I need some weight loss advice
Hi, Group.
When I met my wife more than 10 years ago she was a shapely gal. She could have lost a few pounds but it was never an issue. Fast forward a few years and things are worse in that department. She won't actually ever tell me her weight but based on clues she has given me over the past few years I estimate her to be about 200lbs (she's 5 '6"). I do all the cooking at home so I have (almost) complete control over what she eats. I try to buy healthy food like low fat beef for burgers and we eat a lot of chicken. She's tried dieting before but never exercise. The few times we have discussed her weight (she needs to bring it up, I don't have the balls) she says things like "I don't know what to do, I've tried everything" but that's a complete lie. She hasn't. We have exercise equipment in the house but she doesn't use it (except to hang stuff on). I've tried to explain to her that if she burns off more calories than she takes in, she can't help but lose weight...but it doesn't make a difference. She gets up in the morning, gets ready for work, goes to work, comes home and sits down and that is her for the night until it's bedtime. The only exercise she gets is basic walking around the house or at work e.g. walking from the car park to the office. Our sex life has been pretty much non-existent for years now and it's bugging me but I don't know how to bring up the topic. I know she hates her weight but I don't know why she won't do anything to help herself. She snacks all the time but if I mention that she gives me some response like, "it's just a little snack". Before people assume that I'm only concerned about physical appearance, here's some areas of our lives that have been affected by her weight:
1. wedding - we got married quickly but I think we both kind hoped to have a nice wedding. However, that never happened because my wife wanted to look good in a dress.
2. kids - the only way she would have kids is if she lost some weight first. She never did, now she considers herself to old and it's too much of a risk.
3. clothes - she hates the clothes she has to wear because of her size so that can cause some aggravation when we're getting ready to go out places.
I love my wife but I'm not physically attracted to her in that way any more. That hurts to say and I feel guilty for saying it but she doesn't even try. In fact, I try harder than she does. I try to cook healthy and I try to cook her chicken breasts every week so that she can take them into work and have them with salad for lunch. If I forget to do the chicken breasts, she doesn't bother. I've read many websites that say things like help out, get involved but I've been doing that for years and I still don't see anything happening. The few times she has dieted I think she goes about it the wrong way. She counts every single calories, weighs her food exactly, etc. (both of which are not bad things to do) but she relies solely on controlling her food intake. I can't get her to take care of her body. I've started exercising regularly in an effort to get her to take notice and join in. It's difficult to talk about it with her because when she does she gets upset. I've never been mean to her about her weight. I've never told her that she has to lose weight but I'm getting close to the edge. I don't want to live out the rest of my marriage like this. I would be more sympathetic if I saw her trying and failing. That would inspire me to help her more but when all the effort is coming from me I find myself thining, "what's the point?" I can't lose weight for her.
Thanks, M
| 
