I regret doing it!!!!

im 17 &i had been seeing some1 4 a few months but hardly ever saw him as he lived quite far away..i finished with him just before findin out i was pregnant... i had a funny feeling i was but i kept putting it to the back of my mind...i met sum1 else and opened up to him, im still with him,....he made me see that i have my whole life ahead of me and i agreed but he said its my decision but he will stick by me. i was 6 weeks when i found out...i told a girl who i work with aswell but still kept putting it off.
i finally went to get a abortion and by this time i was 13 weeks...it was the hardest thing i have done and i regret every minute of it...my sister in law has found out shes having a baby and is showing every1 her scan pics but i just have to walk off cos all i keep thinkin is 'that shud b me showing my scans pictures'.
i know that it was me who had the abortion but it was honestly the hardest thing i ever!! when im on my own i just cant help thinking bout that little baby that i got rid of, i cant help wondering what it wud looki like, what its first word would be or whether it was a boy or girl. i cry about it often and just wish i can turn back the time.
i havnt got any 1 to talk to bout it cos im worried they will think im doing it 4 attention as its bin nearly 2 months since my abortion but i just cant help the way im feeling.

i just wish i had my baby back inside me.......

Me too : (

Hi heyhey57,

I had a termination on Monday (17th Aug) and I didnt feel any relief when I came out of surgery, just numbness and then instantly regret , shame, pain and grief. I feel I cant talk about it as I did this and only have myself to blame,, but I've phoned a counsellor today - at careconfidential. They provide free counselling. I think you should go to somewhere like that for support, to help you get through these emotions you are feeling. The lady was was very nice when I phoned and they should have a local place near you where you go to see them. You will find them if you google the name. You can also go to BPAS who will also provide free counselling. This should have been offered to you by the clinic when you had the assessment etc.

Hope you get inner peace soon.
Jo

You will get there

Hi there,
I read ur story and it reminded me of exactly how i felt after my abortion. I went through with it in march of this year at 6 weeks along. I can remember feeling guilty afterwards and felt myself becoming depressed, hating my boyfriend, who i am still with and also went through all the feelings of wondering what could have been.

Have you spoken to a professional about how you feel? I went to counselling for a little while after and my boyfriend came with me - it really helped and slowly i am starting to find myself again.

It is completely natural to go through all the feelings you have described and to be honest i would be quite surprised and worried if any woman didn't because of the natural maternal instincts we each have.

Please don't feel that you cannot talk to anyone because it has been a couple of months, different people deal with this in different ways and some do not talk about how it has effected them for years. When you feel ready to though do get some support as it will make a difference.

Take care x