I am Kellie and I have hated myself as long as I can remember. I don't know why, or the cause. I just went through a break up, where he cheated on me, and I know I drove him to it with my attitude. I need to know it wasnt all me. He is a druggie, and I tried so hard to get him to stop. I never did anything with him because I always felt not good enough, or pretty enough, I would always feel like running and hiding. I don't know why. I always think I am fat, and never want to try anything new. I have been a cutter, and when I cut myself I feel better, is that weird. I hung in with this man because I loved him, I lost my kids for 2 years because, of false abuse charges on him, I now think I am a fool because I stood by him even when we were homeless, then he cheats on me, I had to move out live right down the street from him, I see them driving by and she is in my spot, him and I are trying to be friends, but I keep wanting to kick the crap out of both of them, for makeing me look like a fool. It's just been two weeks and I am still haveing issues.,and have bad dreams.
Somebody help me,
Kellie

Hey Kellie

You need to understand that he was not worth your love and loosing your kids over.
What you need is some good freinds who will help you through this hard time.
Can you get an exchange well away from him?
You didnt force him to cheat on you he did that all by himself.
I hope you have your kids back and stay away from him if hes still on drugs.
Go get a make over and thank your lucky stars that you have the chance to be a real mum to your kids and learn to love yourself cos you deserve to be happy.
All the best for the future

Sarah ( Ladyrogue )

Hai Kellie, no wants to sad but its like to be part of our life. We can't avoid the fact of reality. We do not know how God created us as human being and He allowed us to go in through all the dificulties for as long we live. No matter pretty or not God give this to everyone of us. Remember we human are very special in God eye, He want us to accept what ever we are. Try to be positive to your self. Don't think a fool to your self. You are not only one who feel that emotion. Think positively and avoid stressful thinking. Love you self, try to say I love myself and pray to God who is know everything you need because no body knows exactly what we need.

No body can help you, nobody understand well about you other then youself and Jesus Christ.

Have a nice day for you.

BODON KAALING
KOTA KINABALU, SABAH, MALAYSIA

Hi, It's not you fault, he shouldn't have cheated on you at all. If he was annoyed with you attitude he should have at least said something, I know what it's like to feel fat and not pretty and be a self harmer, I'm 14 nearly 15 and I'm gettin help at the moment. I think you should go to your doctor, tell them about your problems, get it all out. I know you're trying to be friends with him but I believe the first step you have to take to get your life back on track is to distance yourself away from him as far as possible, even though you live down the street. What helped me apart from seeing a councillor is taking up boxing and getting my stress out on my exercises. it makes me feel 100 times better, if you have time take up a competetive sport when you're feeling a bit better and for e.g boxing, imagine its your ex and his gf's head on a pillow and beat the f*** out of it (lol) dont have to(ive got a very imaganative mind, lol?)and its not weird to feel better after cutting.when i did it it was like a release from pain and ive still got horrible scars all over my body from 6months ago. its not nice. please get help from a councillor or someone you trust.xxx i hope ive helped, if not sorry take care hun xxx

dont go thinking for one moment its your fault-nobody with addictions is capable of putting their partner or anyone else 1st-the addiction will always be number 1...darls never never choose anyone over your kids!! and how do you know the charges were false? cutting yourself is not ok-i know its hard to use other ways of dealing with stress- but it can be done-talk to a doc-please...now why on earth do you want to be friends with him???? that is just beating yourself up more...c`mon kiddo move on-you are worth so much more than him...youre articulate and obviously intelligent-leave him in the past and never look back!! take care xx