I have never been in your position and so I understand that you might just think I have nothing of value to say, but I just ask that you read what I have written and if it means nothing to you the I am sorry, but it is just my 2 cents, for what it's worth and I hope it might mean something to you or atleast give you something to think about!!!

I know this might sound silly, but when you get to the end of this life, what do you think will have mattered the most? what will you want around you? will you call for your masters degree that hangs on the wall? or will those who worked with you and saw you pour in all your hard work effort and the sacrafices into your job and climbing the ladder be surrounding you? or do you not think that what will be most important to you will be to have your children with you?
If you live your life in light of the grand scheme of things, focusing on what will be here 20/30 years after your career has ended, then that will help you line up your decisions in order.
Please dn't misunderstand, I am not saying give up your career!! You said you are four months away from finishing, you can still finish!! If you did not know you were pregnant up till now, then you have already missed the morning sickness stage ( and trust me, you are very blessed, I had it badly, so I am super jealous of you for that
You can finish your degree and then have your baby and you don't have to take a year off if you don't want to.
Nothing in life is guaranteed, you could abort this child tomorrow, wait till you think it is the right time to fall pregnant and then not be able to conceive, or have a baby or two and then after a few years your partner could still leave you then.you can't not allow this child to live becasue you are witing for better/perfect timing, that night never come and then you will be faced with more dissapointments.
You don't know for surv what your family will do...have you tried talking to them. once they see this beautiful baby, tings change
What I am trying to say is this. Think of either scenario-aborting your baby or allowing your baby this last 19 weeks to finish growing and then when you look back at the end of your career, when the work you have put in to your job will mean nothing, think of how you will feel with each scenario. Once your baby is here, after the first second you lay eyes on it, you will love it with your whole heart and never be able to imagine having aborted. regardless of how difficult things get!!!
I am thinking of you and hope that something I have said will help in some way,
Take care of both of you,
Kerry

hi all, im new to these boards but really struggling currently after a week ago finding out i was 21 weeks pregnant - which came as a complete and utter surprise, i had no idea! I must say here and now im young but not stupid there really were none of the usual signs of symptoms, i have spent the last week trying to think back on anything i could have missed.

As im sure all woman who have to make this decision im a plain and simple mess, i have a partner who is being extremely supportive and willing to be with me by my side regardless of what i chose, my initial reaction and feelings were on abortion, im 4 months away from finishing a masters degree, i work full time trying to get a foot on the ladder and currently we are not in any position financially to look after a baby, however i cant get it out of my mind , in all honesty i guess im really scared that whatever decision i make its going to be the wrong one.

I had a scan and have seen the baby which i think makes it all the harder, i guess the reason for my post is im looking for anyone who has had a similar experience of finding out so late on, and how they made their decision and also if anyone knows who the procedure at such a late stage is carried out, as im from Scotland and it is not legal here at this stage and i will have to travel to London to have it carried out.

Thanks to anyone who got this far and can offer any advice!

i can sympathise i went thru a terribe time last year deciding on weither to keep my baby i was 14 weeks at my abortion date and was told after 13 weeks babys are almost always delivered vaginally as the heads are too big to be removed surgically on rare occasions do they do a surgical up to 16-19 weeks but this involves distroying the baby and there is a risk bits will get left behind and will come out naturally of their own accord, i got warned even at 14 weeks if i had a surgical thru a private company while trying their best to ensure all of the feotus was removed there had been a few cases where said feotuses limbs had been left behind now imagine finding that! tbh im sure actually positive you will have to give birth to the child unless its a dodgy clinic where they do that terrile surgery i read about. anywho i decided keep my child ok its been hard and ive had to give up college for a year and i finally have got my head around the fact im having a baby due next friday. just take some time to think as its a decision you can never take back xxx

Hi Hun,

Yes you are really scared right now. A friend of mine was 5 monts pregnant before she realised, so I know this can happen. The thing is you can still finish your masters, you will just have a big bump, but you can work right up till the end, especially in academia.

I think that travelling to London and aborting will be a bigger distraction to your studies than just letting nature take its course.

I wish you courage and faith

Siobhan

I would say you were mad to consider abortion at such a very late stage! I am all for people having the choice and it is something i considerd when i found out i was pregnant but at 21 weeks you would be made to go through a full labour. Abortions (in MY OPINION) at this stage very very wrong unless there is a medical reason. The fetus is far too developed.

I really urge you not to go through with any termination at this stage. It is far too late!

Im sorry if this response upsets anyone.

i have to clarify to some people on this site, a late termination DOES NOT INVOLVE LABOUR and by trying to allow people to think it does only scares them and makes their decision harder! i came to this board looking for opinions and information not a lecture ! im happy to understand everyone has different views but you cannot give people incorrect information to try and make them lean towards your opinion!

Yes it does involve labour, you have to pass the fetus yourself as it is simply to large to surgically remove (specially at 20+ weeks).

I have never been in your position and so I understand that you might just think I have nothing of value to say, but I just ask that you read what I have written and if it means nothing to you the I am sorry, but it is just my 2 cents, for what it's worth and I hope it might mean something to you or atleast give you something to think about!!!

I know this might sound silly, but when you get to the end of this life, what do you think will have mattered the most? what will you want around you? will you call for your masters degree that hangs on the wall? or will those who worked with you and saw you pour in all your hard work effort and the sacrafices into your job and climbing the ladder be surrounding you? or do you not think that what will be most important to you will be to have your children with you?
If you live your life in light of the grand scheme of things, focusing on what will be here 20/30 years after your career has ended, then that will help you line up your decisions in order.
Please dn't misunderstand, I am not saying give up your career!! You said you are four months away from finishing, you can still finish!! If you did not know you were pregnant up till now, then you have already missed the morning sickness stage ( and trust me, you are very blessed, I had it badly, so I am super jealous of you for that
You can finish your degree and then have your baby and you don't have to take a year off if you don't want to.
Nothing in life is guaranteed, you could abort this child tomorrow, wait till you think it is the right time to fall pregnant and then not be able to conceive, or have a baby or two and then after a few years your partner could still leave you then.you can't not allow this child to live becasue you are witing for better/perfect timing, that night never come and then you will be faced with more dissapointments.
You don't know for surv what your family will do...have you tried talking to them. once they see this beautiful baby, tings change
What I am trying to say is this. Think of either scenario-aborting your baby or allowing your baby this last 19 weeks to finish growing and then when you look back at the end of your career, when the work you have put in to your job will mean nothing, think of how you will feel with each scenario. Once your baby is here, after the first second you lay eyes on it, you will love it with your whole heart and never be able to imagine having aborted. regardless of how difficult things get!!!
I am thinking of you and hope that something I have said will help in some way,
Take care of both of you,
Kerry

be aware that if you abort at this late stage you will be giving birth to a dead baby. Please please don't do it! Babies can and do survive from only 22 weeks. This baby has every thing - all it needs is longer cooking time. You can do this, you can have this baby. You have to ask yourself could you really rob this baby's chance of life? Sorry if I am sounding harsh but I have 3 biological children and a stepchild. On 2 of the pregnancies I knew at 20 weeks what we were having. My last child I knew she was a girl at 19 weeks and already had her name.

You say whatever decision you make will be the wrong one. I promise you once you hold that beautiful baby you will never regret your decision.

i appreciate your opinion certinaly and thanks for sharing it but for me your choice isnt necessarily the right one, i know all the statistics and i understand that what im doing is a much harder choice than at 8 weeks etc but im not ready to be a parent and nor is my partner, i want the first time i get pregnant with him with intent to be a happy and joyous occasion not one where we both know its not necessarily what we wanted, and bringing it into a situation neither one of us can afford and especially with no help from my family. to bring this baby into the world means cutting off my entire family and going it solo ! its very easy to say that i have a supportive partner but as in any case he can up and leave whenever he feels and where would that leave me !

i have never been an advocate of abortion and never thought i would put myself in this position but when it happens to you things change !

single mum for 12 years. For me my son was the greatest thing in my life. What about adoption? In less than 20 weeks baby will be born and could be a great blessing in someones life.

Do you honestly believe that you can both go on your normal lives if you abort your child?

I don't know your family but this child is their grandchild. Have you spoken to them? As for your partner you don't know he would leave. Relationships do breakdown of course but this can happen at anytime. If it happened to me I would still have 3 wonderful biological kids - this would never been a regret. Things can get tough when bringing up kids but it is very possible.

Hi,

I had an abortion one month ago, I was nearly 13 weeks pregnant. Hun, if I could turn back time i would`ve never EVER had that abortion. My baby was happily living in me for 3months and than I made that horrible deciosion to have his life taken. I will never forgive myself. Abortion isn`t something that you can just forget. No! I now wish I was still pregnant, I cry for my child every day. And now look you`ve made it for so long, you`ve seen your baby...I understand your feelings, I couldn`t keep my child for the same financial reasons. But now, looking back I know we would`ve made it. I am now forever emotionally scarred, and I know you now don`t understand this if you`ve never had an abortion before. Having an abortion is a horrible, horrible thing, I curse he day I went to hospital. I know how you`re feeling, but please, can u feel the baby LIVING inside you? Can you feel it moving? Do you talk to him/her? Your baby is already alive in you, and there are lots of organisations which help pregnant mums financially(wish I knew this before I lost my baby).

Hope you keep your child

Enjoy your pregnancy

xxx