Relationships

i need some advice. I'm 28 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3yrs. He is 11yrs older than me, divorced and has a 5yrs old son with his ex wife.

The problem is i feel ready to have a child of our own.....and yep he's saying no as we can't afford it (who can!)

We have our own house, we both work and i can't see what the problem is.

Just wondering whether anyone has been in the same situation, i don't want to leave him but i find myself thinking i will if he keeps putting it off.

M

Leaving him would be preferable if he really doesn't want...

My best friend finally 'obtained agreement' from her husband re: having a baby, after a long period of 'after we pay off the house' & 'after this' & 'after that' - finally all the roadblocks were gone, and they had the baby.

And he left her.

She would have been sooo much better off having understood up front he didn't want, and then finding a secure relationship elsewhere with someone who did want children. Now she is stuck with him in her life forever (because strangely, he loves the baby, but no longer loves his wife as a mother!), and it is a tough thing for her.

So my advice is similar to the other advice offered - don't think you can convince him, or that he will stay convinced if you do. He must truly be of the same mind as you are you are better off elsewhere, unless you don't mind the risk of him leaving and you having to deal with him in your & your child's life.

The standard line

if you really think that this "not being able to afford it" line is untrue, then I think the standard line is....

"well next year I'm having a baby, with or without you"

Selfish

No not you ...him,has he got the been there done that atitude..oh hang on ..I wonder of he got 'pushed out'of his wife's affections by the baby. Men hate that. And i guess he is already paying for one child...hmm ok play his game, ask him how much you need to save before you can have a baby.Tell him you will get some money saved and return to work afterwards. If you intend to stop work or go part time (remember he has experience)that will impact on your finances.What did his ex do , has he ended up paying for her too? Also if you get childcare that is going to cost you the same as working part time.
Your baby alarm clock is going off and it's blocking out some very real issues...if you go ahead without his consent how will you manage alone?
H