Feeling lost,hurt,regret after my abortion and having a hard time with partner! pls help :tri

Hi all,

Recently had a termination, i was 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant. My partner was not ready for a baby. But then who is? I dont want to be a single mum again and because of him being muslim and me being catholic it was hard...

I have a ten year old girl from previous, i never wanted to terminate. And i never intentionally wanted to be pregnant at this moment but i was and i was on contraception, have been taking the pills for years an i fell accidentally pregnant, and he still blames me, i didnt take my pills right.... takes two to tango n becareful becareful.

I truelly dont believe in what i had done an i did it, i comitted the most ultimate sin i can ever imagine.
I cry myself to sleep most nights an days everyday and i cant talk to no one cause no one understand the feeling of emtyness, sadness, and pain i am going through an what i did.

I feel i am on my own even though he says he is there, i just dont know how to talk to him or cope?

He did not want me to speak to any one or any family about the pregnancy and termintation decision, but i didnt know what to do, is it wrong to talk, seek comfort.
He is upset with me because i did this' when he told me not to talk to no one but him.
To be honest i no now he feels left out.
But if i did not talk i would have no one, my cousin was by my side taking me there an back on the first day. looking after my daughter he wasnt around as he was working.
But when he saw how much pain that first night he decided to come with me the next day for the final insertation of the pills. But again he wasnt with me at home my cousin was there to pick me up from the toilet in pain.

How do you explain an make them understand it was me who had to go through this mentally and physically and finding so so hard to manage. I am crying alatime, apparently i am pushing him away. And i dont treat him right, why is he still with me if that is the case.

What do men really feel about this, they dont show no emoticons.

Now iv decided to see a councillor, a shrink. Or il never get through this.

I need to let everything out in the open i am very scared of this and loosing him. He thinks im seeking attention. But i have every right ot be right now.

I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO COPE AND SEEK INNER PEACE RIGHT NOW NOR HAPPINESS!!

We are not all alike

In response to your question about how men feel, we are not all the same.

My other half recently had a termination that I did not agree with but there was nothing I could do about it. I am left regretting the outcome of the situation whilst trying to support her through the aftermath and to be honest it is breaking me.

No man should force a woman to go through with a termination and any that try should be ashamed of themselves. On the other hand what if we tried to stop you going through with it?

I understand that you, like so many other stories I read, feel forced or cornered into making a decision, but as I tried to explain to my girl friend, you are not. The final choice lays with you and I do not envy that responsibility.

So in summary we are not all the same and only you can judge your particular man on his actions, which are not so hot from what I am reading. It makes me cry to hear some of the stories of regret you all go through but please dont think all men find it easy either.

You are right to seek proffessional help and the support of your friends. Good luck with your healing.

Hes not worth it!

I am sorry babes but he sounds like he doesn't understand at all and is being bitterly selfish. He SHOULD understand that you are hurt right now! You have EVERY RIGHT to be. It is DEEPLY WRONG for him not to be there when you were going through this! Also that he won't let you talk to friends! That is about HIM not you! He is thinking of HIMSELF...I REALLY hope you leave him. As another poster said, concentrate on your other child now, give them your love and affection not this man!

Be Strong Honey!

Good Luck xoxox

Poor you

I am so sorry your partner didnt support you , and still isnt. That is most upsetting

You are saying you are pushing him away by not treating him right, but honey, he hasnt treated you right at all...please dont start blaming yourself, that is not fair on you at all. What you have been through took courage and strength and it is so sad you feel so terrible.

It would help to talk to someone, and better yetm someone on here because the majority have been tthrough the same thing...

I hope you do find your inner peace... x

Leave him

Hi

Not sure if you are still with this man but my advice is get rid of him.

I did what you did for the same reason and now looking back I should never have listened to him. Your man is selfish and cruel as he has no right to stop you from speaking to friends and family. If you dont put this to rest it will destroy you.

No man is worth getting rid of a baby and I have learned that lesson now. He should be ashamed of himself for not being more supportive.

My advice to you, a woman who has been through the same as you is leave this man and make sure you give all your love and efforts onto your other child.

So chin up go speak to your mum and get rid of the looser xxxxxxxxxx