My names hollie and i'm tired of making myself sick

i'm 18 years old and already i feel like i have been naive enough to let the relationships in my life drag me down. both of my ex boyfriends have told me i wasn't good enough for them and that i was fat.
i never EVER saw myself as fat as i am i size 8/10.
soo i started starving myself.
eventually i gave up cos i was hungry i stuffed my face to fill the emptyness. but all it did to me was make me feel worse than i already did.
i am seeing someone now and i am back to size 8, rather than a 4 to 6.
now i feel even though i have told him some things that have happened in the past... and he has been very supportive, i feel myself slipping back into old habbits.
now everytime i have a full meal; i keep making myself sick
i'm tired of not being good enough.
help.