Abortion dilema

I am considering an abortion and im in a complete dilema. I'm 40 years old, have a 6 year old boy and an 8 month old baby boy and have just found out i'm pregnant again. If i were 10 years younger and my youngest as a bit older there would be no question, i would have the baby, but i'm worried i won't be able to cope with the baby i already have and a new one- especially as i'll be 41 years old when it's born. I'm torn between feeling guilty if i have a termination and feeling guilty towards my two children if i can't cope with another baby. My husband is leaving the decision up to me, he will be fine whatwever i decide. I've also read that the pills i'll have to take cause unbearable pain and i'm worrying abouty that. Please help.

Ask him to be supportive and go with you on this journey

HI dominic104
I had a sister very close in age, 15 months apart, and I have two neices 13 months apart, it is good, it is like being twins, we hate being apart. Yes, there will be family squabbles at times but that is normal. You are coming to the end of your baby making days and you would most probably regret not having this baby, you will look at your 8 month old and see the empty place where this baby fits in your family. You will find the strength and your man is broadly supportive. Well done you, you are an amazing woman with everything going for you, soon you will feel very positive about it and start to look at the future with new eyes.

All the best Casey

Hi

If you are in a happy relationship maybe you should just have the baby. Your age isn't a big deal and your 6 year old would probably be delighted with another brother or sister.
I can only speak of my own experience and I know everyone reacts differently but I had a medical abortion a few days ago and the pain was absolutely unbearable. I was on my knees praying to god for mercy, crying my heart out. I'm not exaggerating but as I said it might not be the same for everyone. It's not to scare you at all - it's just I was told I would experience 'some cramping' and I wasn't prepared for what was ahead of me.
I hope you come to a decision that is best for you and your family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You can do it!

Hello! I think you should keep this baby. Not sure why you think you wouldn't be able to cope ... like darkangelmosher said, 40 is not old and 41 is NOT old either! Also you're comparing two different kinds of guilt as though they were equal, but they're not, really. Adding another younger sister or brother to the mix isn't going to hurt your other kids ... the love of a mother and a family has a funny way of multiplying when a new member comes along, not decreasing. On the other hand, denying your baby a chance to live is a whole different kind of thing that you would have to live with. Some mothers ... and fathers ... are fine after the abortion and some simply are not, even if they expect to be. Or you might feel emotionally fine for awhile after the procedure and then it hits you what really happened. So the two choices you are torn between aren't comparable. As far as your own physical pain from the pills, that varies by person too. Some do ok, some have pain as well as (in rare cases) very severe side effects (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/18/national/18abort.html ). Anyhow, please believe in yourself and know that if you choose to let this child have a chance, you will do fine. Sincere best wishes to you whatever the future holds. Keep in touch. Peace!

I wrote you a pm.

Bye!

Hey hun

I'm sure you will be able to cope hun, your already coping with two kids. 40 isn't old btw so all this 10 years younger malarkey is nonsense lol.

I'm 23 years old and have a 18 month old boy and a 4 week old baby girl (that would be the same age gap between your baby boy and new baby i think). I think you need to sit down with your husband as its both of you who need to make the decision not just you. I'm sure you will be able to cope, I'm not gonna lie it is hard with two young babies but tbh not as hard as I thought. I was scared at the beginning and wanted an abortion but so glad I didn't go through with it.

Sorry I cant help you on the pills but I have no idea. Good luck with whatever you choose hun. PM me anytime for a chat.

Love Toni, Rhys and Lily x x x

I'm happy

Hi darkangelmosher
I am glad you are enjoying you experience with you two babies.
All the best for your family future
Casey