I have been in a relationship with my Boyfriend for over 1 year now. He has a 3 1/2 yrs old child from a previous relationship who he sees every day, since they live very near him and he still gets on with the mother which is a plus. He told me yesterday about him having other children, and the impact that would have on his older child. And what if the 2 of them are sick, who does he have to look after ... and other things like that. I think he is scared of abandoning his child when/if he has another baby one day. I said to him that one cannot love a child more than the other and when that comes around, if it does one day, things will just happen naturally. I am not sure what is going on in his head .. I can appreciate what he is saying ... I am not sure how to explain to him that things CAN work out ... I thought you all might have had similar experiences you could be able to share with me ...

Many thanks,

Long one, my husband 2 children from previous marriage when met, youngest 4, now 11.
When we lived nearby he saw them twice weekly, then weekly, then monthly then they were dumped on us by social services last December.

Nightmare they now live with us, but we do have a 3 year old son ourselves and I am trying to get pregnant again.

Its extreemley stressful, and obviously there is a pull in different directions, he may love his children equally but I challenge you to accept his if they ever came to live with you and upset your equilibrium, its a difficult situation.

I don't want to put a dampner on things but think this through very carefully.

Hi, I guess he has a guilt feeling with the child on his separation with the child's mother. I think you have nothing to worry.. things are gonna be okay..