Hi,

I found it hard to give up (or drink less) if I relied on my own will power. I could do it for a couple of days, but I just kept thinking about when I would have a drink again.

I would recommend hypnotherapy,or NLP, or EFT or any combination of these. They are not at all scary, they can work really fast (I listened to a CD just once and it started to make a differnece immediately). I can still enjoy a glass of wine, but I just don't have the urge to drink loads anymore.

I used David Allen's nlp-hypnotherapy.biz site where you can buy a downloadable CD.

In any case, get someone to support you. As you start to drink less you'll want to tell someone how well you are doing. It feels great.

The Lovely

"Thinking about giving up alcohol "

I have decided that alcohol doesn't make me feel very good about myself. Whenever I go out and drink, or stay in with a drink I feel really sad and depressed about life, even after one. Gin is the worst and even after one glass of wine now, I feel crap.
I used to work in an office where we went out every Friday after work and got wankered, but since I left about four months ago, i just haven't felt like drinking. I'm also really embarassed by things that have happened in the past when I've been pissed.

My mates say that I shouldn't deny myself the odd glass of wine if I ever really wanted chill out and not to make rigid rules for myself, as I'm thinking of becoming teetotal (- anyone who knows me will laugh!!) I do worry a lot about what people think, especially when I'm pissed and whether or not I'm making myself look stupid, but alcohol gives me confidence, like anyone else I spose.

Help! It seems like a big step, but am really fed up

I found your blog because I was thinking the exact same thing that I wanted to give up alcohol. I feel a bit like I rely on it when I'm on a night out and if I don't feel like a drink one of my friends buys me one anyway to encourage me to continue. It seems easier for me to boy cott alcohol altogether, at the moment I'm using the excuse that I'm on a diet which stopped me from getting completely wasted on our last trip out. If you feel more depressed after drinking then maybe you should stop for a while until you start to feel better. Tell your friends that you need a break from drinking and your not denying yourself the drink you'rs just taking a healthier approach to drinking. You might even find you don't really miss it after a while. The other thing is you might have been drinking the wrong type of drinks (you said gin was the worst), so if you have problems with gin, just stop the gin/wine.
I hope this has helped

I am a really nice person, but when I drink wine especially I become a horrible person, I am 46 now and should know better, I will make a complete fool of myself flirting with men. I have a great husband who can drink but never changes, I love a wine in the evening after a hard day with kids and work, but I am going to start today and try Please help if anyone out there is like me as I fear I will loose my family if this gets out of control.

Hello, a thought popped into my head while I was reading of your dilemma. Try just looking at the wine and saying to yourself..."just don't do it", make a cup of tea instead, pour your husband a glass of wine, and then forget about it. If you are keen on cold white wine, herbal teas chilled in the fridge are a great substitute. Try mixing different herbal teas together, and while still hot, stirring in quite a bit of raw sugar or honey to dissolve it, making it a sweet cold beverage to have while you are sociallizing. In a wine glass, noone would know the difference. If it is too sweet and not tart enough for you, just sqeeze a little fresh lemon juice in before drinking...you'll be surprised how much it actually tastes like wine! Pouring the hot tea over grated ginger and letting cool at room temp, then strainging it and putiing it in the fridge in a bottle is a good one too.

All the best, hope you stay in control.

" "

Hi

Sine I have sent this email I have joined weight watchers and only have had a drink on saturday when I went out with 6 friends for meal, i did have too much to drink as everyone else was drinking, my husband said i nearly went overboard, but I did control myself. I have lost 4 pounds with WW in two weeks so that has given me a great incentive to cut out the booze, but I am still finding it really hard. Great to talk to you all it is great to know that there are other people out there with same problem. I am really going to try hard this week.

" "

Well done! All power to you, you have inspired me...I drink everyday at the moment, and am finding it ludicrous...waste of money and time, trying to teach my brain to have fun without it. I always feel so guilty when I drink anyway, until I have one or two, and then I really don't care....I'm going to make a real effort this week too. All the best.

Me too!!

I am 35 today! and since I can remember I have liked wine too much I cant have one or two has to be 5 or 6 or until the bottle has finished - I have never gone more than 2 days without drink, the self loathing and ill feeling after are terrible!! yet I still seem to fail after a few days and say oh sod it - one wont hurt - then the cycle begins again!!

It's hard after a few days or even a week, when you feel so good for not having touched alchohol, and you feel like you could do anything! All you want to do is celebrate! It's a mind game...this time, I'm going to try replacing my version of celebrating with something other than drinking a bottle of wine that cost 20 or 30 dollars...it's funny, the less you drink the more quality alchohol you buy, which isn't a bad thing, but you still spend the same amount of money relatively. So ifanyone has any grand ideas of a good replacement for alchohol as a reward, would love to hear some ideas!

Good Luck.

hi
I can understand everyones situation, it would be nice for people in different areas to have a network were people without having to go to AA can meet with like minded people who want to get out of what is for most a routine, in from work must have a drink or out for the weekend, must binge if you do not in the week. In Ireland on a Website called boards.ie, check out under social what people are doing there to get out of the norm, great idea.

Alcohol is one nasty substance; not only do its "empty calories" lead to weight gain, it also damages your liver. Let's face it, alcohol is a drug and under its influence, people do stupid things.

Eliminating this toxin from your diet will do wonders for your body and health.

www.scrumptiouslyrealnutrition .co.uk

I think you have to be determined,I don't agree with your mates because you should impose on yourv self strict rules. One odd glass of wine could fall you back into bad habits. Don't worry about what people think on you, just do it for your health.
Best regards

Good morning.

I too have decided, over the weekend, to give up alcohol for good. I also hate the person I become when I drink. It literally changes me entirely and I do not want to be that person anymore.

I actually don't drink very often.. an odd glass of wine at home which never goes to 2 but its when there's a party or something that I seem to get plastered and then I decide that I have to go to town and go dancing. Ooooh, it is not good.

I told my husband lastnight of my plan and he says he will support me. It will be hard and more strange than anything else. I worry too, that my friends won't take me seriously but I really want to do this and I will be proving them all wrong.

Want to keep in touch and help each other out?

You know what, we can do it. My sister is 24 and has never had a drink.. she always has a great time when she goes out, she wakes up feeling great and never does anything she didnt intend doing.. sounds good doesn ...

Bannagh

I too feel like you, can I ask how you have gone on?

Polly

im the same im only confident when had a\ drink i dont drink in the house cos it makes me tired, i use to go out 3 times a week, i think it was just bordem an i cud let my hair down, wen im out i do drink alot i get my sen in sum rite states, it depends on what mood im in sumtimes it meks me depressed an other times it doesnt. im 4 month preg at the min so i either go out once a week or once a fortnight, i still drink tho has i cant go to town an not cos im not confident anoth an like i said i like to let my hair down xx

I can relate to what you're saying. After drinking way too much in my teens and twenties I gave up drinking for a number of years with the help of AA. I stopped going but still didn't drink for some years. About ten years ago I started again with the odd beer or glass of wine. Now I drink every day and have got to the stage where I can't wait to get home from work to have a few drinks, not getting drunk, just want to be in and altered state of reality.

Three days ago I decided it was becoming a problem, I don't drink to enjoy the occasion, what I'm doing isn't social drinking it's self-medication. I'm having to re-think a lot of things. I think maybe some people just shouldn't drink and i may be one of them.

It's hard to picture life without a drink, but one of the things AA says is take it one day at a time, don't swear off it forever, that's too hard, but don't drink today. The meetings really helped. Unfortunately I'm living in a country now where there aren't any meetings or I might go back.

Anyway, to anyone who wants to stop and can't, maybe AA could help you.

Hi,

I am glad I came across this forum. I am a student, so going out is part of the lifestyle, but over the past few years I have realised the effect drinking has on me. Its not that I change or do anything bad when I am drunk, but I do end up feeling extremely guilty and embarrassed after I drink. I stopped drinking and going out for a mere five weeks and felt a big difference but then I felt that I was missing out in the fun letting your hair down can bring. I have tried to go out and drink in moderation but often I will do well for a while, and then one night will change everything altogether, making me feel much worse, and reminding me of the past. I also find that there is an unbelievable pressure from peers to drink as it is what everyone does to relax. Everyone appears to laugh off embarrassing moments but I can't do it anymore. Others say i'm too hard on myself.

Thus the problem is never ending in many respects.

I am not sure what I can do. Its tough!

hi there i know only to well what ur saying,iv just deceided to give up drinking,im sick of feeling stubid and embarrassed, im 33 and have drank since i was ayoung teenager,but its only in the last few years that its been a problem, not that i drink loads just the way afew drinks sometimes can affect me,its time to pack it in id say. i also feel so ruff after drinking it takes me longer to recover, the next day im only fit to stay in bed and thats a day wasted and then i feel so cross with myself and then when i think of the night before and the things iv said and done i just get depressed.
drinking if fun but there comes atime when its time for change. good luck matey!

I know the feeling ! When I look back, most of my most blush-making experiences have been after a drink or two - so you're not alone ! In fact, a friend of mine calls it PPP (post ... up paranoia) I think the question that i asked myself was 'do i enjoy the drink enough to put up with feeling like this?' and i came to the conclusion that i didn't. OK the initial mouthful was great, but not that great. I decided to allow myself to feel better by not drinking alchohol - no big deal. Some people are wheat intolerant, I'm alchohol intolerant. I wish you well - and, if it's any support to you, I wish I'd made this decision earlier - there's no situation i look back on and think 'I wish I'd had more to drink that night' or 'if only I hadn't been sober' - sorry if any of this sounds patronising - it's not intended. All the best, whatever you decide.

When you think about making a big life-style change, it's sometimes helpful to imagine what someone who really loved and respected you would say. There are very few people in our lives who have absolutely no agenda when it comes to our choices. Only you know what alcohol does to you and how it affects your life, use that 'loving parent' voice to affirm your decision and remember that friends, even the closest ones, sometimes have an investment (albeit a subconscious one) in your continued drinking - or whatever behaviour you are trying to change - and cannot be objective. Therefore, never explain, never complain. you don't drink (or whatever) and you've taken the advice of someone with your very best interests at heart - yourself.

I think it sounds like you know what you want and what is right for you so you should not give a crap what people say.If you want to give up drinking then good for you.I wish i could be as strong as you. I NEED to stop drinking cause its wrecking my health and if i dont it will probably wreck my marriage too. I'm weak and pathetic and give in to tempation all the time, any excuse. I dont drink in the day and i would never drink and drive or be drunk around my kids but as soon as they are in bed and i know i dont have to drive i cant wait to start guzzling!! I know its a problem but i dont know what to do about it.I wish i had someone who could help me..

That's really quite an issue you have there. Do you drink white wine or red? If red, make mead that's cooked wine with cloves in it, drink it warm, it's a real soother. If you drink white, then brew herbal teas, mix with ginger and sugar of honey, strain cool and refridgerate, and drink chilled in a wine glass. These are non-alchoholic pallette substitutes. The next step is to find something to take your mind into another realm while you are drinking them. Read a book, cook a nice meal, do some research into a topic you are interested in. Maybe for the first month or so sit down and read a compilation of positive affirmations you have made yourself to stop getting drunk.This is part of my own journal to try to stop the drinking habit. This is my first step, I am copying thisI wrote into my journal, printing it out and reading it everyday, along with facts about alcoholism and techniques to stop it, so after reading them, hopefully all I feel like is a cup of tea!

All the best.