I hope this will help you

I was looking through all of these discussions and thought i should write a message to try help some of you.

I had an abortion in August 08. I was 15 at the time and was 12 weeks pregnant. I thought it was what i wanted, but afterwards i really regretted it. I was an emotional wreck for weeks later and could not stop thinking bout the baby that i killed. Nobody even knew that i was pregnant or about the abortion and i felt really loney. I dreaded the due date. For months later i thought about the baby every day and about what my life would be like if i had it.

I understand how you are all feeling at the moment but trust me it will get better. Its been over a year since i had the abortion and even though i still think about it sometimes i am glad of the decision i made in the end. I just want you to know that it does get a lot easier, and as time moves on you will feel better. Don't be feeling guilty because you obviously had a reason to do it and it will work out for the best in the end. Also talk to friends or family about how you feel dont keep it all bottled up. If anyone wants to talk please e mail me i would be happy to help.

Just remember this feeling will not be forever, soon you will be feeling a lot better. I hope this will make you feel happier.
All my love,
Ellie X.

.............

My experience was much the same as yours Ellie albeit I was 21 when I had my op.

3 weeks on I know I did the right thing. I often think about what could have been and there have been tears but at the end of the day I know I made the correct decision. I didn't and don't want to be a mum yet. I didn't even want kids until I found out I was preggers. I'm still emotionally scarred from it, but like you say I'm sure it won't last forever.

The whole experience has changed my mind and I do want babies - and possibly lots of them! - when the time is right.

For anyone who is undecided - the abortion process isn't as scary as it mind seem, take our word for it.

Thanks.

I think this is a really positive post as it will give women who are depressed about their abortions something to hang on to. I was worried that I would be messed up because of my abortion, especially since so many women write about years of regret and pain, but this post is really reassuring, as sometimes worrying about guilt and regret can make guilt and regret happen. In don't regret my decision at all, especially now I know that other women know they made the right choice too.

Thankyou muchly.

xLollyx

Puzzled

"Don't be feeling guilty because you obviously had a reason to do it and it will work out for the best in the end."
Hi Ellie
This statement is the crux of the matter, guilt is not a feeling, it is a state of being. In law if it is a crime it is a crime because the law says it is a crime. Feelings do not come into the equation. It is confusing, as so many women and girls insist that abortion was the right thing to do, how then can they talk of guilt? Please do write again as this is the thing that puzzles ,me most. Did you know that in Japan there is no word for "guilt" and yet the graveyards are littered with dolls that act as a memorial for aborted babies. Its a puzzle.
What sort of childhood did you have?
Every good wish for your full recovery
Casey

Guilt.

I understand where you're coming from, but guilt is both a feeling and a state of being. In law, you are found guilty for a crime, but people who are found guilty don't necessarily feel guilty. I think what she was saying is that if a girl has an abortion for a good reason, for example because the baby would have had a bad lifestyle or because it would affect any other children, then there is no need for them to feel guilty because they are not guilty. I don't think her philosophies have anything more to do with a troubled childhood then yours do.

Best wishes.

xLollyx

Thank you lolly

I am glad that i can help lolly. Just knowing that i made at least one person feel better makes me happy. We have all had horrible experiences and i think we should all help each other.

Thank you for explaining the guilt thing. What you wrote is exactly what i ment, but i just didnt phrase it right.
And i didnt have a troubled childhood at all. I came from a perfect family with two great parents. I just made a mistake, and i dont believe that me getting pregnant, or my decision to abort the baby had anything to do with my childhood.
Ellie X