My experience with surgical abortion-if you are worried, please read.

Hi,
I thought I would give you guys an idea of what to expect if you are having a surgical abortion. The worst part is often not knowing what to expect (it was for me) and any help at all is better than none.

Firstly, I don't want to dwell too much on who I told and who I didn't tell, as it's personal and I would rather talk about what actually happened, as I think it could help more.

I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago. I'd been feeling rough for a bit, and I did it as a precaution, which later turned out to be positive. Of course, my whole world stopped. I was shocked, upset, confused. There was only ever one option for me and that was to have an abortion. As muh as I love my boyfriend, neither of us are financially, emotionally and psychologically stable enough to provide a good life for a child. It would never have been fair.

My advice is to see a doctor as soon as possible. You often have to wait up to a week for a hospital consultation and up to a week again for the actual procedure. Of course, if you are quite far along, it 'makes sense' to get help as soon as possible. Even if you want to keep the child, or are unsure, please please go to the doctor. Luckily for me, my doctor was very supportive although I know that's not often the case. If you find you are having problems, ask to speak to another doctor. You are well within your rights. Failing that, contact a Brook or Marie Stopes clinic. They can help you too.

I was referred for my initial consultation on Monday, a week after my initial doctor's appointment. I have to say, this was quite traumatic, due to the fact I had no idea what to expect. Plus you are often in for a long wait, so bring a book or magazine, which makes the feeling worse. I was weighed, measured and had my blood pressure taken. Then I was called in to see the nurse, who asked me a few questions concerning the pregnancy. She then conducted an STI test for chlamydia and gonorrhea (hospital procedure) which was very much like a smear test. I then had to undergo an internal examination by the consultant to confirm how pregnant I was. I cannot lie and have to say, the internal examination was by far the worst part of the whole experience for me. It was not painful, but very uncomfortable. Luckily, it only last for about a minute at most.

I opted for a surgical abortion, as I simply could not wait another week for a medical abortion. I had made up my mind, and I suffered quite a lot with sickness, dizziness, tiredness, loss of appetite. Plus, I was 9 weeks pregnant and the surgical procedure would be much safer.

My abortion wason Wednesday, which left a day for me to get ready. I suffered several panic attacks during this period. I simply did not know what to expect. I was terrified of what could go wrong. I'd never had a general anaesthetic before. The pre-op procedures had seemed so scary. They had asked so many questions about my health, had taken 3 blood tests, plus swabs for MRSA. It fees at the time that it is a much much bigger procedure than it actually was. You jsut have to rememvber it is only their job, and part of the process. It's for your benefit in the end.
Of course, it was easier for me because I was so determined what to do. If you have any doubt, I cant even imagine how difficult it could be.

Anyway, the day came. I had to check in at 7.30, which made it a very long day (8 hours exactly). I was unbelievably nervous, and what had made it ten times worse was that I couldn't eat or drink a thing. I felt sick, dizzy, tired. They explained what would happen (I would be given a pessary to loosen my cervix) and I had my blood pressure taken countles times. It all became quite real when they put the tag on my wrist.

I spoke to the consultant, who was quite brusque. I became even more worried when I spoke to the anaesthetist who was very much like Mr. Bean. It's just human paranoia to immediately say 'I don't trust him'. However, he actually turned out to be the sweetest guy ever.

I was given the pessary an hour before the procedure. It didn't hurt at all, was a little uncomfortable, and was told to expect some bleeding and pain. Luckily, I was fine, but it all seemed so scary as I was told to wait on my trolley in my gown.

When they came to take me to surgery, I burst into tears. I was absolutely petrified, and it made it worse I had to wait nearly half an hour in a holding bay. Luckily the nurses were amazing and kept me talking whilst I waited.

I was wheeled to the anaesthesia room, which I won't deny was terrifying. However, the anaesthetist was very comforting and the nurse was brilliant. I was given an oxygen mask, hooked up to a blood pressure machine, and then connected to a heart monitor.

I was told to breathe deeply, whilst they found a vein in my hand. Unfortunately, they couldn't find one and had to flush one of my veins with fluid to open it up. It wasn't painful, very much like a sharp cat scratch, and then they connected the cannula. I was given the anaesthetic, which was the strangest feeling. It was quite scary initially, as it felt like my heart was going to stop. It was an incredibly strong, warm feeling that spread from my chest to my arms, and down through my body. I don't remember it going to my legs as the next thing that happened was me waking up in recovery.

I felt so tired, weak, and a little sick. I had mild pain, like a period pain, at first but as the anaesthetic wore off, it understandably became worse. The weirdest feeling was losing time, and not remembering ANYTHING.

Waking up was almost like having a bad hangover. The anaesthetist came to see me to check I was alright, although I couldn't speak that well. I fell back asleep for a while, and when I woke up, I felt sick, dizzy and still tired. Plus I was in quite a bit of pain.

But honestly, the worse pain came from how uncomfortable the chair they put me in was. It really hurt my back! The pain from the procedure is comparable to a bad period pain. It became much better after I had some pain relief and felt well enough to sit up and walk around.

I came around quite quickly, after an hour or so. My blood pressure was quite low so I had to take it easy, in case I fainted, but it turned out to be a case of bad dehydration. They kept plying me with water and then gave me the best toast I have ever had in my life. After nearly 14 hours of starvation, it was like heaven.

It took nearly two hours after I had come round to be discharged. Usually you only stay an hour and a half, but if you feel rough, they by no means kick you out. One man opposite me came out of surgery an hour before me and didn't leave until I did.

The most pain I felt was the cannula in my hand. It was sore and got in the way of everything, specially when I was getting changed. Having it removed was a great relief, believe me! However be prepared to put up with it right until you are ready to be discharged.

I felt some mild pain last night, but after a good night's sleep, I woke up feeling fine. I have experienced some blood loss, but only like the end of a period so far. The girl next to me had the same procedure and whilst she had no pain, she lost quite a bit of blood. It really depends on the person.

The only pain I feel today is from my hand, where it is stil quite sore and in my leg, where they gave me the contraceptive injection following the operation. They give you the option of this and my advice is take it.

Now a day after, I feel a bit uncomfortable as you do when you'reo n your period. The nurse told me it would take 48 hours for me to feel back to normal and to avoid exercise until then. She said to expect pain and bleeding for up to 4 weeks!

All in all, the worst part was the waiting (at least for me) and now I just feel relieved it's over. To some that might sound terrible, but I'd made my mind up, and although I had been initially devastated, I just wanted it over.

Honestly, the worst part of it for me was the waiting and the fear of the unknown. Luckily, the nurses and doctors were very supportive and I think support is key to getting through something which is very traumatic.