Advice on my situation

im 6 weeks pregnant to the man i one day hope to marry. i already have a daughter who is 6 and has servere learning difficulties and suffers from epilectic fits. i am not afraid of saying that i find it very hard at times to look after her. she lashes out quite alot and spits etc. i have come to the decision that having any more children is not a option for me. my daughter couldnt cope with someone else taking attention away and i would be scared for the baby. my doctor has referred me for a abortion but has asked me if i would like to be reffered to a specialist for sterilisation. this will be my third abortion in10 years and i have always used contraception but i must be in the 2% of women that it dosnt always work for. im so scared to do have this abortion but i know its for the best. i dont want to have to go through this again and know that having more children is not a option but what happens in 10 year and i change my mind? im sterile and carnt have anymore then what? my boyfriend loves me and have always been up front with how i feel he says he has his family me and my daughter but what happens if he changes his mind?

I wrote you a private message...

Are you still here?
Bye

Some thoughts for you

Hello there,

Oh, you are really caught in a situation here. Not like you didnt know that, right? You believe its not in your plan to ever have any more kids, but youre not sure about having a termination.

I wouldnt be scared for the baby It doesnt sound like your daughter is physically violent toward others and anyway theres a natural instinct for family members not to hurt each other. And you are in a good relationship with a man who loves you and surely will give you all the help you need to take care of your family and make sure everybody gets the attention they need and deserve.

I really cant tell you whether its a good idea to go for sterilization or not. Unlike abortion, you can undo it if you change your mind, but like abortion the reversal comes with risks, and also its not guaranteed to work.

Youve already been there and it seems like your gut feeling is that you dont want to go through another termination. You might change your mind after its too late. Right now you think you dont want any more children but as you said, you might not have the chance later when you want it. Could it be now is the time? There are always challenges but....

Anyway repeated abortions can be bad news; it can increase your risk of infertility and miscarriage later, and if you decide thats not something youre worried about, other risks include chronic pain and very dangerous tubal pregnancies. See this link:

http://yourtotalhealth ... risks-repeated-abortion.html

That ivillage is NOT a pro-life site and does not seem to be biased in any way.

It might help to get some counselling about ways you could make your new and bigger family work. Check out http://pregnancy.org.uk, or http://www.adoption.org.uk/ if that is something you would consider.

Do let us know how it goes. Wish you and your family all the best no matter what. Peace.