....not sure what to do..

heya everyone
Hope you all okay....

I have a bit of a situation.....

When I first told my mum I was pregnant, one of the first things my she asked was if she could be my birthing partner, and I said yes not really thinking (wasnt really thinking about the birth at 6 weeks gone) and obviously she was really excited and told everyone, shes going to be there at the birth....

Well now me and my OH have been talking about the birth and we have both decided we just want us two there when baby girl makes her first appearance, as we have been through so much together through the pregnancy, we want the birth to just be us two...

And now i dont know how to tell my mum, as i know she will scream, shout and cry and probably not speak to me for ages.... Am I be selfish? and is there a good way of telling her? I really am stuck on this one, as i dont have a particular good relationship with my mum anyway....

Any advice/help would be great.....

Thanks girls
kat 29+4 Pinky Bump xxx

Hey

hey
when i had my daughter i had my bf and my mum there,i was glad actually as my mum was amazing even when the labour started to wrong she kept her cool......this time again my mum and bf are comming with me,my mum didnt want to come incase all went wrong again but has decided she will..it was her choice but to be honest im glad shes comming.
just sit your mum down and explain it to her,im sure she will be fine
linzi 22+2

Thank you everyone

Well I have decided that I deffinatly dont want my mum there, as I think she will annoy me rather than help.....

Will try and pluck up the courage to tell her this week

Wish me luck.... p.s im 30 weeks today yeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!

Love me

Kat 30 week pinky Bump xxx

Mums can be calming

I had just my OH for my first two births, then on my 3rd I had my mum and my OH. It was wonderful and made the birth so much easier to have them both there. I could have the support of my OH but then on my left was my mum and it calmed me down no end to lean my head on my mum and feel her arm round me. and at the same time give my OH lots of finger nail digging lol!!
My mum stayed up by my head and backed off a little as the baby was born so my OH could lift the baby and cut the cord etc.
In a way it was like my mum was there just for me whereas my OH was there for me and the baby.

If your mum would be happy to take a back seat role then maybe that could be a happy compromise??
But if you really don't want her there then be straight and tell her cos you will be reliving ur baby's birth for years to come and you don't want anything to marr it

Good luck
Ann
xxx

Hey

hi.. I kind of have the same dilema as you.. at around 12 weeks my partners mom asked if she could be my birth partner aswell, I said yes.. and now its getting closer I wish I hadnt and it was just me and OH... If I say she cant be there she will be gutted, as she was there for her other grand kids.. so I have decided to just stick with what I have said now, but Iv told OH to tell her I want her up by my head and no where else!!!!!!

but as its your mom... I would just be honest with her, she will have to understand!


love suzanne 32+1 xxxxxxxx

Check with the hospital...

ring the hospital and ask them how many you are allowed - like Adele i was only allowed 1 birthing partner as swine flu - we also werent allowed any visitors...

I had my mum in the first time and it was so reassuring to have her there but honesty is the best policy and she has to respect the fact that you want it just you 2 - its your moment not hers!

xxx

Hey hun

Tell her that Hospital policy is that you are only allowed 1 birthing partner in the room, this was our hospital policy. xx

Difficult one, but at the end of the day its your and your oh day and you need to have it as pefect and relaxed as you can xx

Adele xx

Hi kat..

I was in the same situation. I thought this would be her las grandchild etc, she dropped hints so i asked. I has second thoughts afterwards and just wanted it to be myself and hubby there as it feels more special. As it happens, we are not speaking at the moment (again, this happens every few months). Even if we get speaking again i just want it to be myself and hubby there now and will have to break the news, it will probably cause another argument but i will cross that bridge when i come to it.

I fully understand where you're coming from. Don't forget that this is probably going to be the most special day in your lives and you should have that day on your terms, do what you want to do. I don't think screaming at you or crying is a good response really .... Sit her down and explain that you have changed your mind and deal with the response when it comes. You sound like your relationship is pretty much like mine. I guess in a way i thought that asking her would make things a lot better, trust me, it wont. Do what you want to do for you and your partner, people will just have to stand by your decision.

I probably wouldn't be doing labour properly anyway and it would give her another reason to put me down - lol.

Stick by your guns and good luck!!!!

TC, amanda 30+3 xx

Hey hunny

When I gave birth I wanted my OH and my mum there LOL I know most hospitals don't allow more than one birthing partner but I asked mw and put up a bit of a fuss and they allowed my mum to be in the background while I gave birth and my OH to be my birthing partner.
Just speak to your mw and ask if they can both come in. Tell your mum you want your OH to be your main birthing partner but she can be in the background, Your not being selfish hun

Kirsty, Daisy (3) and Jack (4 days old )

xxxxxx

Hey there.

Honey, you need to calm down! Sure she will be upset, but it is up to you and OH to decide. The birth of a first child only happens once! I hope she will be understanding, you will obviously need to be sympathetic to the face she has been so excited but really if she is gonna scream and shout and not talk to you at a time when you may really value her advice and support then she is the one being selfish not you guys.

I think you should tell her sooner rather than later, perhaps telling her that her presence at the hosp would mean alot and that she can be called in as soon as the 3 of you have had a few moments together......?

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Ems 12+4 large lime. xxxxxxxxxx