Any advice please?

hi

i have recently found out that i am pregnant at the age of 38. this has come as a shock as we were using contraception and i have decided to have a medical abortion (appointments saturday and monday). however, i have recently had a week off work with flu, just before I found out. then last week (when i found out) i had to get a doctors note for my second week of absence. however i am now due back in work on monday when my second appointment is due. my dilema is whether to try and get another doctors note (but how long can he drag out notes for flu??!!) or try and get monday off work then i'd have to go in on tuesday. even trying to getthe monday off after 2 weeks sick leave isn't going to go down well. i'm devastated by what i'm going through and all the worrry about work isn't helping. my job is office based, and i would be sitting all day. could anyone who has had a medical abortion advise whether i might be able to go into owrk the day after.

many thanks xx

I wrote you a p.m.!

Bye!

Same

hey I sort of had the same problem, just get a note you are having a sergery, and say you have a cyst on your overiest or something! You are put under an anestetic, and a tube is put in your throat to keep you breathing. I went to the movie store after and fainted alot. Go straight home, and you need atleast three days before you go back to work, and make sure they give you pain killers! Good luck! The most painful part is the needle, then you fall asleep without relizing it, wake up and its all over.

Reality

Hi Angelbee
I read your post last nioght and I think you may be out of touch with the reality of what is going on in your life. I think you need to take time off from work and think about what is really happening. One question to ask is why is your job so important when it causes you all this worry, so much worry you cannot even think about your personal situation with any clarity.
You are not able to decide on the medical situation until you get back some feeling for yourself. I suggest you do not take any pills for now.
Please write and let me know.
Casey

Advice

Hi--Realistically I'm sure it is possible to go back into work the next day as anything you set your mind to is possible. However is it a good idea--NO!! Even if you did feel physically decent enough to go in who is to say you will feel mentally and emotionally capable of holding it together? I would say if you have no choice but to go in to work the day after-be very honest with yourself about how you will be emotionally-because physically it is possible although most likely not idealistic.

No

NOT POSSIBLE! i tried going to block buster, and fainted like eight times and started convulsing, sort of like a seisure. I was really weak for two days, and I phoned the dr and its just a side effect of the anestetic.

Hi Angelbee,

I wanted to say hi, and hope you're over the flu. I'm in bed with that very same lovely virus!! After reading your post a couple of times, something struck me as a little bit strange about the way you have written this. I hope I don't cause any offense when I say this, so please don't get upset.

I got the sense that you are in a real panic about work, and that you feel very stressed to be away from work, and that having an appointment for an abortion might only get in the way of work as well.

I wondered if you already have any children? I know that at 38, you'll be approaching the age when I suppose most girls start thinking of having someone to take care of themselves?

I just wanted to say that perhaps you should not worry so much about work, and try to give yourself some time to think about your beautiful child growing within your womb, which is a truly wonderful time.

I was in a hightly stressful and very competitive career for 10 years, I had great money, nice holidays etc, and then I got married and fell pregnant immediately. It was a complete shock. I went througout my pregnancy wondering if I could love a baby: my focus was completely on being driven, keeping up at work, and being on top of my game. And then I had a baby girl! I couldn't believe that I had a daughter. And now, I'm a mum, i've adjusted, and I know that if I hadn't had the grace to just accept where my road was taking me, with my pregnancy, then my life would still be an empty one. There's only so many bottles of wine, nice meals, ski holidays and good company needed before it seems a bit empty.

I've gone on here, but look, from one flu sufferer to another, just sod work for a bit, put off this appointment, and give yourself some time. I know it's really scary, but I've spent the day being cuddled by a sniffly little girl who at 18 months old loves cakey, make-up, dressing up, and anything girly. Children are a blessing. Perhaps give yours a chance?

Best wishes
Lou x

Update...

Hi Everyone

Thanks for your messages. In reply to your message Lou (no offence taken either!) I do already have children, 3 in fact! My eldest is 14 and youngest 10. My middle child is severely disabled and there is risk this child could have been too. I think the pregnancy came as a major shock and as work is very unsettled at the moment I found myself in a very confused, worried state.

Anyway I have now calmed down and yes, I did go for the abortion today. I had a medical abortion and can honestly say it was nowhere near as bad as I expected. I'm not saying it was easy and i did find it very emotional as it was performed in the same hospital as i had my 3 children. However, I had read all the accounts on here of how horrendous it would be and hoped that passing on my experience may help others who were as scared as myself. I arrived at 8am and was given two tablets and watched tv. Had an en-suite room which was good. 10am given tea and toast, still no pain. 12 midday they brought me lunch and as nothing had happened gave me 2 more tablets. 1pm light bleeding, told to walk about room, still no pain. 1.15pm passed what i thought was the preganancy, only a couple of twinges, told to use bedpan but i didn't look at what was in it. Nurse took it away then confirmed it had been passed. Was observed for a further hour and then told i could go home. I'm now tucked up on the sofa with 2 of my kids. I am relieved that today is over as I hardly slept last night worrying, but I would like some others to possibly feel reassured by my experience. However, abortion will never be easy and I would never want to go through this again though. If anyone wants to talk, im here xxx