"Thinking about giving up alcohol "

I have decided that alcohol doesn't make me feel very good about myself. Whenever I go out and drink, or stay in with a drink I feel really sad and depressed about life, even after one. Gin is the worst and even after one glass of wine now, I feel crap.
I used to work in an office where we went out every Friday after work and got wankered, but since I left about four months ago, i just haven't felt like drinking. I'm also really embarassed by things that have happened in the past when I've been pissed.

My mates say that I shouldn't deny myself the odd glass of wine if I ever really wanted chill out and not to make rigid rules for myself, as I'm thinking of becoming teetotal (- anyone who knows me will laugh!!) I do worry a lot about what people think, especially when I'm pissed and whether or not I'm making myself look stupid, but alcohol gives me confidence, like anyone else I spose.

Help! It seems like a big step, but am really fed up

I found your blog because I was thinking the exact same thing that I wanted to give up alcohol. I feel a bit like I rely on it when I'm on a night out and if I don't feel like a drink one of my friends buys me one anyway to encourage me to continue. It seems easier for me to boy cott alcohol altogether, at the moment I'm using the excuse that I'm on a diet which stopped me from getting completely wasted on our last trip out. If you feel more depressed after drinking then maybe you should stop for a while until you start to feel better. Tell your friends that you need a break from drinking and your not denying yourself the drink you'rs just taking a healthier approach to drinking. You might even find you don't really miss it after a while. The other thing is you might have been drinking the wrong type of drinks (you said gin was the worst), so if you have problems with gin, just stop the gin/wine.
I hope this has helped

I am a really nice person, but when I drink wine especially I become a horrible person, I am 46 now and should know better, I will make a complete fool of myself flirting with men. I have a great husband who can drink but never changes, I love a wine in the evening after a hard day with kids and work, but I am going to start today and try Please help if anyone out there is like me as I fear I will loose my family if this gets out of control.

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Hi

Sine I have sent this email I have joined weight watchers and only have had a drink on saturday when I went out with 6 friends for meal, i did have too much to drink as everyone else was drinking, my husband said i nearly went overboard, but I did control myself. I have lost 4 pounds with WW in two weeks so that has given me a great incentive to cut out the booze, but I am still finding it really hard. Great to talk to you all it is great to know that there are other people out there with same problem. I am really going to try hard this week.

Me too!!

I am 35 today! and since I can remember I have liked wine too much I cant have one or two has to be 5 or 6 or until the bottle has finished - I have never gone more than 2 days without drink, the self loathing and ill feeling after are terrible!! yet I still seem to fail after a few days and say oh sod it - one wont hurt - then the cycle begins again!!

hi
I can understand everyones situation, it would be nice for people in different areas to have a network were people without having to go to AA can meet with like minded people who want to get out of what is for most a routine, in from work must have a drink or out for the weekend, must binge if you do not in the week. In Ireland on a Website called boards.ie, check out under social what people are doing there to get out of the norm, great idea.

Alcohol is one nasty substance; not only do its "empty calories" lead to weight gain, it also damages your liver. Let's face it, alcohol is a drug and under its influence, people do stupid things.

Eliminating this toxin from your diet will do wonders for your body and health.

www.scrumptiouslyrealnutrition .co.uk

I think you have to be determined,I don't agree with your mates because you should impose on yourv self strict rules. One odd glass of wine could fall you back into bad habits. Don't worry about what people think on you, just do it for your health.
Best regards

Good morning.

I too have decided, over the weekend, to give up alcohol for good. I also hate the person I become when I drink. It literally changes me entirely and I do not want to be that person anymore.

I actually don't drink very often.. an odd glass of wine at home which never goes to 2 but its when there's a party or something that I seem to get plastered and then I decide that I have to go to town and go dancing. Ooooh, it is not good.

I told my husband lastnight of my plan and he says he will support me. It will be hard and more strange than anything else. I worry too, that my friends won't take me seriously but I really want to do this and I will be proving them all wrong.

Want to keep in touch and help each other out?

You know what, we can do it. My sister is 24 and has never had a drink.. she always has a great time when she goes out, she wakes up feeling great and never does anything she didnt intend doing.. sounds good doesn ...

Bannagh

I too feel like you, can I ask how you have gone on?

Polly

im the same im only confident when had a\ drink i dont drink in the house cos it makes me tired, i use to go out 3 times a week, i think it was just bordem an i cud let my hair down, wen im out i do drink alot i get my sen in sum rite states, it depends on what mood im in sumtimes it meks me depressed an other times it doesnt. im 4 month preg at the min so i either go out once a week or once a fortnight, i still drink tho has i cant go to town an not cos im not confident anoth an like i said i like to let my hair down xx

I can relate to what you're saying. After drinking way too much in my teens and twenties I gave up drinking for a number of years with the help of AA. I stopped going but still didn't drink for some years. About ten years ago I started again with the odd beer or glass of wine. Now I drink every day and have got to the stage where I can't wait to get home from work to have a few drinks, not getting drunk, just want to be in and altered state of reality.

Three days ago I decided it was becoming a problem, I don't drink to enjoy the occasion, what I'm doing isn't social drinking it's self-medication. I'm having to re-think a lot of things. I think maybe some people just shouldn't drink and i may be one of them.

It's hard to picture life without a drink, but one of the things AA says is take it one day at a time, don't swear off it forever, that's too hard, but don't drink today. The meetings really helped. Unfortunately I'm living in a country now where there aren't any meetings or I might go back.

Anyway, to anyone who wants to stop and can't, maybe AA could help you.

Hi,

I am glad I came across this forum. I am a student, so going out is part of the lifestyle, but over the past few years I have realised the effect drinking has on me. Its not that I change or do anything bad when I am drunk, but I do end up feeling extremely guilty and embarrassed after I drink. I stopped drinking and going out for a mere five weeks and felt a big difference but then I felt that I was missing out in the fun letting your hair down can bring. I have tried to go out and drink in moderation but often I will do well for a while, and then one night will change everything altogether, making me feel much worse, and reminding me of the past. I also find that there is an unbelievable pressure from peers to drink as it is what everyone does to relax. Everyone appears to laugh off embarrassing moments but I can't do it anymore. Others say i'm too hard on myself.

Thus the problem is never ending in many respects.

I am not sure what I can do. Its tough!

hi there i know only to well what ur saying,iv just deceided to give up drinking,im sick of feeling stubid and embarrassed, im 33 and have drank since i was ayoung teenager,but its only in the last few years that its been a problem, not that i drink loads just the way afew drinks sometimes can affect me,its time to pack it in id say. i also feel so ruff after drinking it takes me longer to recover, the next day im only fit to stay in bed and thats a day wasted and then i feel so cross with myself and then when i think of the night before and the things iv said and done i just get depressed.
drinking if fun but there comes atime when its time for change. good luck matey!

I know the feeling ! When I look back, most of my most blush-making experiences have been after a drink or two - so you're not alone ! In fact, a friend of mine calls it PPP (post ... up paranoia) I think the question that i asked myself was 'do i enjoy the drink enough to put up with feeling like this?' and i came to the conclusion that i didn't. OK the initial mouthful was great, but not that great. I decided to allow myself to feel better by not drinking alchohol - no big deal. Some people are wheat intolerant, I'm alchohol intolerant. I wish you well - and, if it's any support to you, I wish I'd made this decision earlier - there's no situation i look back on and think 'I wish I'd had more to drink that night' or 'if only I hadn't been sober' - sorry if any of this sounds patronising - it's not intended. All the best, whatever you decide.

When you think about making a big life-style change, it's sometimes helpful to imagine what someone who really loved and respected you would say. There are very few people in our lives who have absolutely no agenda when it comes to our choices. Only you know what alcohol does to you and how it affects your life, use that 'loving parent' voice to affirm your decision and remember that friends, even the closest ones, sometimes have an investment (albeit a subconscious one) in your continued drinking - or whatever behaviour you are trying to change - and cannot be objective. Therefore, never explain, never complain. you don't drink (or whatever) and you've taken the advice of someone with your very best interests at heart - yourself.

I think it sounds like you know what you want and what is right for you so you should not give a crap what people say.If you want to give up drinking then good for you.I wish i could be as strong as you. I NEED to stop drinking cause its wrecking my health and if i dont it will probably wreck my marriage too. I'm weak and pathetic and give in to tempation all the time, any excuse. I dont drink in the day and i would never drink and drive or be drunk around my kids but as soon as they are in bed and i know i dont have to drive i cant wait to start guzzling!! I know its a problem but i dont know what to do about it.I wish i had someone who could help me..

hi, i'm new to this site, just registered this evening. what you say and write is sooo completely same as myself and my situation. i have one child and not only is excessive amounts of wine ruining my health and what used to be a figure but is an enormous burden on my marriage. i find it sooo hard. so very very hard. i feel i have a whole list of 'excuses' and 'reasons' why its okay and acceptable for me to drink but bluntly i want my life to be my own and not have it ruled by booze. i hate the way it makes you extra hot and feeling full of toxins the day after. its not 'any' type of booze for me. i can leave most stuff if its in the house but i'm a wine drinker, is hard but i'm trying not to use the term 'wine-oh' but i guess actually i am. hohum.blush. sob. i look forward to reading and learning more on here to help me. i'm going to keep this finding of this site secret from everyone i know as dont wish to be judged nor receive spanish inquisition every time i see or speak with them. i'm glad i've found it and you and all of them out there. xxx

Hi Venus...I've known for some time now that I had a problem. Not a day goes by that I don't drink at least 1 bottle of wine. I totally know what you mean by body temperature; I'm permanently hot to the point that I obsessively wash my hands as they're always clammy. I've been drinking for such a long time that I rarely have a hangover (I never drink any other alcohol). Today was a turning point for me. I went for a job interview and had my first ever panic attack. I am naturally a confident person but in the middle of the interview, as the attention was put on me to describe myself, I lost it. The first thing I did when I got home was Google the connection between alcohol and anxiety. I've learned that there is a direct connection as alcohol lowers the production of hormones produced to keep you calm as well as lowering your blood sugar level. In a nutshell, the calming effect a drink can have on you to help you relax is completely reversed in the after-effect. I have decided that alcohol has the potential to ruin my life so today is my first day of going cold turkey. I know its going to be a huge challenge but I'm the only one who can make the change. There are absolutely no cons, only pros, to giving up. And tomorrow I'll be stocking up on fruit juice and mineral water along with milk thistle (this is a great natural tonic for your liver).

Like you, I haven't told family and friends about any of this. I'll be investing in some self-help books to work on restructuring my life. I hope all is going well with everyone taking on this incredibly difficult challenge. Here's to success (I say, as I raise a glass of Evian!). Tarryn74 fx

Hi, have just come across this thread, and your message stood out, as it sounds like me. I too would never drink during the day, or drink irresponsibly when I'm out at a friends house or a function, but nearly every night for the last 10 years or so I can't wait to have a drink! For a long time I didn't think it was a 'problem', as I can stop and have done for weeks at a time...but it's a habit that I really want to break for good, as my drinking is also accompanied by smoking. I have a lovely husband, and he likes to drink too, but drinks lager rather than wine, and has a very high metabolism so doesn't put on weight. I've put on weight over the last few years, and despite eating healthily and exercising, I can't shift it, obviously due to the wine I drink. After waking up on too many occasions feeling angry at my weakness I've decided to give up completely once and for all, and will start this week. Like you, I have to do this for my health...my blood pressure is slightly raised, and I just don't feel as well as I'm sure I could. I'm often tired and lethargic, and have to really force myself to exercise some days. So wish me luck, and I hope you can do the same. To be honest with you, if it makes you feel any better about your situation, I think we are just two of many, many women in the same situation who have come to look to the odd glass of wine, or three at the end of the day as a reward for what we put in to our lives, and a tool to help us relax and switch off. With best wishes, Cate.

i to have decided to try an give up the dreaded drink, i know my body cant take it anymore like you i am making an absolute show of myself every time i have a drink. I will find it really hard as all of my friends are party animals and i am like the life and soul of the party.

Help!I hope to god i can do it maybe we can give each other encouragement