9 year old tantrums help

my daughter is almost 10 and is driving me crazy , 2 hour screaming fits over really stupid things like she doesn't want a shower or to go to bed . she will not listen or do as she is told it's like jekyll and hyde please help

I have the same trouble

i have tryed everything, cuddles,shouting,ignoring it,punishing her for it....i think she has a fantastic personality and a good head on her shoulders,but when she cant get her own way she is horrible to me and her dad. I know ive spoilt her and it has alot to do with it,but i didnt realise giving so much would make her act like this,me and her dad have had a few rows lately,so im going to give her some one2one attention to see if it helps (its difficult with a 2year old son) i just had an opperation and still recovering,so its hard to play too.

Im sure if we just be there when they need us,support and love them no matter what,we will one day remember this and laugh at them x