Please any advice!! 37, 9wks preg,husband wants abortion!!!

This is the first time ive ever posted anything on the net, but im so confused I just dont know what to do, I feel so alone in how im feeling at the moment, if anyone shares or can offer some advice It would be apreciated lots. I am 37 years old have been with my husband for 23years. I got pregnant at the age of 16 with the same partner. I had the baby because i just couldnt bring myself to have an abortion as when I found out I was 14wks pregnant already. Anyway we ended up having a lovely baby boy who is now 19. We waited for 7years untill we planned for another, after a couple of miscarriages we were blessed with another lovely baby boy born in the June. Then four months later found out we were expecting another baby, I was a bit scared at first having another baby so soon but was generaly happy about it,and kinda secretly hoped for a little princesss to go with my princes, my husband wasnt so pleased and initialy wanted a termination, but after a lot of talks we decided together on carrying on with the pregnancy, We had another little prince who we loved dearly. My husband and I have both always said we would have loved to have had a little girl, and deep down I feel that it would complete the family but we had 3 healthy sons who we love dearly and wouldnt swap for the world. Any way that was 11 and a half years ago since my last baby. Now, I have found out 3weeks ago that im pregnant due to me being a bit lax with the pill after taking antibiotics for a tooth infection. My initial reaction was WOW and I was shocked but secretly happy. I told my husband and he went mental!!! Said we cannot have this baby no way no how. Well I just burst into tears,didnt know what to do or think. What my husband says is true, we live in a very small house and dont have room for another or the finances to move at the moment. He said he would love another baby but just cant at the moment. Its all so true what he said. I went to the doctors and spoke about termination, have an apointment today for the clinic for assessment at 17.45 my husband is comming with me, but I already feel for part of this little life inside me and the thought of killing it is making me feel sick inside, i feel that mayby at 37 this could me my last chance and have told him that but he just says dont be silly.He said if we had the money for a bigger house or to build an extension it wouldnt be so bad. Oh boy Help

Me too

I totally understand your situation. I am 41 yrs old and have 2 beautiful children 3, and 20 months. Been married for 6 yrs.Recently discovered I was pregnant (was 6wks when I first found out). Told my husband, but he was not thrilled at all. He recently got layed off from his job, we are in a brand new home with a pretty hefty mortgage. Daycare fees alone are $330/WEEK!!!! This could not have happened at a worst time. My husband , who is usually very positive, thinks his little world will crash if I have the baby, so he wants me to get rid of it. I totally can understand his reasoning. Financially, I actually don't see how it will work, but deep down I think it's wrong to get an abortion, especially if it is a normal pregnancy, regardless of the circumstances. I feel like he doesn't love me as much as he said he did. I don't think a husband who is in love with his wife would even entertain something like this. I really don't want an abortion, and I WON'T back down. He can do whatever he wants.

Me too

I feel the same im am too 41years old and just found out im pregnant. ive been off work with a bad back for three months and im just about to go
back ,I have had a urine infection and been on antibiotics which must have reduced my pill,my husband wants me tohave an abortion said it would split us up if i had it ,I dont want to have an abortion i believe things are ment to be for a reason i too think he doesnt love me i thoght he would support me just shows you how wrong i was any more advise thanks.

Sad in virginia

I feel awful, my husband and I got married Aug the 16. I found out I was pregnut the 18th of sept. My husband has three older kids and one at home with us he is 22. However he is 50 (hubby)and I'm 36 when my husband told his child at home he was not happy. Afterwards my husband got unhappy and stated that I did not inform him that I stopped taking the pills. I don't have any kids at 36 I ran out of pills during the wedding. After that I made the appt, but got pergnut on the honeymoon. Furthermore I got an abortion last week and I'm heartbroken and in alot of pain. I told him that I will get pregnut again after I finish school in the fall. I also told him if his adult child does not accept I will take my child and leave. I have to say the other adult children not living at home was happy about our baby. Was I wrong for standing firm after he bkoke my heart.

Hi kaz97

Hi, how are you getting on? Congratulations on your baby! IIm sorry if that might sound like a strange thing to say, but deep down you seem like you want to keep the child and it seems like you know theres already a life inside you. Do you already have children? Have you been with your husband for a long time? If you have kids already then you know that they are precious and another one will bring joy to your life. Sorry to hear about your health problems but you are getting better now and you can totally do this. Believe in yourself and listen to your heart: you already know things happen for a reason so dont throw your child away! You havent said much about your past relationship with your husband so maybe your situation with him is not as bad as you think. Maybe he just has cold feet and will come round soon? But no one has the right to make you choose between him and your child. Would he go to counseling with you? If not, dont hesitate to go on your own. Even if you dont need therapy, exactly, you can still talk to someone who can give you advice about all your options. Try http://www.careconfidential.com/ if you are in the UK, or http://optionline.org/ and http://optionline.org/advantage.asp anywhere in the world. Keep in touch with us too and let us know how its going! Take care.

Hi

I would choose my baby over my husband any time

Same problem

hi im 29 have got two children and a foster carer. had my first child at 15, second at 20. my partner is a lot older than me we got one child together, he did not want anymore, i agreed but when i feel pregnant ichanged my mind. he went mad thetend to leave me and get custordey of our 2 kids. he hates me at mo but just found out im pregnant with twins and i am keeping them so the choice is yours, dont let hiom bully you in to having an abortion, you might end up blaming him and being angree at him for a long time.

You sound too unsure

i really feel for you. here you are pregnant, happy, but feeling a choice has been made for you. i really would call off the appt, and tell your huusband that you dont want to go through with it. in the end you are going to resent him for pushing you to make this decision. you can always cope with a child. you will make room. you can make cut backs, for the finances. these are peety excuses. you want the baby, and it should be a dcision both of you really can agree on, not a half, and half.i have been through a termination before, and it is so emotional, its untrue, so please be very sure.
best of luck

Meant to be?

It really sounds as if you really have made up your mind? There's a life inside of you and maybe it was meant to be. I appreciate your husband's point of view but it doesn't sound as if he's totally against it. You can always make space for a baby and who's to say that your eldest won't leave your home soon and move into something of his own? 37 isn't old but I see where you are coming from. I'm 36 soon and 10 weeks pregnant and still 100% sure as to what do do! One part of me says it could well be 'my last chance' and it is a life growing inside me. Another part says that I still got time for when I am better prepared. Am pretty confused myself as you probably can see so I hope I haven't made it worse for you. Please let me know how you get on.

Thank you for reply!!!

Hi, thank you for your reply. I went to the clinic yesturday evening and as soon as I got in there my emotions got the better of me, I just cried the whole time. Anyway I went ahead and spoke to the doctor and he filled all the forms in and im booked in for a termination next friday. I know I cant go through with it, i know i just cant, I thought mayby I could just to keep everything happy with my husband who I do love loads, but I just cant do this for him. So we have some serious talking to do between now and next friday. My emotions are all over the shop at the moment but you are right deep down ive always know the answer to my own question. It is a hard one I think at my/our age, fertility drops quiet rapid after 35 and mayby this could me my last chance and I do think back to when I had my first, we had nothing no house no money, but we coped and my son is a happy 19yr old now as you mentioned finding his own way in life. It was lovely to hear from someone my age speaking so postively. It does worry me having a baby now mine are grown, but I think that now I would cope better with a baby more so than when I was in my 20s am I making sense? You realy have helped, ive just got to get my husband to think the same and no he isnt totaly against it just says its not the right time, but then i dont think there ever will be a right time. I will let you know how it goes thankyou again