Advice needed..3rd drgree tear previous birth v home birth 2nd time around?

hi all im in abit of a dilemma i have a 21mth old daughter and am now 25+1weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby..i had a 3rd degree tear with mia and a very traumatic birth ie. ventouse delivery,3rd degree tear,was in theatre for 2hrs being stiched up,had a catheter in for a week was in hospital for 5 days,i lost 1700ml of blood so had to have a blood transfusion! .because of this im booked in for an elective c section but the problem is i dont like my dads attitude towards mia and my mums refusing to have her at my house while im in hospital after my c section...so i have no one to have mia. im very fussy about who i leave her with and have only ever left her 3 times in 2years! the only option i can think of is that i cancel my section and opt for a home birth would i be allowed in rented accomodation? what are the risks of the same thing happening again? am i being stupid? i just dont want to be lying in my hospital bed worrying abt my lil princess shes all ive got. id rather me suffer than my baby moo i dont kno what to do and i cant believe how selfish my mums being i want mias routine affected as little as possible by this any advice would be much appreciated a worried jade,mia-neve and 25+1 connor bump xxx

I no exactly how you feel

im exactly the same with my little boy who is now 27 months old i have never left him as i dont trust anyone enough. i had athird degree tear with him and didnt get given the option of anything other than a section i dont know if this has anything to do with the fact that i still tear down there now some times or my hospital etc. maybe worth talking to your midwife about your concerns though.
jess and 35+4 girly bump

Hi there.

I had a section with my last due to placenta abruption and they aid a home birth was out of the question this time....

You will need to ask your midwife and see what she says. I don't know the chances of you tearing again but she may be able to shine some light on it! You don't want to start labour off at home and then get rushed in!

It's a shame about your parents though you have a few weeks left and maybe things may turn-around in time. Perhaps they see you giving birth as a long way off and are not really contemplating what will happen with Mia yet.... Parents can be really difficult, i have a love hate relationship with mine, we are loved up at the moment but that's when they usually take a funny turn and drag things up from years ago....

Have you tried saying that Mia will be easier in her own home as she has everything around her and is in a routine??

It will work out in the end...

TC, amanda 24+6 x