Thinking about giving up alcohol

I have decided that alcohol doesn't make me feel very good about myself. Whenever I go out and drink, or stay in with a drink I feel really sad and depressed about life, even after one...

Hi shadowcat

I think you have to be determined,I don't agree with your mates because you should impose on yourv self strict rules. One odd glass of wine could fall you back into bad habits. Don't worry about what people think on you, just do it for your health.
Best regards

Hi shadowcat9, just wondered how you got on?

Good morning.

I too have decided, over the weekend, to give up alcohol for good. I also hate the person I become when I drink. It literally changes me entirely and I do not want to be that person anymore.

I actually don't drink very often.. an odd glass of wine at home which never goes to 2 but its when there's a party or something that I seem to get plastered and then I decide that I have to go to town and go dancing. Ooooh, it is not good.

I told my husband lastnight of my plan and he says he will support me. It will be hard and more strange than anything else. I worry too, that my friends won't take me seriously but I really want to do this and I will be proving them all wrong.

Want to keep in touch and help each other out?

You know what, we can do it. My sister is 24 and has never had a drink.. she always has a great time when she goes out, she wakes up feeling great and never does anything she didnt intend doing.. sounds good doesn ...

Bannagh

Sounds like me

Wow, just read your post & you could have been writing about me. I stopped dringking in the house years ago cos it was getting far too much of a habit, missed it at first but you get used to it. When i go out i tell myself im going to go steady but usuallly end up plastered and acting stupid and totally out of it, (i also decide that i have to go up-town dancing ). Im out tomorrow night with some old workmates for a meal and have decided not to drink alcahol, if they ask why im going to tell them the truth, i cant handle it, it doesnt suit me and i dont need it to have a good time. Im glad your husbands supporting you, my hubby worries when i go out cos he knows what a state i can get into, but he doesnt really believe me when i say im going t-total.

Good luck everyone

Hi there

I too feel like you, can I ask how you have gone on?

Polly

Drinkin

im the same im only confident when had a\ drink i dont drink in the house cos it makes me tired, i use to go out 3 times a week, i think it was just bordem an i cud let my hair down, wen im out i do drink alot i get my sen in sum rite states, it depends on what mood im in sumtimes it meks me depressed an other times it doesnt. im 4 month preg at the min so i either go out once a week or once a fortnight, i still drink tho has i cant go to town an not cos im not confident anoth an like i said i like to let my hair down xx

I know what you mean

I can relate to what you're saying. After drinking way too much in my teens and twenties I gave up drinking for a number of years with the help of AA. I stopped going but still didn't drink for some years. About ten years ago I started again with the odd beer or glass of wine. Now I drink every day and have got to the stage where I can't wait to get home from work to have a few drinks, not getting drunk, just want to be in and altered state of reality.

Three days ago I decided it was becoming a problem, I don't drink to enjoy the occasion, what I'm doing isn't social drinking it's self-medication. I'm having to re-think a lot of things. I think maybe some people just shouldn't drink and i may be one of them.

It's hard to picture life without a drink, but one of the things AA says is take it one day at a time, don't swear off it forever, that's too hard, but don't drink today. The meetings really helped. Unfortunately I'm living in a country now where there aren't any meetings or I might go back.

Anyway, to anyone who wants to stop and can't, maybe AA could help you.

It never ends....

Hi,

I am glad I came across this forum. I am a student, so going out is part of the lifestyle, but over the past few years I have realised the effect drinking has on me. Its not that I change or do anything bad when I am drunk, but I do end up feeling extremely guilty and embarrassed after I drink. I stopped drinking and going out for a mere five weeks and felt a big difference but then I felt that I was missing out in the fun letting your hair down can bring. I have tried to go out and drink in moderation but often I will do well for a while, and then one night will change everything altogether, making me feel much worse, and reminding me of the past. I also find that there is an unbelievable pressure from peers to drink as it is what everyone does to relax. Everyone appears to laugh off embarrassing moments but I can't do it anymore. Others say i'm too hard on myself.

Thus the problem is never ending in many respects.

I am not sure what I can do. Its tough!

Today is the day!

Hi everyone, reading everyones messages has been really helpful. I have been drinking what I realise now (!) is heavy consumption for about 5-6 years and I know it has got to stop. I love a glass of wine but I just can't seem to have just 1 or 2 glasses but keep on until the bottle is nearly empty or is empty and I haven't really given myself a break. I did stop for 3 weeks a year ago and more recently I have been having 1 or 2 nights a week where I don't drink but on the nights that I do I don't seem to be able to limit my intake! I don't think I am an alcoholic, although it I feel like it at times and this is actually the first time that I have openly discussed (with anyone) about how I feel about my drinking. I know I can stop and I feel that it has just become a habit for me and a support crutch after a busy day at work. I just need now to get out of the habit, as ideally I would like to stop drinking and only have the occasional drink for special occasions or at the weekend with my husband......I know this is possible and this is why I am going to make today the day - a new start, a new me and no alcohol..........taking control of my life again. Recently I have also been worried about the health implications and worrying about what internal damage all the alcohol may or has done; this is another reason that I want to take control, I don't feel good about my health - although nothing seems to be wrong I am fearful of what damage I have done and I need to turn this around. Thank you for listening

Inspired by your messages

I'm lying in bed with the worst hangover after drinking till 6am. This forum came up after I typed 'becoming teetotal' into my internet search and I am so relieved and inspired to hear that there are others out there that feel the same. I've been binge drinking since I was 14-year's old and it's gotten me into some really bad situations. Once I start, I just cannot stop and then the next day I end up feeling totally depressed and embarrased. My hangovers have even led to panic attacks on some occasions. I'd love to give up drinking but my husband and all our friends really enjoy a drink and I'm worried about what people will think or even whether people will enjoy socialising with me anymore. I'd love to get some tips from anyone who has kicked the habit. It is a shame there isn't a support network for like minded women. I don't feel that AA is for me.

You sound just like me!

I have just been reading through this messages and yours sounds just like. I started drinking when I was a bout 15 years old and if I am honest with myself I have been doing stupid, sad, and crazy things ever since. I can't imagine how much better my life would have been without alcohol. I have lost nearly every friend that was dear to me because of something stupid I have done. I started looking at this site because I am now 33 years old still a drinker and still not happy about the way I drink. I have blackouts now nearly everytime I drink and have had for a least ten years, I come from a family of alcoholics and binge drinkers. I am so scared to give up because like you my partner drinks alot and so do our friends and family, I am worried they will find me boring and that I wont want to go out anymore. I am a very out going person but still feel I have to drink to have fun. I know it's what I have to do and I will try and take it one day at a time. My partner supports me :0) I can't wait to go to social occassions and be the one who remembers everything and has fun because of that. Whats the point of going on great holidays and not remembering half of it because your wasted and spending half of it in bed hungover. So today I will begin this journey. I hope you are doing okay.

Guilt and embarrassment!!!!!!!

hi there i know only to well what ur saying,iv just deceided to give up drinking,im sick of feeling stubid and embarrassed, im 33 and have drank since i was ayoung teenager,but its only in the last few years that its been a problem, not that i drink loads just the way afew drinks sometimes can affect me,its time to pack it in id say. i also feel so ruff after drinking it takes me longer to recover, the next day im only fit to stay in bed and thats a day wasted and then i feel so cross with myself and then when i think of the night before and the things iv said and done i just get depressed.
drinking if fun but there comes atime when its time for change. good luck matey!

Message of support !

I know the feeling ! When I look back, most of my most blush-making experiences have been after a drink or two - so you're not alone ! In fact, a friend of mine calls it PPP (post ... up paranoia) I think the question that i asked myself was 'do i enjoy the drink enough to put up with feeling like this?' and i came to the conclusion that i didn't. OK the initial mouthful was great, but not that great. I decided to allow myself to feel better by not drinking alchohol - no big deal. Some people are wheat intolerant, I'm alchohol intolerant. I wish you well - and, if it's any support to you, I wish I'd made this decision earlier - there's no situation i look back on and think 'I wish I'd had more to drink that night' or 'if only I hadn't been sober' - sorry if any of this sounds patronising - it's not intended. All the best, whatever you decide.

Be kind to yourself

When you think about making a big life-style change, it's sometimes helpful to imagine what someone who really loved and respected you would say. There are very few people in our lives who have absolutely no agenda when it comes to our choices. Only you know what alcohol does to you and how it affects your life, use that 'loving parent' voice to affirm your decision and remember that friends, even the closest ones, sometimes have an investment (albeit a subconscious one) in your continued drinking - or whatever behaviour you are trying to change - and cannot be objective. Therefore, never explain, never complain. you don't drink (or whatever) and you've taken the advice of someone with your very best interests at heart - yourself.

Help!!

I think it sounds like you know what you want and what is right for you so you should not give a crap what people say.If you want to give up drinking then good for you.I wish i could be as strong as you. I NEED to stop drinking cause its wrecking my health and if i dont it will probably wreck my marriage too. I'm weak and pathetic and give in to tempation all the time, any excuse. I dont drink in the day and i would never drink and drive or be drunk around my kids but as soon as they are in bed and i know i dont have to drive i cant wait to start guzzling!! I know its a problem but i dont know what to do about it.I wish i had someone who could help me..

I wish i could help

That's really quite an issue you have there. Do you drink white wine or red? If red, make mead that's cooked wine with cloves in it, drink it warm, it's a real soother. If you drink white, then brew herbal teas, mix with ginger and sugar of honey, strain cool and refridgerate, and drink chilled in a wine glass. These are non-alchoholic pallette substitutes. The next step is to find something to take your mind into another realm while you are drinking them. Read a book, cook a nice meal, do some research into a topic you are interested in. Maybe for the first month or so sit down and read a compilation of positive affirmations you have made yourself to stop getting drunk.This is part of my own journal to try to stop the drinking habit. This is my first step, I am copying thisI wrote into my journal, printing it out and reading it everyday, along with facts about alcoholism and techniques to stop it, so after reading them, hopefully all I feel like is a cup of tea!

All the best.

Omg! same....

hi, i'm new to this site, just registered this evening. what you say and write is sooo completely same as myself and my situation. i have one child and not only is excessive amounts of wine ruining my health and what used to be a figure but is an enormous burden on my marriage. i find it sooo hard. so very very hard. i feel i have a whole list of 'excuses' and 'reasons' why its okay and acceptable for me to drink but bluntly i want my life to be my own and not have it ruled by booze. i hate the way it makes you extra hot and feeling full of toxins the day after. its not 'any' type of booze for me. i can leave most stuff if its in the house but i'm a wine drinker, is hard but i'm trying not to use the term 'wine-oh' but i guess actually i am. hohum.blush. sob. i look forward to reading and learning more on here to help me. i'm going to keep this finding of this site secret from everyone i know as dont wish to be judged nor receive spanish inquisition every time i see or speak with them. i'm glad i've found it and you and all of them out there. xxx

Me too!!!

Hi Venus...I've known for some time now that I had a problem. Not a day goes by that I don't drink at least 1 bottle of wine. I totally know what you mean by body temperature; I'm permanently hot to the point that I obsessively wash my hands as they're always clammy. I've been drinking for such a long time that I rarely have a hangover (I never drink any other alcohol). Today was a turning point for me. I went for a job interview and had my first ever panic attack. I am naturally a confident person but in the middle of the interview, as the attention was put on me to describe myself, I lost it. The first thing I did when I got home was Google the connection between alcohol and anxiety. I've learned that there is a direct connection as alcohol lowers the production of hormones produced to keep you calm as well as lowering your blood sugar level. In a nutshell, the calming effect a drink can have on you to help you relax is completely reversed in the after-effect. I have decided that alcohol has the potential to ruin my life so today is my first day of going cold turkey. I know its going to be a huge challenge but I'm the only one who can make the change. There are absolutely no cons, only pros, to giving up. And tomorrow I'll be stocking up on fruit juice and mineral water along with milk thistle (this is a great natural tonic for your liver).

Like you, I haven't told family and friends about any of this. I'll be investing in some self-help books to work on restructuring my life. I hope all is going well with everyone taking on this incredibly difficult challenge. Here's to success (I say, as I raise a glass of Evian!). Tarryn74 fx

Giving up drinking!

Hi, have just come across this thread, and your message stood out, as it sounds like me. I too would never drink during the day, or drink irresponsibly when I'm out at a friends house or a function, but nearly every night for the last 10 years or so I can't wait to have a drink! For a long time I didn't think it was a 'problem', as I can stop and have done for weeks at a time...but it's a habit that I really want to break for good, as my drinking is also accompanied by smoking. I have a lovely husband, and he likes to drink too, but drinks lager rather than wine, and has a very high metabolism so doesn't put on weight. I've put on weight over the last few years, and despite eating healthily and exercising, I can't shift it, obviously due to the wine I drink. After waking up on too many occasions feeling angry at my weakness I've decided to give up completely once and for all, and will start this week. Like you, I have to do this for my health...my blood pressure is slightly raised, and I just don't feel as well as I'm sure I could. I'm often tired and lethargic, and have to really force myself to exercise some days. So wish me luck, and I hope you can do the same. To be honest with you, if it makes you feel any better about your situation, I think we are just two of many, many women in the same situation who have come to look to the odd glass of wine, or three at the end of the day as a reward for what we put in to our lives, and a tool to help us relax and switch off. With best wishes, Cate.

Thinking of giving up alcohol

i to have decided to try an give up the dreaded drink, i know my body cant take it anymore like you i am making an absolute show of myself every time i have a drink. I will find it really hard as all of my friends are party animals and i am like the life and soul of the party.

Help!I hope to god i can do it maybe we can give each other encouragement

Hello

I am also thinking the same thing. Every time I go out it ends up bad. I drink to forget and don't feel pleased until I am legless and prancing around the place. Lately I just tend to get emotional. I'm sick of people losing respect for me too. I feel quite friendless at the moment. People are there for me but its like I have tainted our relationships forever.

I just wanted to see if you have managed to succeed since writing this in 2005!!

Any help would be much appreciated.
Harriett