half weeks ago (I posted my positive story on here, along with a few other peoples so take a look if it helps). I was a mess, my boyfriend and mum and my friends all helped me and talked me though the options and I realised that there was no way I could have a baby. Although I'm 25 and so happy with my boyfriend, I wasn't ready. It was a horrible decision to make and part of me was unsure whether to go through with it but as soon as I took the tablets and went home to be with my boyfriend and best friends I felt better and knew it was the right thing to do. Now I feel completely back to normal, I'm happy again and my life is carrying on as it should.

I'm not saying that this is what you should do, just saying that it's not as bad as you think. i always said that I would never have an abortion but you just don't know what you'd do until you are in that situation. My boyfriend and I don't even live together yet but are planning on it next year and are so excited, we want to buy things for our house, go on holiday and get married. Then we will have children and I'll want them more than anything.

Don't think that it is an easy decision or that I don't think about it everyday because i do but it gets easier with time and only you can know what is right for you. Maybe you'll be a great mother and it'll be the best thing you've ever done. just keep talking it through with your boyfriend and maybe a couple of close friends you can trust.

i suggest calling a helpline too perhaps for advice, i spoke to Marie Stopes and they were amazing, they were so nice and made it a much better experience than I hear other people have had.

Feel free to message me if you need anymore help.

xxx

Hey,

Woteva u decided u need to decided for yourself, don't do wot u feel other people would want you to do, because at the end of the day if they love u they will support ur decision.

hi there, i am going through almost the identical situation as you, despite this though my boyfriend does want it although he is thinking about it logically and also asked me for an abortion.
this is definately not what i want althugh i am terrfied i will be left on my own, as i also am a student and my parents will go insane!
he is currently out of the country and when he returns we were planning on talkign about it again, although i am now at the brink of a miscarraige so time will tell.
at the end of the day, despite how much it is awful and painful to talk about it really is better to discuss it with him and i found it helped to talk to my best friend, we looked at financial things and tried to find a way to cope but again time will tell what will happen.
i wish you the best of luck and hope that the decision you make will be beneficial for you and i realise this may not be very useful, but if you ever want to chat about it as we are going through the same sort of thing, let me know.
take care x

Hi there. I'm 19 and I had a termination in January of this year. I had only been with my boyfriend for 2 months when we found out (because, quite frankly, condoms do not work if they keep slipping off - I now use Implanon). I'm a full-time university student, and we both live with our parents.

When I have children, I want to be able to afford to buy the things I need. I want to provide a home. I don't want to live in a council house like I do now, struggling to clothe and feed my family. I know it is certainly possible to provide for a child, but I want it to be an enjoyable experience, not panicking that I don't have enough money to buy baby food.

There are people out there who will disagree with me, and probably say that I am being selfish, that I care only about what I want. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want my children to struggle like I did growing up, and I want to enjoy being a parent. These are my reasons for having the termination, which I believe are fair and I hope I will not be judged.

I'm not saying there's not a part of me that regrets the termination, I think about it all the time. And so will you, if you do the same. It's not something that should be done lightly. But remember that no matter what people say, a foetus will not feel any pain during a termination. You will not cause the child to suffer. It is you who will feel pain, both physically and emotionally. But it is your life, and your decision.

If you feel that you'd rather give the foetus a chance to live, and go down the adoption road, that's fine too. But once that baby is born, I imagine it will be very difficult to let go.

I hope I have helped, and I hope you make whatever decision that is best for you. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Hi there,

I can really sympathise with you as my girlfriend and I were in a similar situation to you. I felt that I was no way ready to be a Dad and that abortion would be the only way out. However, at the last minute, my girlfriend said she couldn't go through with it and didn't take the tablet.
We're now years down the line and I'm so glad she never took that tablet.
We did our best to think the situation through at the time, but the fear and panic makes it nearly impossible.
I know how you feel, but you musn't let things such as what people might think about you influence your decision.
You said your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, I said that to my girlfriend too, but I now feel the total opposite. The real danger you face is letting that fear and panic pressurize you into making a decision that you could regret for the rest of your life. If my girlfiend did take the tablet, I would have felt such guilt and regret later, that it would have seriously affected me.
Abortion seems to be marketed as a way of keeping your life the same - sort of empowereing women, but it doesn't work like that. Either way, your life will be changed.
The other problem you face from abortion, is if you let the pressure put on you from others drive you into getting an abortion, you stand a real chance of wrecking your relationship with your boyfriend and your mum, because you may feel a strong resentment afterwards, that the people who love you the most pressurised you into something that you didn't want to do.

The only advice that I can give from my own experience, is to think about your baby and yourself and try your best to do the right thing.

The problem with these situations is that all that fear and panic and worry of what others might think or where you'll live, can distract you from the quiet reality of what's happening inside of you. There is a real baby in there who'll look a bit like you and grow up and share your life with you - all the other things such as what people think and where you'll live will get sorted out as time goes by.
Extra financial support is available and so is housing, it just needs to be arranged. Loads of girls go through college and uni with children, I'm not saying it'll be easy, but it can be done.

What I'm trying to say, is that you and your baby can get through it together

I truly hope this helps.

God bless

i wasnt as young as you when i had my termination i was 20 but only been with my bloke for three months and we were careful but these things happen.
however family wise i was the same as you and i also felt so scared of the whole situation and what people might think, i thought i was to young for children too. it is an extreamly hard decision to go through in such a short amount of time i know, but i had my medical termination at 10 weeks. the situation i was in, i wouldnt personaly been able to cope and it would have done me more harm to have a child.
like any thing you dont know how you will react or think untill it happens to you, but i think deep down we have a feeling that tells us if were making the right choise,my was to terminate and ive never regretted the decesion i made.
please just be true to yourself and do whats best for you not family, bf, mates or any one else
hope all goes well poppet
feel free to pm me xxx

Your post sounds a bit like lots of posts which are on this forum, you are obviously really worried, and in a bit of a panic. There is huge pressure on you to abort your child, and this will probably only increase when you tell your mother.

Before you do this, I would like to mention a few things (I am very pro-unborn child and pro-mother aswell). I wish we as a people would consider the child as a real person more, and not just look at him or her as a huge inconvenience. I guess I just want to say that the child in your womb is unique, precious and unrepeatable. I think you know this on many levels. If having an abortion was equivalent to having your tonsils out, your heart would not be so sore just considering it.

You keep repeating you are not ready. Well with a full term pregnancy you have another 7 months to get ready.

There are other options apart from abortion. You could release your child for adoption (go see the movie Juno, funny and relevant to your situation, bring boyfriend if possible)

You could have your baby and continue your education. Certainly more difficult with a child, but more awesome also. There is financial support for this. If you like, PM me your location in confidence and I would be happy to do a bit of research for you.

You seem very worried about what other people think of you. This is really normal, but I am worried what you will think of yourself if you abort your first child. This is more important than what anybody else thinks, as you will have to live with this for the rest of your life.

Take care

Siobhan

You are at least 8 weeks pregnant if you have missed 2 periods, and your baby is really well developed now

At 8 weeks, from http://www.askbaby.com/pregnancy-week-8.htm
Your baby is starting to look more human-like and is now about the size of a large grape, about 10,000 times bigger than the size of the fertilised egg. Your baby's face is beginning to form, her nostrils, lips and a mouth with a tongue appear. The eyes are visible under a thin membrane of skin. Your baby's brain has formed with two distinct hemispheres. Along the back, a spinal column is visible and bones are beginning to form. The limbs have lengthened and there are obvious knee and elbow joints. Fingers are well defined, but are webbed and there are ridges on the feet that will become the toes. All the buds of your baby's non-permanent teeth have formed. Your baby's head is still huge in comparison with the rest of the body and the chin is attached to her chest. All the organs have started to form and are in the right position.

do you know gaelfish, that was a really nasty thing to do, putting what her babies development would be at this stage!!!!!