This probably sounds really bad, but from the moment I found out I was pregnant I was in shock. My partner is the impulsive not commited type and my parents, are to be advised tonight. I'm at 12 weeks now. my professional has no doubt been ruined, but my major worry is doctors, midwives and hospitals.

I WILL run when an injection needle is present, if pinned down I have never failed to fight my way out and my only injections which I am old enough to recall have been when I have literally been knocking on deaths door and couldn't raise an arm to fight.

I told my doctor 3 weeks ago he took my blood pressure. in one weeks time I am to visit the midwife for the first time. I am already scared of this appointment, not having had a smear in my life, as I always avoided them nicely. A misccarraige when I was younger may be as close as I got to that experience and even then they couldn't do the D&C as they wanted.

My partner is excited and really wants to come with me... I'm a neurotic crying mess who would rather run away from them all... and to be honest can't even begin to see how I will get through the tests.. before you have a go, no the baby was never my first priority nor what I wanted, it was a mistake, which my partner loves, and I have to live with As it is I go from a nice salary to next to nothing as I don't qualify for benefits, so need to be at work within 6 weeks of getting it out of me. Sorry I sound so nasty and heartless, but this has ruined my life, career, and possibly changed my relationship forever.

Hi

You poor thing, you sound so stressed. My situation is different to yours, but here are my thoughts regardless ...

I think it is entirely natural to be in shock when you become pregnant. I was pleased, but also shocked, and I have had bad moments when I have felt really sick and told my husband that I wished I could take it all back. I was even referring to the pregnancy as "the devil's spawn" for a little while because I found the feeling of pregnancy so awful. I have had horrible nausea. It is such an emotional time.

I don't know all your circumstances but I think you will be suprised about how it is possible to get your career back on track after pregnancy. Try and be as positive as you can. I think you can probably cope with this better than you imagine.

Hang in there!

X

Thank you for taking the time to respond and it is very reassuring that I am not the only person who was shocked despite wanting the pregnancy before the fact; its so easy to find happy thoughts and none of the fears explained. I do hope all goes well for you and that the nausea has sorted out somewhat.

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Of course! I think there are many many more people who are shocked and ill-prepared for this that just us!

How did it go with your parents?