First pregnancy at 23 - abortion??

Hi All,

I'm really not sure what to say here, i'll try to explain my situation as best as possible!

I have a boyfriend, we've been together for 10 months but he has huge commitment issues and has found it hard up until now to let his barriers down with me. Soon after we met he told me he'd had a one night stand before we met and she was going to have his child, (she was born in May this year). He wasn't at all happy about her decision to go ahead with the pregnancy but now she is here he loves his daughter to bits.

I recently found out that i'm 6 weeks pregnant, well, I found out 3 nights ago! It wasn't planned as I was on Cerazette and took it religiously, so was quite a shock for both of us! My initial reaction was to have a termination due to the fact that I know that he would not want another child just yet NOR be ready to make that commitment to me, along with the prospect of having to grow up and settle myself!! But since, I've found myself becoming really attached to it (even though i know its only the size of a lentil and not developed much yet).. And the thought of being a Mum actually fills me with joy and i find not ONE bit of me wanting a termination.
I don't want to lose my boyfriend but at the same time, and I know i'm only 23, but I might not get another chance like this, where i feel 100% ready to bring up a child!

I'm torn as to what to do as he's made it VERY clear that he does not want this child at all, (we had 'The chat' last night) and since, I can't stop myself from crying and feeling so empty! I don't want to end up hating him for making me have a termination but i don't think I could be with him now either way!

Help me people, Sorry for the essay....

Any help is appreciated muchly!!

Carly

Could it be pass

Hi Carly
Press on with preparing for the babies arrival, in fact she is already here, it just takes time for her to grow, then you will hold her in your arms and gaze in her eyes. Your boyfriend is having a difficult time adjusting to the idea, be kind and strong towards him and remember that he is most probably suffering from PASS.
Congratulations on becoming
Casey

Wow!

Hello carlylouise,
I feel so happy for you just reading your message, the excitement really comes through! It really sounds like you already know deep down what you want to and have to do. You say you are filled with joy and totally dont want to terminate. You already feel a strong attachment to the baby, who is even now growing like crazy every hour and every day and already has all the parts and is a little person just like you or me!

It could be that your bf is just having cold feet or doesnt want to feel like he is a baby daddy with kids from multiple mothers but you know what, that is his concern not yours. Maybe he will come around but if he doesnt, someone better will come along someday. Drolazieri is right that no matter which way you decide, you dont want to spend your life with someone who would really force you to choose between him and the baby. One thing you cant replace is your child and another thing you cant replace is, like you said, this opportunity of feeling as joyful and ready as you do! You are going to be a GREAT mother, so let yourself feel good and enjoy the experience! You might want to check out pregnancy.org.uk for additional advice or to find out about resources for pregnant mums. Best of luck and keep in touch. Peace!