Is this depression?

For as long as i can remember i have had very low self confidence. I look in the mirror and see nothing right about myself. I hate being naked as i am flat chested and although my bmi says im the right weight for my height i think im flabby and fat. Ive been bullyed my whole life, and even though now im not surrounded by immature bullys people still pick fault with me and point out the worst things about me. Ive been told im ugly, flat chested, weird, bad posture and that my hairs like straw. I dont understand why people say this stuff to my face and it makes me hate myself. People i get on with also ... behind my back about everything i do. Lately i keep having like flashbacks, but this stuff hasnt happened, for example if i walk over a grid in my head ive fallen down it and died , or if i walk across the road in my head i can see myself being knocked down by a car. I dont understand why i have started thinking like this, i dont want to kill myself or self harm or die, so i just dont know why it comes into my head.
Its not like im always low and sad, i just feel i need someone to talk to and help me put things into perspective.
Does anyone understand any of this?
x

I understand how your feeling

I have very similar feelings to you. and i wouldnt admit this to anyone else but i do have thoughts about slitting my wrists quite a lot. I really have no intention of doing it. But i imagine it all the time and it does my head in.

I have self esteem issues and weight issues and i worry a lot about things. I also leave really important things i.e. paper work speeding fines etc and worry myself sick about them but dont do anything about them. At xmas i got took to court for not responding to a speeding fine and got into more trouble over it because i did nothing.

I dont understand why i am like this. I think i am depressed but put a very brave face on it.

I hope i havent depressed you more. YOu are not alone in the way you are feeling.

Perhaps you could ask your gp to refer you to the practice councillor.

Take care

.

Im sort of the same in the way of leaving things , i constantly worry about work i have to do for my foundation degree but i just leave it . I worry im going to fail and it will be a waste of time and money.

I also wouldnt speak to anyone else about this, and i worry loads that someone on here knows me
Everyone seems to think im fine, but then i broke down in work after some nasty comments from someone and then the rest sort of realised i cant take it. Theyr back to doing it again tho.

I wish i could do something to help you, i hate to hear that other people are down, and much rather look after others than myself.

x