Tearing me apart...

Hello, im looking for some advice i suppose. I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and it wasnt planned, my hubby and i already have 4 healthy children,with the youngest just started full time school. My hubby doesnt want this baby and i feel so bad. Its so hard. He wants me to terminate,reasons being that we simply cannot affored another child. I dont currently work,my hubby provides for the family but we dont have much once the rent/car/bills etc have been paid. We dont go out much. My eldest is 13 and 2nd eldest is 12 and they are at the age where they want to go out with friends, go here and there so really cost us more than the younger 2. I am very confused. I feel guilty if i go ahead because of my children, i feel that they may suffer. Also if i decide to keep it, my hubby will not be happy. Dont get me wrong, he's been agonising over the situation but believes its for the best that we dont have it.
Id also like to point out that i have 4 boys, and im torturing myself that this "might" be my girl i so badly want
I have an apt this fri for a councelling "chat" at the BPAS what should i do????
I cant win either way....if i have it i will upset the family but if i get rid of it, il have to live with the terrible guilt.

Any advice??

xx

Other counselling

Hi there, this is a tough dilemma and I feel for you. As you may be aware, BPAS are abortion specialists. It's what they do. It's how they stay in business, so you may not get unbiased advice about all the options available to you. Check out www.pregnancy.org.uk or www.careconfidential.com/ - they have info online, and a phone number and centers nationwide where you can have an in person chat about abortion and all your choices. Please let us know how you get on. Best of luck to you. Peace!