Hello everyone!!

I feel so hopeless right now, i really need some advice.

I am 30 years old with no children and i have a relationship with a man 10 years older than me. We have been together for one year. 4 months ago i got pregnant. He said to me from the beginning that he didnt want kids. He was clear he didnt want the baby. Anyway the doctor took the decision for me by saying that this wasnt a viable pregnancy. It was a blighted ovum. So i had the abortion but there wasnt really a baby to abort. So i was ready to move on with my life. After the surgery my boyfriend promised me that if it happened again we are were going to keep the baby and not put me through to another abortion.

Well 4 months later im pregnant again. I am 8 weeks. My boyfriend doesnt want it.He is talking about abortion every day. He is practically beging me not to have it. He is not ready he says. He is 40 years old. He will never be ready.

I cry all the time. I dont know what to do. I cant force him to do anything. One thing i know for sure. I will leave him no matter what decision i'll make.

I dont think i am strong enough to raise a child on my own. I have some support for my mother but is not enough. I suffer from panic attacks and depression occasionaly and i think i am not stable enough to make my baby happy. I grew up without a father and i dont want to do the same to my kid.

As far as adoption i dont think about it at all.

Please any kind words would be apprieciated. Thank you all so much for reading my story.

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you're going through this really difficult time.
You said that you don't think that you're strong enough to have this baby, but people very often suprise themselves, and others when put in tough situations.

If you have this baby, you can push the baby around in it's pram with your head held high knowing that you gave your baby the best chance you possibly could.
Babies seem to have a great way of changing your life for the better.

You're child might not grow up without a father, as you could well meet someone else who'll be a great father to your child.
With regards to making your baby happy, just give it love. If you give it your natural love, your baby will be happy - it's natures way.

I'm also worried that if you abort, you are at risk of getting much worse depression as the guilt kicks in.
I was in a situation once where I felt that I definately didn't want to have a child and very nearly took the steps to abort. Thankfully my girlfriend didn't take the tablet because, even though at the time I was so against having a child, it would have been something that I would have regretted for the rest of my life.
What I'm trying to say, is that when you're in the situation that you're in, the fear and panic that you feel can take over almost everything, and make it almost impossible to make a clear decision.
The only advice that I can give you from my experience, is to look long term, think about how you might feel a a few years from now in both situations.
I truly hope this help and that you're ok,

God bless

Your heart is already acknowledging that your boyfriend is not stepping up to the plate again even though he promised that things would be different! You also said he wasn't going to put you through another abortion, which means that the last one wasn't easy for you even thought it was out of your hands. how much more difficult do you think that this one will be for you to handle with no medical reason for it?

You might be struggling with some difficulties in your own life at the moment, but babies have wonderful ways of taking the focus off of us and we soon forget our own issues when they are around. You could always find a support group or a moms group in your area for a extra bit of help and support after the baby is here.

There are no guarantees in this world, you could abort this baby and meet someone else a few years down the line, things could seem wonderful and you could decide to have a baby together but there is no guarantees that he wouldn't leave you during your pregnancy or after the baby is born.

This baby is here now, for you!!
YOu are strong enough tofinish walking down this path to motherhood that you are on
thinking of you xxx
kerry