How do i over come my depprssive spells
Hi i have had a problem with deppression since child hood since i suffered abse at the hands of my step dad and then many years later at 18 raped by a friend.
i have quit many jobs because of my deppression.
it goes like this. it lasts for 1-4 monthes at a time and hits for no reason, even reading a "dark" story can trigger the depression.over the years i have left many jobs down to stress of working and getting alone with others leading to deppressive spells.
i really cant think of any other way in describing this.
when i was a child and going through the abuse i read ALOT! I was reading 7 books a week a book a day, (i was 10-12 at the time) and they were point horror books and they kept me alive.
i noticed a cycle, nearly everytime a depressive spell came i would read.
this time though its VERY EXCESSIVE, i let myself slip into another deppressive spell around 3 weeks ago and i began to read abussive versions of harry potter on the web, that led to a sleepless night and that became my new life style, read 20 hours a day and then sleep whilst eating little.
i find it very difficult to do small things like getting dressed in the morning, going to the shops for milk, let alone going to work.
im finding it so hard to stick to my part time job at the moment, as this is the first time i have stuck to a job whilst in this state, any more hours and it would be impossible.
im sick of this life, the reading about the abuse including self harming and suicide is sounding all too sweet. although im fighting the urge to slice and dice my own arms for i have never felt this way before.
i have gone to counciling before but it didnt help and getting out the house to go whilst in a spell was not easy and my doctor doesnt think im serious enough to treat just sends me to counciling.
i want to try doing something new! i want the spells to stop! they happen around 3-4 maby 5 times a year lasting for weeks to monthes maby half the year!
help me.....
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