Surprise third pregnancy

Hi

I have read a few older posts similar to my story and wondered if there is anyone else there in the same situation at the moment. I'm almost 37, happily married with 2 gorgeous kids, 15 months and 4 1/2. Love them to bits of course! Just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. Yes, just the once, took morning after pill?

My first reaction was just cannot have it, I even went to see the doctor got a referal for Marie Stopes, phoned clinic for phone consultation and the morning of the phone call yesterday just broke down and thought I can't do it. We are in 2 bed house, we are planning to immigrate to Oz in December, hubby just in casusal work at the mo, worried about not coping with 3, all the usual concerns. Yet the more I think about it the more all of that is just not a good enough excuse for me! I kept looking at my kids and knew even before I had done it I would regret it. I had an abortion at 19 and have never regreted it, I knew at the time that was 100% what I wanted and I think that is the key. Also of course I didn't have kids then. I feel that once the baby is here you will never regret it, yet for me at least there was a huge chance I may have regrets if I terminated.

I am lucky that hubby is totally behind me and even though all common sense is saying this is not a good idea, we are following our hearts and going ahead. I am terrified though, we are from SA and don't have support system of family here so it is hard as it is. Our relationship was just starting to get back on track. I know it is going to be hard but I keep imagining a few years down the line and slowly the first glimmer of excitement is starting to appear.

Would love to hear from anyone with similar experience xx

Termination

Hi,
I have read your post and I am in the exact situation as you are. I am also from South Africa and happily married with no support system and I am already 37 years old. Always thought that people going for abortions are sleezy but now I find myself in that same boat.

I only have one child, he was born 5 months ago and my during my pregnancy I've developed severe preeclamsia but being on the NHS they didn't want to give me a c-section. I almost lost my life during labour and it's still all too fresh in my memory. I have done 4 home pregnancy tests with the hope that there might have been a mistake but it is still showing positive. First reaction was "abortion" but then I had a good sleep and the next day (yesterday) I was thinking "no, you can handle this" but today after some serious thinking, I have also decided that the best option would be termination. There are just too many things that I need to take in consideration, the age gap between the two babies, me still recovering from my previous labour expierence and my husband starting a new business exactly when this new baby is due. I will also have to get a c-section this time due to my high risk of getting preeclamsia again during of before the labour.

I assume that you have gone for the termination - please please tell me how it went and if you had severe regrets afterwards. I need to know if I am doing the right thing here.

thanks in advance and I know how how you feel.

Termination

Hi
I hope you are your baby survive this ordeal.
All the best
Casey

Hi fayehy and tico...

Fayehy, how is it going for you? It sounded like you had made a wonderful decision to keep your child and not terminate. Is everything ok for you and your family?

Tico133, sorry to hear about the situation. First, people going for abortions are not sleazy. Though some women do it very lightly, most realize it is a serious thing. In your case, it sounds like you realize how serious it is and that you've have gone back and forth on the issue. You should still take the time for some more deep reflection. Everyone is different, but the majority of women do experience regret after abortion, even if they don't think they will.

If your life is truly in serious danger from having the baby, you definitely need to take that into consideration. On the other hand, everyone is different, but things like the age gap probably aren't a reason to have an abortion. Many happy families have children close together in age. So just consider what's really important, like your own life, and what isn't as important. Will they let you talk to more than one doctor so you can get multiple opinions? Also, it's not the same as talking in person, but do you have support back home, someone you can talk to online or by phone, trusted family, friends, clergy if any? I'm sure you've thought of all this but am really concerned. Let us know how it goes. All best wishes to you and your family. Peace!

You go girl!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Everything happens for a reason, and this baby will be your special blessing when you and your husband are older.

Very brave, but very right also.

Best Wishes
Siobhan xx