Im 14 and i have a phantom illness

i think if someone else is sick i am
im scared of being ill and iven if im not ill i cry alot
i dont sleep easy and get bored easy and when im bored i feel ill

i hate being by myself and when i am i feel worse
i hate it when my family are ill because i cant go near them.

i never ust to be like this but it seems now i am my lifes a mess

i do bad in school and i dearnt go anywhere by myself

i once tryed to kill myself but couldnt make my family upset

anyone help me get over all of this big BIG mess?

This reminds me a lot of what I went through a few years back. I had so many phobias and fears that something as simple as going to class became petrifying. My life was a trainwreck and just like you, I had seriously considered suicide but couldn't bare to think about what that would do to my family. The only thing I can recommend is counselling. My mom found me an amazing woman counselor to talk to and she really helped me along tremendously. When she first met me I was about 16 and was being transfered to a continuation school and there was already a chance I couldn't graduate. I could barely make it to class because I was only comfortable at home. I'm 19 now and going to a Univerisity and living in a dorm. I don't think I ever would have been able to get where I am now without the help of and guidence of a coucelor. It sounds juvinile and pointless but some of the things that they are able to uncover and help you discover about yourself can totally turn your life around. Definitely give it a shot, it's worth it.

Hi Banksy

You sound just like I did when I was younger. I used to run away instead of trying to kill myself though in the hope that my parents would take more notice.


Have you told your mum how you are feeling. Would you try and sit down and talk to her. She would really be worried honestly. You have to open up to her.

Otherwise ask to go and see the Doctor. He can help and give advice.

Is there a school nurse you could talk to a teacher you can confide in at school?

You are not alone feeling like this and you are a worthwhile person.

You will get through this but in order to do this you must either speak to your mum, dad, or a teacher.

You have to let things out and don't bottle it all up.

All the best.

Hugs

Fee

Ok so I am a boring mum, but I have a 16 year old daughter. Every day I think she must be depressed, I fear for her mental health,there is so much presssure on her, but then she has a good day and all is well.
At your age, you have a lot of things going on in your head and body, its a really difficult thing to be growing up..but it won't be for ever.
I would feel so horrible if she killed herself because I would want her to be able to talk to me,but I think I am too close somehow,,and if not me then another member of the family, or a trusted teacher.
You seem to have an extra big portion of teenagerness, which isn't your fault..and there are lots and lots of people who are sitting there just waiting for you to ask for help.
Your school is all set-up to help.You school nurse just needs you to say yes, and it will all be there to help you..honest... .and you won't be the first or last to go through this..
my friend at school had the same thing, and once she said help, wow what a difference..and that was about 100 years ago (haha) these days its not weak its strong to ask for help...you can do it..I know you can.
Let someone who is trained and an expert do the job of sorting it out...with you
I bet everything you try to do goes wrong? We all need help with our bodies..we see doctors, dentists, therapists are just for the brain bit - there's no shame and it can make such a huge difference.
Its normal to be down at your age , sometimes. its normal for you to be scared to tell anyone, and its normal for you to shut yourself away...but do you want to be normal like this?..no course you don't. You can make normal happier...you CAN.

You are worth it, you have noticed tht you have a problem so thats half the battle , and you are a kind person who cares, because you think of your family who would be devastated...if you can't get help for you..do it for them..they are probably terrified...I am, some nights I can't sleep with worrying about her.
And i bet you don't have an illness..I bet you £1..
but if you have, at least you can get it sorted, and move on....listen I have learned in life that worrying never made any illness go away......please personal message me, I need to know you are ok..I only have one kid so I have space for a cyber one and I won't nag you about tidying your room!))
Genuine mumzie hug
H