hi everyone,
Im 10 weeks pregnant have a little boy whos nearly 2, and i had an abortion earlier this year, which was horrific and has left me with guilt every day since. I told my partner a couple of weeks ago and he just went mad, talks as if its my fault and ive let myself get pregnant. I agree with him that its not the perfect time for us to have another child but the thought of having another abortion is so painfull, dont think he understands just how hard it is to go through with it. It does'nt seem to matter what i say to him he wants me to have an abortion but he reacted the same when i told him i was pregnant with our little boy, ive tried to make him see that but he just keeps saying no. I dont want to loose him, hes a brilliant dad and boyfriend! i think my main problem is that hes not easy to talk.
I cant decide weather to go through with the abortion or not, I just wish he was happy about it and i wouldnt even have this problem, he would never leave me and our son but he would think differently about me if i dont go through with it. help

sorry ive rambled on but its helped also to get everything down.

i was 18wk when i found out and my boyfriend didnt want the baby and tried most hardest to get me to have an abortion for his SAKE. was his words aswell.
i never did, i wanted do what was best interests of the baby, and still to this day he doesnt seem understand
not kind of person you can really talk to about such serious matters
around 21wk we broke up, for a little while but got back together in the end.
he still to this day doesnt understand "whole process's" pyhsically and mentally what women have go through when having an abortion.

as a couple were fine, but he still hasnt came around to the whole idea, hopefully things change when baby arrives. just got do what you feel is for the best for you and unborn child

leighannex2
35wk4dy

your situation sounds quite like mine, its so frustrating how they don't really understand what your going through, he does'nt understand that my mind changes from day to day and when he is being extremly harsh and selfish it makes me not want to have a child with him, we talked last night but he just gets so angry .ive got a doctors appointment tomorrow to get refered for an abortion but i really dont want one. i think if i dont have one ill have to end our relationship, because me being pregnant seems to turn him into a horrible person not sure how much more i can take plus the hormones.
being a parent is the best feeling in the world treasure every cry and sleepless night its worth it. not long to go for you now!

im soooooooooo confused amy x

Hi I guess there is not much point in telling him that you did not quite manage to get pregnant all on your very own, that he had a role to play aswell. More things are at stake than you being right in this argument.

Seriously though you dont want to be going through with a second abortion. As you said he was not exactly thrilled with your very first pregnancy, but he is a very good dad to your little boy now.

I dont think he knows how awful abortion is, and does not realise the value of the little life that he wants to snuff out. He just sees it as the solution to his problems now.

I advised another girl whose mother wanted her to abort to show her mum pictures of what an aborted baby looks like as opposed to what a healthy pre-born baby looks like at her current gestation, but I am not sure that YOU looking at these grisly photos would be the best, seeing as you are already suffering the effects of your last abortion. Maybe you could get a friend to show him. Or even his mum or your mum. You must have an ally somewhere! These are really powerful but awful images. Just google it, or look up Priests for Life and follow the links. These pictures have saved countless little lives.

As for yourself, take care of yourself well, and be strong for your little 2 year old. They can wear you out! My oldest was the same age as yours when I was pregnant with the second, and I know it is not easy coping with both the toddler and the pregnancy.

Take extra care of your boyfriend now, even if you dont feel like it. Show him that you can be strong and you can cope. Dont even get into discussions about this pregnancy any more. Tell him you love him very much and that you keeping his baby, and change the subject or leave the room. Dont worry about him loving you less. You will probably be in his bad books for a while, but he will thank you for this child in years to come.

Big Hugs
Siobhan