Hi
I have been down for a long time - since school - I just have no confidence in myself - I hate myself and just want to fade away

I've tried anti-depressants - they heighten all my anxiety made me so much worse - made all my self-hate thoughts worse - and I got to the point where I just couldn't cope and i took overdose - a pretty bad one and the doctors said i was very lucky to come out of it with out any ongoing helath problems.

I've tried counselling but i always skirted around my real feeling - because when i say them out loud they sound so stupid - but what it all comes down to is i hate the way i look i hate feeling fat and ugly all the time.

I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 years and my lack of confidence has always been a problem - i constantly think he wants to leave or he wants to cheat on me and i know i am pushing him away and probably pushing him to do the things i am scared of him doing.

What can i try now? where do i turn - i don't want to be like this i want to be happy - i want to be able to go out on a night out with friends and my boyfriend and not feel that he is always looking elsewhere at prettier girls - i want to be able laugh and mean it and to feel secure in myself

Any ideas would be much appreciated - thanks for reading
sam

Have you tried St John's Wort? You can buy it in tablet form or even teabags. It's meant to be good for reducing depression.

I can relate to what you're feeling a bit, always feeling insecure, etc. Just keep reminding yourself that your boyfriend chose to be with you for a reason... cos he thinks YOU'RE the best girl out there! Best of luck hun. Shaz x