Well looks like im going through with it,me and ryan have been putting it off for nearly 2 months now but i woke up today and thought right something has to be done. We rang a family planning clinic and they were able to see us at 12:40 today. So we both went there, i was so nervous still part of me thinking am i doing the right thing even though deep down i know i am. Saw the docter and she has given us a referral letter for an abortion. Its on Wednesday at 12:15 in Ealing at a Marie Stopes clinic.Im so scared, i cant believe that its all going to happen so fast but then i am a bit happier now as i can focus on christmas after this and not have this hanging over me.
Theres been some brilliant people on here who have left me comments and they have helped me through this hard time, but i am now half way there.
I'll let you all know how it goes,leave me any comments you want!
x x x

I had a surgical abortion and its the biggest regret of my life reading all this mines booked for this i can't say don't do it but its makin me cry thinkin that a poor baby is going to be killed. its always alright for everyone to say i cant cope with it but that baby is sittin in there right now unaware that you are going to just snuff its life out its not the babies fault.

Sorry i don't mean to souned horrible but speaking from experience these are the thoughts that constantly plague my thoughts im seriously depressed and unable to live with what i've done and there isnt a night inwhich i don't think about it especially as i am 31weeks pregnant again, 3 years on and it still hurts especially now i know the exact development my baby was at. Just look up the week ur at on the internet its a real life in there! Its too late for me now though ive done it. just please think about what you are doing. people always regret abortions but ive never heard anyone regretting having their children. theres always a way in which you can look after it.

Anyways i can only advise let me know what you do. xx and i hope you don't suffer like me when you do it.

Hiya just a quick message really just to say congratulations 1st of all,but secondly just to say im exactly the same as you had a termination at 14 weeks a few years ago and every single minute of everyday i think about what i did and regret it so much but all i think is that ive done it and i cant take it back think of the reasons you did it in the first place then it may help hope you get better soon and if not id maybe see your doctor because if your pregnant and thinking bout this you must be feeling teriable with the effects of the pregnancy nevermind anything else take care x

I think you were directing your posting to me. If so thank you for your thoughts, I value what you have to say trust me. I feel horible for what I am about to do, and I think about it all day and night and can't sleep. I feel it is the best thing for my life as well as the kids I already have. I know I sound selfish, and I feel it too. I was stupid enough to have put myself here and am about to do something stupid to get myself out of this situation.

I am truely sorry for your pain, and hope that when I go though it providing I don't change my mind (I don't see that happening), that I don't feel your pain.

Thanks for your thoughts and I wish you nothing but the best with this pregnancy!

1confusedgrl...

i dont mean to butt in but why are u writing as '1confusedgrl' if you're determined to go through with an abortion?

i dont mean to be cheeky when i say that but if you're confused i dont think you really are convinced that an abortion is the way to go.

i can appreciate the situation that you are in, what with your children and the situation with your OH and also your health. your kids would love a brother or sister i'm sure, and would it be that much harder with a wee baby? getting the older ones to help with the baby might bring you's closer together. would it be that much harder with 4 kids instead of 3 if the worst came to the worst with your OH and i'm quite sure your docs would be watching over you very closely if you were to continue with your pregnancy.

they might seem like major hurdles to climb but in reality they're not

another thing, have you asked your children how they would feel if you did have an abortion? its their brother or sister after all.

at the end of the day its your decision and i sincerely hope you make the right choice for you and your family.

good luck and take care, gail xx

Hey this is really hard for you i had an abortion last year june the 5th 06 and im finding it hard to cope i would off had it on new years eve and this year im finding it hard to forgive myself all i keep thinking is my baby would of been a year old i keep crying loads thinking i would have a baby now the only person that knows is my bf and my mate knew and told everyone and now they keep saying there gonna tell my family!! my family dnt belive in abortions so im stuck..... if anyone ever needs a chat im here cuz i cld sure do with a shoulder to cry on..... xxxxxx

You are not butting in at all, hey after all isn't this forum here for a reason? We are all here using it so please don't apologize.

I understand what you are saying and when I first signed up for this forum I had to think of a name hence "1confusedgrl". At the time I was completely confused and overwhelmed, which was only a week ago (that was when I first found out). Emotions were high and I kept swaying back and forth on what to do what not to do. Time has gone by, not much but enough time that I don't feel so confused and overwhelmed. It still hurts and I still feel horrible for the actions I am about to take once I turn 7 weeks.

As for my children, I would absolutely never ask or even think to bring up such a thing (abortion). They are just children, very young ones at that. It is beyond their comprehension. I understand it is their brother or sister but this is a subject way beyond their years and/or knowledge.

I would like to think if I at least terminated this pregnancy I will be here for the three children I have. You have no idea how scared I am at the thought of caring this baby to term and having that possibility of not just losing the baby but my (3) kid's losing their only Mother. Yes, the Doc's would watch over me and they even said they would but one of my Docs I just love and value her opinion said it would be best (for my health) to terminate. Yes, she said in the end it was my decision and she felt horrible for me. In fact she doesn't really agree with the whole abortion thing completely, in fact she (my Doc) just had a miscarriage herself, which made it even more difficult for me to tell her my situation because I had no idea of hers.

At the end of the day yes you are right it is my decision, but I hope it's one I can live with!

Take care and thanks for your thoughts

for your kids lives. When I was 11 my mum found herself unexpedly pregnant, and was seriously not happy about it. She was in full time employment, had 4 kids already and a big farm load of my dads to pay off.

To be honest nobody was particularly thrilled, but I tell you when my little sister came along she was such a treasure and a blessing. Yeah sure we resented as teeneagers having to stay in and babysit her sometimes, but a baby increases the love in a family. Only by giving love away do you get it back manyfold. My baby sister taught her siblings responsibility, sacrifice, how to love.

If your older children learn this from the new baby, and miss out on expensive or time consuming extra cirrucular activities then that is still a very good deal for them.

Really the best thing you can give your children is another brother or sister.

You will manage with another baby, and you will never look back. Connect your heart to the little heart beating in your womb and let yourself fall in love with this beautiful little soul.

Siobhan

Siobhan-

I hear you, I really do, but this is what is best for me and my family. You do not know me, not that you need to because you are completely one sided with your opinion and that's okay it works for you and you are entitled. As for me let me explain why I have come to the conclusion that it is best for me. I have been with my boyfriend for almost seven years now, we are not married and like others we have our ups and downs. There have been times I thought we were going to split up and go our separate ways (me and three kids, ages 11,7,4). Which would be extremely difficult seeing as I work for him and live in his house and drive his cars etc. etc. I know everyone can make it out there; there is plenty of help if it ever came down to us splitting up. That is just a little part of my life, not to mention about two years ago I was hospitalized and almost died from pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in my lungs). I am telling you this part because for me to be pregnant and carry this baby to term is extremely dangerous. Do I take that chance caring this baby to term and possibly ending up DEAD, leaving my three kids with no Mom at all? So now are you thinking along the same terms you were before and why I have come to saying "This is best for me"? I know you can't understand, or don't because I think regardless of any womans situation you are pro-abortion. I just want you to know that this has not been easy for me, and I DO NOT take this lightly. I am an adult and understand the consequences and outcome either way I go. I appreciate your words and thoughts and you are like I said entitled to your opinion. Unfortunitlly as much as I feel horible about this, believe it or not I do have a conscious... I know it is the best thing to do...

Thank you, take care!

I just read your post from last month and if you are still on this forum I would like to know if you went though with it? Please if you did let me know how it went and how you are doing now. I appreciate any input you have for me. I too am waiting for the surgical abortion; I am not far enough along to have it done yet. I was actually scheduled today for the medical one and opted out... scared I guess after reading articles about others that didn't have such good experiences.

If anyone else reads this too and would like to comment please do so.

Thanks
1confusedgrl

hope you end up doing what is best for you.
but dont expect just because your getting rid of means you can just focus on xmas, because im sure you'll see, if you do go ahead with the abortion, as im sure no women who has had an abortion has quickly getting over it.

all i want say is im glad i didnt abort my baby just because of my age of 18 & my boyfriend not accepting it. my little ones due in 3 weeks time

take care
leighannex2